Judy Ford - Wonderful Ways to Love a Child: Inspired Ideas for Raising Happy, Healthy Children

Praise for Wonderful Ways to Love a Child

Wonderful Ways to Love a Child is a beautiful guide to aid parents in cultivating love, understanding, respect, and kindness in the most important relationship they will ever havethe one with their child.

Amanda Ford, author of Be True to Yourself and Retail Therapy

A beautiful and moving guide to connecting with your child. I buy this for all my parental friends!

Becca Anderson, author of The Book of Awesome Women

If you dont have a child, surprise someone who does and give them a copy of this book. Theyll love you for it!

The New Times

A must for every family library.

USA Today

Wonderful Ways to Love a Child

Other Books by Judy Ford

Wonderful Ways to Love a Teen

Wonderful Ways to Be a Family

Wonderful Ways to Be a Stepparent

Wonderful Ways to Love a Grandchild

Expecting Baby

Between Mother and Daughter

Getting Over Getting Mad

Wonderful Ways to Love a Child

Inspired Ideas for Raising
Happy, Healthy Children

Judy Ford

Coral Gables

Copyright 1991, 2003, 2020 Judy Ford

2020 edition published by Conari Press, an imprint of Mango Publishing Group, a division of Mango Media Inc.

Cover: Roberto Nu ez

Interior Design: Jermaine Lau

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Wonderful Ways to Love a Child: Inspired Ideas for Raising Happy, Healthy Children

LCCN has been requested

ISBNs: (p) 978-1-64250-292-3 (e) 978-1-64250-293-0

BISAC: FAM020000, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / Fatherhood

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

For Amanda Leigh who so graciously allows me to share our story.

I dont remember much from my childhood. At least, I dont remember my childhood with the same clarity as my days as an active high school student or my years as a coed living in the dorms. My memories of life before age thirteen are fuzzy. Exacts and specifics elude me, and instead random, unconnected images flash occasionally in my mind like a poorly organized photo album. For example, I do remember the name of my first grade teacher, but I dont remember who I played with at recess, where I sat in the classroom, or what I learned that year. I also remember crying in the second grade because my best friend hurt my feelings, but I cant, no matter how hard I try, remember exactly what she did. Amid all these unclear and incomplete images, however, are a few standout events that I remember as precisely as if they happened yesterday. And there is one in particular that is my favorite.

I was eight years old and my mom and I were driving home after a day of running errands. We had had a wonderful time together going to the pharmacy, picking up the dry cleaning, and browsing the bookshop. Just before we reached our neighborhood my mom said, I hope you and I can always have fun together. When I asked her why we might not, she explained that sometimes mothers and daughters fought, that sometimes, as daughters grew up, mothers and daughters grew apart.

Then, with sincerity, my mom told me, No matter what, I want us to always have a good relationship.

Immediately I understood what my mom meant. It wasnt that she hoped wed never have a fight; it was much more than that. She knew we would hit rough spots in our relationship, that we wouldnt always agree, that I wouldnt always want her around, that running errands together on a Sunday wouldnt always be as carefree as they were that day. What my mom meant was that she was willing to work through those difficult times, willing to fight it out, willing to give it her all to cultivate a loving mother-daughter relationship.

Watching my mother, I have learned that being a wonderful parent and developing an exceptional relationship with a child is an act of choice. Ive often heard stressed-out mothers say to my mom, Youre just lucky, thats why you and your daughter get along. If you had my wild kid, you would be miserable. Statements like these arent true. A person doesnt become a good parent by chance, and a baby doesnt become a good child by luck. My mom often repeats a quote from Jackie Kennedy Onassis: If you bungle raising your children, I dont think whatever else you do matters very much. Early in her life as a parent, my mom decided that she was going to succeed. She made an aware, conscious, and thoughtful choice to make raising me, her daughter, her number one priority.

My mom has said to me, I may have failed in many areas of my life, but in raising you I succeeded. As her daughter, I must agree. My childhood was an absolute success! Now as I begin my adult life, my relationship with my mom continues strong, just as shed always hoped it would.

Wonderful Ways to Love a Child is a blessing for both parents and children. The words are heartfelt, the stories are true, and the advice can help every family have a success story of their own. Wonderful Ways to Love a Child is a beautiful guide to aid parents in cultivating love, understanding, respect, and kindness in the most important relationship they will ever havethe one with their child.

Amanda Ford

It is not enough to feel love for your child, you must be able to express your love through your actions.

Loving your child is simple and perplexingyou cant just feel it, youve got to show it! Feeling love in your heart for your child is not enoughto love your baby, your toddler, your adolescent through all the stages and phases of childhood requires that you express your love through your loving actions; and, as you probably already know, its a lifetime commitment that requires your energy, demands lots of work, and calls you to rise above your own conditioning and preconceived notions. You will have to grow to your highest calling. You will have to be always mindful of what you say and do since you are the most important person in your childs life and in your heart you know that how you treat your child each and every moment does matter.

Your loving actions are needed from the instant you bring your baby into the world and forever after. Madeline and Dave take turns getting up at night, doing the laundry, cooking the meals, and changing the diapers. In just one month with a baby at home, their lives have changed considerablyno more sleeping in, no more leisurely showers, no more gourmet brunches or spontaneous outings. But as they put aside their own needs and desires to care for their newborn, Madeline and Dave are discovering that it is through their loving actions that their lives are enriched. Quickly they are learning what many parents before them have learnedthat you cant be selfish, self-centered, or lazy if you want to take loving care of your child; you will be called on to perform many mundane tasks of child rearing, many of which arent all that fun, but when you do them anyway, because your child needs you to, you are taking right and loving action and the bond between you grows stronger. Madeline and Dave are learning, as you will too, that parenting requires continuous adjustment and loving actions, even when you are too tired to feel much love.