David Millar - Racing Through the Dark

WORLD-CLASS CYCLIST , Tour de France stage winner, and time trial specialist David Millar offers a vivid portrait of his life in professional cyclingincluding his soul-searing detour into performance-enhancing drugs, his dramatic arrest and two-year ban, and his ultimate decision to return to the sport he loves to race cleanin this arrestingly candid memoir, which he wrote himself.

As a young Scottish expat living in Hong Kong with his father after his parents divorce, Millar showed early promise with mountain biking and BMX. Two wise local cyclists took him under their wings, encouraging him to concentrate on road racing. Millar proved a ready convert. Racing Through the Dark offers the winning account of his climb through the ranksfirst as an amateur and then as a pro, riding for the French team Cofidis. Among his early triumphs were several stage wins in the Tour de France.

From the moment Millar turned pro, he began to see hints of the unethical measures that manymaybe mostof the other pros were taking in order to race at the very tops of their games and beyond. At first, he felt that he was immune to temptation, that he could win clean. But the ugly pervasiveness of performance-enhancing drugs and the seemingly universal attitude that condoned it began to corrode his willpower. Racing Through the Dark details his eventual capitulation, his subsequent arrest and two-year ban from cycling, and his remarkable comeback as a clean cyclist who is now doing his utmost to keep performance-enhancing drugs out of the sport he so loves.

Filled with thrilling descriptions of the worlds most spectacular courses, Racing Through the Dark captures the pure joy of cycling and includes some of the most vivid accounts of racing ever written by a true insider.

Praise for David Millars Racing Through the Dark

World-class cyclist Millar examines his tarnished quest to the top of his sport in his stunning memoir. Anyone interested in the grueling world of the men in professional cycling ought to read this candid, courageous book of Millars journey from regret to redemption. PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

One of the great first-person accounts of sporting experience Laceratingly honest, detailing every twist in the argument by which he convinced himself to take a step he had previously considered unthinkable. Anyone seeking to understand the motivation of a drug cheat, or wondering why such a man should be allowed back into his sport, will find their curiosity satisfied here. THE GUARDIAN (UK)

Unbeatable as a snapshot of the professional peloton, its agonies and ecstasies Emotional yet in no way overwrought, Millars memoirs read like a parable more than a manifesto. Essential reading for all young riders as well as fans. PROCYCLING

The greatest strength of this plainly but compellingly told story is that it doesnt shock. Millar is searingly honest about his own failings and neuroses but his book is intelligent, subtle, nuanced, not flowery or overly descriptiveand it is all the more powerful for it. This will go down as one of the great sporting autobiographies. SCOTLAND ON SUNDAY (UK)

A sporting masterpiece, a timeless snapshot of a sportsman plumbing the depths and miraculously bouncing back both as a rider and a man. DAILY TELEGRAPH (UK)

An incredibly personal, moving, and compelling story. CYCLING PLUS

Searingly honest. MAIL ON SUNDAY (UK)

World-class cyclist DAVID MILLAR turned pro in 1997. A champion time trialist for team Garmin-Barracuda, he has raced in nearly every major international cycling event, including the Tour de France, Vuelta a Espaa, and the Olympic Games. He lives in Girona, Spain, with his wife and son.

www.racingthroughthedark.com

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Copyright 2011 by David Millar

Originally published in Great Britain in 2011 by Orion Books

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Touchstone Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.

First Touchstone hardcover edition June 2012

TOUCHSTONE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Extract from Somerset Maughams The Razors Edge (1943) has been reproduced by kind permission of AP Watt Ltd on behalf of The Royal Literary Fund.

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Designed by Ruth Lee-Mui

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Millar, David

Racing through the dark : crash. burn. coming clean. coming back. / David Millar.

p. cm.

1. Millar, David, 1977 2. CyclistGreat BritainBiography. 3. Bicycle racingGreat BritainHistory. 4. CyclistsDrug useGreat Britain. I. Title.

GV1051.W66M55 2012

796.62092dc23

[B]

2012001091

ISBN 978-1-4516-8268-7

ISBN 978-1-4516-8270-0 (ebook)

To the love of three women, my mother Avril, my sister Frances, and my wife Nicole. Thank you for being so kind.

And the peloton, I treasure the small amount of time I have left with you, even though you can be so cruel.

It is very difficult to know people For men and women are not only themselves; they are also the region in which they are born, the city apartment or the farm in which they learnt to walk, the games they played as children, the old wives tales they overheard, the food they ate, the schools they attended, the sports they followed, the poets they read, and the God they believed in. It is all these things that have made them what they are, and these are the things that you cant come to know by hearsay, you can only know them if you have lived them.

W. Somerset Maugham,

The Razors Edge , 1943

The man is greater than his victories and defeats. The man is worth more than the cyclist. In the champion, beats the heart of a boy, a heart that needs normality and that cannot be sacrificed at the altar of exploitation.

Bishop Antonio Lanfranchis eulogy at the funeral of Marco Pantani