Cheryl M. Heppner - Seeds of disquiet: one deaf womans experience
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Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data
Heppner, Cheryl M., 1951 Seeds of disquiet: one deaf woman's experience / Cheryl M. Heppner. p. cm. ISBN 1-56368-016-5: 17.95 1. Heppner, Cheryl M., 1951- . 2. DeafUnited States Biography. 3. Women, DeafUnited StatesBiography. I. Title. HV2534.H43A3 1992 362.4'2'092dc20 [B] 92-9693 CIP
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American National Standard for Information Sciences--Permanence of Paper for Printed Library Materials, ANSI Z39.48-1984.
Page v
For Fred, with whom I've fallen in love five times by the last count. Your patience, good humor, caring, and ability to have fun got me through this book just like they did everything else. For Rosemary Green, Ron Heath, Tootie Campbell Rinker, Angie Papke, LaRita Jacobs, Gay Nagy, Fred Yates, Joan Cassidy, and Linda Miller, for sharing with me, pushing me, and allowing me to keep growing. For Mom and Dad: this isn't the trip around the world, but a glimpse inside mine. I hope the journey is as rewarding and that your confidence in me will be repaid. For Randy, who helped me make the great leap of faith, and for Gayle and Davida good family to rally around. And for the many friends who shaped my thinking, whose names are engraved in my mind forever, although they do not appear in this book.
Page 1
Prologue
In July 1989, I went to Washington, D.C. to attend the Deaf Way conference. It was the first international conference on Deaf culture. I had spent a week sharing experiences with persons from all over the world. Deafness was our common thread. It was exciting to be part of a conference with so many thought-provoking speakers. I had one more workshop to attend, then I'd head home to sift through what I had learned.
In the lounge of the hotel restroom, I added a layer of lipstick to the remains of an earlier one. Eyes wandering from my mirrored reflection, I scanned my surroundings. Another woman was seated in a softly-lit corner, dabbing at red-rimmed eyes.
I turned, concerned. "Are you all right?" I asked. Unsure whether she was deaf or hearing, I signed my question as I voiced it.
"I'm fine," the woman signed back. But a fresh flood of tears coursed down her cheeks.
I faced the mirror again, unconvinced but wanting to respect her privacy. Then I felt myself drawn back.
Four steps brought me to the woman. "No, you're not all right," I told her. Kneeling, I hugged her with all the strength and kindness remembered from other people, other hugs.
Page 2
We talked for a few minutes, minutes that sped us across lifespans, transcending everything. She was from Michigan. Her hearing, never perfect, had begun to deteriorate during the past few years. As she'd tried to adjust to the loss, her marriage to a hearing man had ended. She'd met a deaf man who offered her acceptance and caring. She was beginning to hope that happiness was within reach. But her life was changing rapidly, and the changes frightened her. She wanted desperately to share her fears with someone who would understand.
I was that person. So much of what she said had happened to me. I listened and gave what comfort I could from the patchwork of my experiences. In those moments we created our own private, intense global-warming trend. Two friends had found each other.
Then we were separated in a mad rush of bodies as people crowded the hotel hallway. I never knew her name. She left my life as abruptly as she entered, leaving feelings that would not go away. Two weeks later, I began to write this book.
I have met so many people who became deaf and struggled to understand their feelings! Not so long ago, I was one of them, and often, still, I am a seeker too.
Deafness changed my life at the age of six and forced me to begin a long struggle for respect and understanding. I've read books by the bagful about deafness, many of them written with great sensitivity by parents, family members, and professionals. But we who are deaf have only recently begun to talk about many of the things that trouble us.
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