Rachel Williams - The Devil At Home

Rachel Williams is a survivor of over 18 years of domestic abuse at the hands of her ex-husband. Now an active campaigner, she is the ambassador for Welsh Womens Aid and Llanelli Womens Aid, as well as a pioneer for Safelives. She lives in South Wales with her husband Mike, and this is her first book.

He pushed open the door, and I saw that he was pulling something out of the bag he was carrying. It was a gun a sawn-off shotgun.

Darren was funny and attractive, and 21-year-old Rachel fell head-over-heels for him. But his inner demons soon surfaced. Weakened and alone, Rachel was beaten and tormented by him for 18 years, until one day, Darren turned up at her place of work with a shotgun and left her for dead. But her ordeal wasnt over yet Devastating yet inspiring, Rachels story of hope tells of how you can always find the light, even in the very darkest of times.

I would like to dedicate this book to my sons. First to my darling younger boy Jack, who I know is shining down on me and giving me the strength and courage to fight on to raise public awareness of domestic abuse. Then to my elder son Josh, who has shown tremendous courage, wisdom and resilience throughout these tragic events. Josh, I am so proud of the person you have become. You have not let 19 August 2011, and the aftermath of that day, rob you of your life. We have got through this together.

Then I would like to acknowledge the help, love and support I have had, and continue to have, from family and friends, old and new.

Thank you also to Ellie Piovesana, for helping me to find the right words to tell my story.

Most importantly, I would like to thank God, for without him this would not be possible. He not only saved my life and gave me a second go at it, but he has given me grace to forgive those that need forgiving, and the strength and courage to move forward with my life. He has also given me a wonderful man who has come into my life and stood by me through it all. He has been my shoulder to cry on, scream and shout at and, most importantly, he has shown me what love is.

Thank you all for being part of my journey. I love you all.

The story you are holding in your hands is shocking. It shouldnt exist. It should never be allowed to happen to anyone. And we all share responsibility.

At the same time, Rachels story is transformative. It is life-changing. Not just for Rachel herself but, potentially, for the thousands upon thousands of people whose lives are affected by domestic violence and abuse every day in this country. Those who suffer it directly or indirectly, and those who perpetrate it. And, perhaps most importantly, for our whole society.

Because this is a story of a society that is getting it wrong. Rachel describes it as an epidemic and the figures suggest she is right. Domestic violence is not something we find easy to talk about and understandably so. It reveals aspects of our society and ourselves that wed prefer not to face or acknowledge. But not having the courage to look at who we really are and what is really going on in too many of our families and relationships only serves those who are violent and controlling. It leaves those who are on the receiving end of it isolated and unprotected.

As Rachels story shows, people who are suffering such horrendous experiences display almost unimaginable levels of strength and courage to survive and come through to the other side. We must all do whatever we can as a society to support people like Rachel on that journey. Too often, though, our institutions and systems are letting us down in doing that, compounding the problems rather than serving the needs of the vulnerable. Not necessarily by design but often through lack of awareness or outdated systemic responses, people who need real help are given obstacles instead of support. All the more reason to make sure that this story is heard, that the true scale of the issue is reckoned with and our task of re-imagining an effective response is faced up to and implemented.

Rachel is incredibly brave in sharing her story with such honesty and directness. Not only here in this book but also constantly putting herself out there in the media, on social media and in her various ambassador roles to keep pushing for change. Telling her story will undoubtedly save lives and I hope will provide a major step towards the societal transformation we so desperately require.

As I said at the beginning, this story is a shocking one. It lays bare one of the darkest moments of Rachels life and I honestly dont know how I or anyone I know would ever cope with such horrific events. But Rachel and her story are so much more than that. Ive had the great pleasure to meet and talk with Rachel on many occasions and it is her generosity, her determination and her optimism that shine through more than anything. This is a story full of hope and strength. Rachel has found a way to turn the horror and the loss of her darkest times into a call for change. She is fighting every day to make things better, to give support where it is needed and to draw attention to where we are letting people down who most need our help.

No one is better suited to this mighty task than the extraordinary woman whose story you have in your hands but we must all look to what we can each do to aid her in this struggle.

We must show a small drop of that courage that Rachel and others like her have shown, dare to face ourselves and what we allow, and then work together to create the change.

Michael Sheen

Its bedtime, Im two years old and my favourite person in the whole world is tucking me into a bottom bunk. Its my big strong grandad or Grancha, as I called him and hes singing to me lovingly, trying to soothe me to sleep. Go to sleep, my baby, shut your big brown eyes

This is my earliest memory, living on Cyril Street in Newport, Wales, with my mums parents Grancha and my hilarious nanna Dolly. I adored them both and they absolutely doted on me. I lived with my grandparents because my mum Avril, who slept above me on the top bunk, was just a kid herself when she had me.

To say I was a surprise would be a bit of an understatement. When she fell pregnant at 17, Mum was so terrified of disappointing her father she kept the whole pregnancy a secret. For the whole nine months, no one in the family had the slightest clue I was on the way until the day I was born. When I arrived kicking and screaming on 10 February 1972, it was a huge shock to the family and no doubt the talk of the town. But Mum stood her ground. She wanted me, so everyone pulled together to support her and give me the best possible start they could.

I was still a toddler when my mum and dad Ray got their own house on Bishton Street. It was number 33 and less than two minutes walk from Nanna and Granchas, which was perfect for everyone. The house needed a bit of work, but Grancha was only too happy to roll up his sleeves and help knock it into shape. His father had been a real handyman, making built-in wardrobes before the rest of the world even knew what they were. Now Grancha was the one who could turn his hand to any and every type of DIY. He had the most incredible shed and whenever he went out there I wouldnt be far behind him, eager for a mooch around his treasure trove. I was obsessed! I loved looking at the tools and messing about with all the noisy little tins full of different nuts and bolts. Other girls my age were into pretty pink dresses and dollies in pushchairs. I was the chubby tomboy hanging out down the shed wearing Granchas flat cap.

We were an incredibly close-knit family and I was so lucky that Nanna and Grancha were always around to help out. When I started nursery, they would take it in turns to walk me over George Street Bridge and hug me goodbye at the gate. I never cried when I was dropped off I was the one marching inside and getting on with things. In the area where we hung our coats up we had a locker each with our own toothbrush and flannel inside.