Kevin OMalley - Nabbing Historys Most Wanted

Born: c. 1412

Domrmy, France

Died: May 30, 1431

Rouen, France

19 years old

Joan of Arc is like the kind of friend you cant stand, but when you need her for something important, shes there at the rescue. It just so happened that when Joan was alive, France needed to be saved from invaders. She showed up and led the French army when she was only seventeen years old, at a time when girls were barely allowed to do more than peek out a tower window or feed a goat. Joan seemed like a regular teenager until she started hearing voices in her head. She believed she heard angels telling her to rescue France. So she did. But when Joan was caught by the enemy and burned at the stake, nobody came to her rescue.

Joan was believed to have been born in 1412; this was the Middle Ages, which meant that there wasnt so much as a book, a toilet, or a lightbulb. Castles had moats, and the Catholic religion controlled everything. Joan lived next door to a church. Her reaction to the ding-donging church bell was the first indication Joan had a problem with self-control. A late-ringing church bell was enough to ruin her day, so shed yell at the bell ringer if he rang the bell just a few minutes behind schedule. Praying was her favorite pastime, and even the priest thought Joan came to confession too often. Especially since her only sin was sneaking into the woods to be alone. Otherwise, like all peasant girls, Joan was put to work hoeing, fetching, and plucking, which shed be expected to do without any chance of advancement until the day she died. At thirteen, when Joan started hearing voices no one else heard, she dropped her friends and became a lonerbecause the voices in her head were company enough. After two years, Joan finally understood what the voices were getting at: they wanted her to save France.

France needed all the help it could get. Besides plagues and famines, France had endured Englands invasions for seventy-five years. Charles VII, the French king, hadnt been officially crowned, because the English king Henry VI had claimed the throne. The French believed God was punishing them, but they also believed the prediction (prophecy) that theyd be saved by a maiden, the old-maid kindas in no boyfriends, ever.

Knowing the position was up for grabs, Joan started calling herself Joan the Maid. Then Joan needed to travel twelve miles to present herself to the French military leaders, but girls couldnt traipse off alone. Joan pestered an uncle to take her to a French captain, and she told the captain that God had given her two tasks: run the English out of the city of Orlans, and get Frances uncrowned king crowned already.

But Joans fulfilling her mission was as unlikely as a girl today playing quarterback at the Super Bowl. The only reason anyone would even consider such a tall order from a sixteen-year-old girl was that everyone lived and dreamed in superstitions, and they all believed the maiden prophecy was an actual thing.

Before they would listen to her, though, religious leaders tested Joan to make sure she was the maiden theyd been waiting for. What language do your voices speak?

A better tongue than you do.

Were they all of the same appearance?

Some had wings or were crowned.

Good enough.

When she went to meet Charles, her would-be king, everyone expected Joan to dress up and look pretty, but she put on mens clothes and got a mans haircut instead. That kind of gender-bending attire could get a person killed back then. Churchmen tried to exorcise the evil spirits they thought were inside her, but she still wouldnt change her clothes.