Bruno Tonioli - My Story

Copyright 2012 Bruno Tonioli

The right of Bruno Tonioli to be identified as the Author of the Work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

Apart from any use permitted under UK copyright law, this publication may only be reproduced, stored, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.

First published as an Ebook by Headline Publishing Group in 2012

Every effort has been made to fulfil requirements with regard to reproducing copyright material. The author and publisher will be glad to rectify any omissions at the earliest opportunity.

Cataloguing in Publication Data is available from the British Library

eISBN : 978 0 7553 6410 7

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Contents

About the Author

Bruno Tonioli was born in Ferrara in northern Italy in 1955. He began his professional career as a dancer and came to London as a leading member of the Paris-based company La Grande Eugene before joining the Lyndsay Kemp Company. He has worked extensively in film, theatre and TV and also in the music business, choreographing videos, stage shows and tours for many artists including Tina Turner, Sting, Elton John, The Rolling Stones, Freddie Mercury, Boy George and Duran Duran. His TV credits include Not the Nine OClock News, Absolutely Fabulous, French & Saunders, The Brit Awards, Top of the Pops and The Royal Variety Show , and his film credits include Ella Enchanted and Little Voice . Since 2004, Bruno has been a judge on BBC Ones smash show Strictly Come Dancing ; since 2005 he has also been a judge on ABCs equally successful show Dancing With the Stars in the USA. He lives in London and Los Angeles.

Matt Allen is an award-winning music and football writer whose work has appeared in Q, FourFourTwo, Mojo and the Guardian amongst others. He has co-authored several Sunday Times bestsellers, including Jeff Stellings Jelleymans Thrown a Wobbly and Paul Mersons How Not to Be a Professional Footballer , which was nominated for Best Autobiography at the 2012 British Sports Book Awards.

I dedicate this book to the memory of my parents

and Michael Summerton.

Wish you were here.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the long list of people who have kept me working in this wonderful industry for nearly forty years. There are so many of you around the world that I would run out of paper if I namechecked you all. A special thank you goes to the team behind the creation of Strictly Come Dancing and Dancing With The Stars at the BBC, BBC Worldwide and ABC for taking a chance on me and changing my life.

Thank you to Paul Stevens and Laura Hill at Independent Talent and to Jonathan Taylor and his team at Headline for all their support and encouragement in the making of this book.

INTRODUCTION

FANTASIA

Hollywood, 2012. It was in the Paramount Studios, Los Angeles, where I first made my mark on the silver screen. I, Bruno Tonioli, was announcing my arrival as an actor in Hollywood the pinnacle for any performer of ambition and a playground stage for the crme de la crme of thespianism. (Its my made-up word and I like it.) In the grand Studio 16 building, a shooting location for the golden-age movie Sunset Boulevard , I was surrounded by actors, make-up girls, camera crews, a fearsome-looking director and tonnes and tonnes of stardust. Oh my god: heaven .

Of course, this wasnt my first Rumba with razzmatazz. As you know, Ive been a judge on the Saturday night variety show sensation Strictly Come Dancing for nearly a decade now. From the sanctuary of a judging panel its been my job, alongside fellow experts Craig Revel Horwood, Arlene Phillips, Alesha Dixon and Len Goodman, not to mention the doyen of show business himself Sir Bruce Forsyth, to watch as countless celebrities have shimmied and strutted their wobbly bottoms and bingo wings across the nations TV screens. Meanwhile, in America, Ive done a similar job on Dancing With the Stars , where the levels of dazzlement, excitement and ineptitude among our contestants have been equally unsettling and bewildering.

Anyway, I was well versed in working on televisual extravaganzas by the time my Hollywood acting debut arrived. I was ready that was the good news. The bad news involved my role, because somewhat embarrassingly for me I hadnt been earmarked for a villainous cameo in the new Bond saga. Nor was I set for a singing and dancing part in Mission Impossible 5: The Musical . No, for my entrance on the grand stage of Tinsel Town, I would be making an advert for a well-known fruit drink. And what would I have to do in order to wow my audience, I wondered out loud?

Bruno, were dressing you up like a mariachi singer and trussing you up like a sausage on that crane there, said my director for the day, the legendarily antagonistic advertising Midas, Paul Weiland, as he pointed first to the assistant holding a sparkly jacket and some maracas, then to the large winch device which loomed over me in the studio like a mechanical T-Rex.

My heart sank, but deep down I knew it had been my own fault. When Paul first asked me to do the advert, I had agreed, with the proviso that I was allowed to sing. Once he had relented, I became so excited at my musical role that I completely forgot to look at the storyboard, so I had no idea that I would have to shake my stuff, suspended, in a harness that belonged in Fifty Shades of Grey . I was also unaware that, with the help of some video trickery, I was to be shrunk to the size of a jar of mustard because my miniaturised figure was going to be performing from the inside of a fridge.

However, as youll soon discover, Ive never been one to turn down a challenge, so I dressed up in my frilly uniform, climbed into the extremely uncomfortable harness, grabbed my props and proceeded to do one of the first of many uncomfortable dance routines.

Now, Bruno, I want you to spin around like a whirling dervish, shouted Paul, getting his camera crew into position.

Thats fine, I said. But youd better catch me if I topple over.

The response was reassuring. Dont worry, Bruno. Ill be here to break your fall, he said, readying himself like a removal man awaiting a sofa of considerable heft. The cheek .

On his cue, I began twirling and spinning, pirouetting and twisting, until I collapsed to the floor with a crash. I yelled in pain. Paul had neglected to break my fall. My knees were throbbing, the palms of my hands stung like fury and my dignity was in ruins. When I looked up, everybody was laughing their heads off.

You were supposed to bloody catch me! I screamed at Paul, picking myself up.

I thought about it for a second, he wheezed. But then I realised you would be too heavy.

Well, thats when my brain started to burn, my ears began to steam. I was overheating with rage, which is a very bad thing. I let fly with a volley of expletives and four-letter words so foul it would have embarrassed a trucker.

*******! I screamed.

Paul was falling around in hysterics, which made me even more furious and I let fly with another barrage of abuse.

You ******* ****!

You *******

You pillock!

It was at that moment that Paul grabbed me by the arm and gesticulated to the stunned faces alongside him a five-year-old boy and a man waring a sharp suit and a look of bemusement. He was clearly a high-flying executive.

Bruno, said Paul, the smirk still spread across his chops. Meet the client... and the clients son.