Jane McDonald - Unsinkable: My Story

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Virgin Books, an imprint of Ebury Publishing,
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Virgin Books is part of the Penguin Random House group of companies whose addresses can be found at global.penguinrandomhouse.com.

Copyright Jane McDonald Limited 2019

Cover design: Two Associates
Cover Credit: Ellis Parrinder

Jane McDonald has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this Work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988

First published by Virgin Books in 2019

penguin.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 9780753554357

For my amazing mum words will never be enough. I miss you so much.

Also, to everyone who has been a part of my life, good and not so good, I thank you all. Ive loved and learned from everyone.

Im lying in my cabin on the high seas when the ships horn sounds. I wasnt expecting that. Hopefully, it doesnt mean anything sinister, like a collision ahead. Im being silly now. Im tucked up in my cosy bed, tired but happy. The ships motion is soothing. Through my porthole I can see the moon shining in the darkness, casting a silvery light across the waves. Its been a long day of filming and now Im ready to drift off. But I cant sleep, Im too excited. My mind is miles away in Wakefield.

Sometimes I cant believe how lucky I am. Even though Ive been in show business for 20 years now, I still have to pinch myself. I mean, whod have thought Id have two primetime TV shows and a sold-out tour at my time of life? Its an incredible position to be in and I never stop counting my blessings.

Weve had a lot of fun filming, these past few weeks. Everyone knows I love a cruise and the latest programmes in my Channel 5 Cruising with Jane McDonald series have taken me to some beautiful places. But now that were about to wrap in October 2019 and Im shifting my focus on to the tour, Im starting to feel giddy with excitement. Ive been getting emails from my band and crew, saying, Cant wait to get on that bus!

And me, I keep replying. Brass knobs an all!

Theres nothing like that first moment we get on board our huge, gleaming tour bus. Fourteen people yelling, Whee, here we go! as we step through the door, one by one. Its like were going on holiday together.

Its such a special group of people, too, from the crew up. Were an eclectic bunch, but were all really good mates, all family people, all having a blast, which makes our tour bus the most uplifting place in the world. Theres always something going on the laughter never stops and the banter and the good times flow with us onto the stage. Well be up there during the show, smiling at each other and remembering the laughs we had the night before, and all the fun were having comes across to the audience and flows back to us again. Its addictive, for us and for them; its a joy. Were a little tour family and everyone wants to be a part of it.

I cant wait, because everything about this tour is going to be stratospheric. Its going to be the best thing Ive ever, ever done. Weve got every aspect covered: the venues are booked, the stage set designed, the tickets sold, the posters up and, best of all, Ive got the most wonderful fans in the world coming to see me perform, from all over the country.

My musicians are the best in the business, the band is tighter than ever and my backing singers are fantastic. Weve rehearsed a new medley to get everybody up and dancing and Ill be singing some big, big numbers: Im doing The Greatest Showman, Im doing Queen; Im doing songs that I would never have challenged myself to sing before. Its going to look incredible, too: weve got our own dedicated lighting guy and hes an artist in his own right; and Kay Heeley, who makes my gowns, has surpassed herself for this tour. (Also, no one has seen it yet, but Ive bought something special to wear during the last section of the show. It was unbelievably expensive, but its just going to look amazing all crystals, sparkle and shine.)

Touring used to be quite tough, but its so much easier now weve got the tour bus. It was my tour manager, Martin Hudson, who suggested it. Hes brilliant, is Martin he fixes everything. I said, I need a fridge and a microwave, I need a bed I can sleep in, and he came up with the perfect solution.

Long ago, my dad and I used to rattle across the Pennines in an old van, battling through all weathers to get to my next working mens club gig, so I cant help smiling when I think of how hed react if he looked inside our spanking new home on wheels. It would knock his socks off to see that it has beds for everyone upstairs and its own little kitchen and sitting area downstairs. Its got air conditioning and smooth suspension; it doesnt rattle, it hums.

I think hed be most impressed by the inbuilt satnav, though. He was always screeching to a halt in the middle of some out-of-the-way village high street so I could wind down my window and frantically ask for directions to a club before we pulled off in a flurry of beeping horns, none the wiser, exhaust pipe clanging at the rear. Theres none of that anymore, no fuss and bother leading up to a turn, and the cherry on top is that I can have tea and toast when I want and hot meals when Im hungry.

Weve always got a fridge full of stuff: I stack it up with all sorts of things before we set out; I go to my local farm store and get sausage rolls, cheese-and-onion rolls, fabulous bread, vegetarian pt, avocados and wine. I make a big bowl of salad and veg every day and everybodys welcome to it. Weve got a couple of vegetarians on the bus, so theres lots of cheese and salad; theres always some food going on somewhere.

The bus is my safe haven in every way; its my home from home. I have my own private area and my own little door; I have my cases with me and I always take my own pillow. So, instead of waiting up with my eyes on stalks until we get to our next scheduled hotel stop in the dead of night, I can go to bed when Im tired and stay there all day long if I need to. What a revelation! It has completely transformed my life on tour.

Im very cosy on the bus and wear tactile fabrics, because onstage Im dressed to the nines in sequins and lashes. Ive usually got a nice velour tracksuit on, or my pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers. I do love my slippers! We each have our own customised ear plugs that we put in of a night, so if theres someone who snores, we can sleep in peace. Youve got to think of these things, havent you? That was Martin, again: when we had individual moulds done for the in-ear monitors we wear onstage, he said, Why dont we have ear plugs made at the same time?

Its great: you put your eye shades on and your ear plugs in and youre out for the count. Its the best sleep we ever have.

Theres a party atmosphere on the bus on the first weekend back. After the first show, everybody is high-fiving each other and the alcohol comes out. You cant go straight to bed when youve given a show and brought the crowd to their feet theres so much adrenaline pumping that you need to take time to wind down. So, the first night or so well probably stay up and celebrate with a bevvy or two. Well catch up with each others news and talk shop. Then, as the tour goes along, the partying tends to tail off and people start going to bed earlier and earlier. Theyll get on the bus, have one beer, say, Right, Im off to bed now. And Ill just have a cuppa, because I hardly drink these days, especially when Im touring. Now and again I do like to have a drink. Not very often, but I like to have a glass of wine.