Betty Dodson - Sex by Design: The Betty Dodson Story

Besides my family who shaped me and a sex positive sisterhood to sustain me, I want to acknowledge Grant Taylor the most intense love/hate affair of my lifetime that began in 1965 and lasted until he died in 2008. His inquisitive mind, love of sex and a lifetime of reading every book ever written about sex changed my life in many ways. I believed I was genitally deformed until he showed me images of other womens genitals in his sixties Girlie magazines when they had a variety unlike the porn today. Once I realized I was normal, I developed vulva pride. He also combined clitoral stimulation during intercourse that ended my struggle to have those damn elusive vaginal orgasms. His adventurous open mind allowed us to share an abundance of sexual experiences that would have undone a more traditional man. I will always cherish what he taught me, what we learned together and that he convinced me I could write. I regret hes not here to share the fruits of our labors and Im grateful that hes left the planet. I miss loving and hating him passionately with every passing year. Ours was a different kind of love story.

Also I want to thank my current business partner Carlin Ross. Without her this book would still be in the closet due to my inability to release it until it was perfect (every artists dilemma). Perfection is a myth but striving for it is a valid endeavor. She tricked me by saying an e-book is a work in progress. Since Ive entered by eighty seventh year, Im pretty sure this version will be the last one. Meanwhile, Carlin embodies much of my sexual philosophy. I honor her intelligence, beauty, love of sex and her Internet smarts. Ours is yet another kind of love story, a friendship grounded in a mutual dedication to establishing a sex positive feminist sisterhood that not only will, but one that is changing womankind and the world at large. Join us at www.dodsonandross.com. I thank the many people who worked with me over the years to create and distribute my books and videos. Bill and K.T. Eger, Harriet Lyons, Ms. Magazine, Sheila Shea, Caryle Launer, Andrew Rock, Jorjana Kellaway, Linda Colonna, Amy Black, Debbie Reed, Marianna Beck, Jack Hafferkamp, Alex Bruskin. Bodysex assistants were Sheila Shea, Samantha Miller, Mary Guarino, Stephanie Wadell, Josi Mariposa, Arlene Frankel, Myrtis Mixon, and now Carlin Ross.

Finally, a very special acknowledgement goes to my mother, Bess Crowe Dodson. She escaped the brainwashing of religious beliefs as well as a formal education so her native intelligence was never damaged. As a result, she believed masturbation was a natural activity for children because it had also been part of her childhood. Therefore I was never threatened or punished for this natural sexual activity which allowed me to be more easily orgasmic as an adult. Words cant describe my good fortune of being raised by an orgasmic mother who was also an atheist as was my father; a dynamic that supported the separation between Church and State which enabled me to get beyond Americas puritanical attitude toward human sexuality.

As a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a famous fashion illustrator long before Id ever seen the great Italian Renaissance painters who inspired me to master drawing the nude. Throughout my early years into adulthood, my search for artistic expression was supported by family, friends and society at large. Everyone approves of art and creative artists are admired or even revered by people from all walks of life.

Years later, when I began to search for new forms of sexual expression, only a handful of friends understood. Most people warned me against taking this path. if I stepped outside societys norm of serial monogamy, I would be socially ostracized and labeled a slut. That wasnt fair I reasoned; if a man could be a bachelor enjoying his sexual adventures, why not a woman? At the age of 36, I had a modest settlement from my divorce that would pay the bills for a year. I began taking yoga classes, eating more consciously and I no longer drank alcohol. In the past Id often used booze to overcome my inhibitions whenever I had sex with a new partner.

Single, solvent and sober it was the perfect time to challenge societys sexual double standard: the unspoken agreement that men have social approval to enjoy multiple partners while women are expected to have sex with only one man at a time. After five years of formal art training and ten years of being a professional artist, I knew the creative process was about defying convention and seeking my own vision. It seemed reasonable then, that I would learn about sex the same way I would defy convention and seek my own vision through sexual experiences then draw my own conclusions.

underway by the early seventies. But instead of creating more sexual choices, the feminist media stars and academics clung to the same old romantic love story of finding true love, getting married, having a family followed by struggling to balance a career. My dream of a united sexual liberation front never happened. Women who embraced sexual diversity were drowned out by conservative voices of those who were victims of the Romantic Love Wars. They steadfastly believed a monogamous marriage was the most acceptable lifestyle. Instead of experimenting and designing alternative sex styles, most feminists blamed Patriarchy for womens unhappiness. Many seemed blind to the potential power of the Matriarchy. Meanwhile mothers still have the power to change the way society defines sex in one generation by altering the messages they give their daughters and sons.