David Pevsner - Damn Shame - A Memoir of Desire, Defiance, and Show Tunes

To my sisters, Janet Pevsner and Linda Margolis, I only talk about the difficult moments I had with you, but it wasnt always that way growing up. And as adults, we get along great. You are both spectacular and supportive, and I love you. And Michael Margolis, Linda hit the jackpot with you.

To Ari and Rachel Margolis, Lori and Adam Barbag, Brian and Shana Margolis, and all the kidlets: Laila, Adaya, Eliora, Derek, Josh, Benji, Maya, and Sadie, I am a proud guncle and grand guncle, and I love having you all in my life. I sure hope you feel the same.

To Scott Sellers, wellthere would be no published book without you. You always dream youll find someone so supportive, so as-one in their thinking, who really gets you and your work, but who will also push you to dig deeper and go beyond the text to get to the real truth. It wasnt always easy, but when you trust someone as much as I trust you, you know you can leap and the words and the story will catch you. I got lucky with you, Scott. A gazillion thanks.

To Anne Collins and Sue Kuruvilla of Random House Canada, I cant thank you enough for throwing your support behind my story, and seeing beyond any sensationalism to the heart beating underneath.

To Andy Baseman. Oh, Mr. Hole. Weve sure been through it together, all these years. Even though were officially old, we can still have BFFs and you are mine.

To Paul Zappala, my late roomie and first writing partner. I miss you every day.

To Anne Allgood, Randy Brenner, Melissa Josephs, Nic Arnzen, Molly OLeary, Steve Callahan, Matt Montgomery, Jim Bullock, Jennifer Lynch, Demian Wyma, Mark Dashnaw, Patrick Baca, Jennifer Prescott, Brian dArcy James, Rob Marshall, Dan Shaheen, Barry Kramer, Robbin Slade, Jay Corcoran, Debbie Pollack, Suzie Ritter, Kent Gash, Jordan Thaler, Jeremy Mann, Jeff Calhoun, John Scherer, Mary Moran, my Corpus Christi family, the When Pigs Fly guys, and anyone I may have missedalways supportive in so many ways over the years, but most importantlyall funny. I have funny friends.

And speaking of funny, to the late Ted Bales, who after listening to us bitch and moan about the producers of Party, took a huge drag off his cigarette (when you could still smoke in the dressing room) and said, Honey, they dont call it show fun. That little tidbit of wisdom has stayed with me over the years and I have found it intensely helpful, along with his other gem, Funny always wins. Yes, it does.

To Mark Saltzman for giving my shows a home to work them out.

To Karen Berry for suggesting I turn my story into a book. At the time, I vehemently said no, impossible, forget it, dont know how, dont want to. Well, here it is. Thanks, doll.

To Norman Buckley and Kim Powers, who got me on the way to telling my story way back when.

To Steve Bolerjack for being the first to assure me this book has resonance beyond myself, and for starting me on the road to a publishable manuscript. There were lots of red marks for my run-on sentences and questionable punctuation, and though it was sometimes maddening, it was also greatly appreciated.

To Mark Smith, Glenn Hughes, and Stella Alex for sticking by me professionally, even while knowing about my Internet presence.

To Connie Silver, Lee Kassan, Connie Wynne, and Randy Smith, all terrific and supportive therapistsunlike the first guy.

To Mitchell Kinn and all the LGBTQ youth who are out there trying to live their lives authentically and without fear, you so inspire me. Stay strong. We older LGBTQ folks have your backs.

To Jerry Proffit, my high school drama teacher who gave me a chance to express myself on the great stage after the mean girls shut me down.

To Carnegie Mellon University and the faculty there, thanks a lot for the homophobia and for bolstering my lack of confidence and low self-esteem. I had to fight that every day of my life post-college, and though it has always weighed on me, it also gave me a reason to keep fighting to be creative and get your voices the fuck out of my head.

On the other hand, to Carole DAndrea, who gave me the shot of confidence I needed to act and sing when it was all breaking down. Your class was a safe and creative haven to develop my work as both actor and writer. Carole, I have so much love and appreciation for you and your work on behalf of all your students. Thank you.

For Sheldon Pevsner, my late dad: even though you were the quiet one, I never doubted you loved me and I hope you know that I love you always.

And Marcia. Oh, Marcia. Mommy. Mom. When you told a story, you had us rapt, usually laughing, most often left to muse on your wisdom. And you were always maddeningly right, goddamnit. My friends loved you and Dad, sometimes more than I did when you had to be parents, and you had so many loyal friends who stayed in your life for eons. If Im at all clear in telling a story, its because of you. I dont think you liked a lot of my subject matter, but you knew I had to be me. Mommy, Dad. I miss you both so much.

David Pevsner is an LA-based actor and writer, with a little modeling on the side. His film appearances include Scrooge & Marley (as Ebenezer Scrooge), Spa Night, Joshua Tree 1951: A Portrait of James Dean, Role/Play, and Corpus Christi: Playing with Redemption. His guest starring roles on television include Silicon Valley, NCIS, Im Dying Up Here, Modern Family, Greys Anatomy, Liz and Dick, Law and Order LA, and he starred in the popular web series Old Dogs and New Tricks.

David has had a diverse stage acting career, from regional theatres to Broadway. As a songwriter, his work has been featured in the global hit show Naked Boys Singing!, his CD of original comedy songs Most Versatile, and his two one man musicals, including Musical Comedy Whore! which is currently streaming and available on DVD. He continues his anti-shame, anti-ageism, and pro-nudity and sexuality mission with his work in erotic photos, videos, and writings. He also helps people unclutter their lives and environments through his personal organization business Address the Mess.