Praise for
Stories I Might Regret Telling You
With disarming candor and courage, Martha tells us of finding her own voice (one, in my opinion, without peer) and peace as a working artist and mother. Her story is made more unique because of the remarkably gifted musical family she was born into.
Emmylou Harris
What a wonderful gift this book is! Martha Wainwright has opened the doors and let us into the fabled, glamorous family that is the McGarrigle-Wainwrights. The ups and downs of a family that lives on the stage are shown in all their backstage squalor, and they are even more magical and cruel than one could possibly imagine. Martha shows us what it is like to be the black sheep of the family, the glorious, earnest underachiever who has always been the most loveable of the bunch. Her warm, rich writing displays the same oversharing sweetness that her songwriting possesses; at the same time, its filled with the humor, panache, and gutsy feminism of her live performances. Martha Wainwright was born in a circus and shows us the great, absurd expectations that come with that birthright. But even more, this book offers a portrait of a modern, blended family that will make you understand and forgive yours. Wainwright shows how a big, dysfunctional brood can be a blessing, filled with surprising gifts that make the heart grow bigger. A surprising and brilliantly relatable book.
Heather ONeill, bestselling author of The Lonely Hearts Hotel
A beautiful and clear-eyed memoir, full of music, friendship, love, and heartache. Somehow at once sizzling and wise, as undeniable as the singer who wrote it.
Sean Michaels, Scotiabank Giller Prize-winning novelist and founder of Said the Gramophone
I have been listening to Martha Wainwright for at least twenty years, admiring her from afar. Her new memoir, Stories I Might Regret Telling You, made me feel like I was sitting in a corner of one of her New York apartments, reading her private diaries under a blanket with a flashlight. Martha writes like a soldier in the trenches sending word home, not knowing whether she will live or die, bringing uncomfortable, sometimes unbearable, honesty to bear. I was sucked in from the first page, though occasionally I winced because it was all so relatable. A casual sadness strings itself through her story of becoming herself, taking no prisoners, casting regret aside like a cigarette. I kept rereading certain sentences, thinking they would make such wonderful songs. This entire memoir is a song.
I turned the last page and felt like I had made a new friend, the kind you wish you were cool enough to have but never had the courage to pursue. My only disappointment? Her memoir wasnt long enough. I cant wait for volume two.
Jann Arden
PUBLISHED BY RANDOM HOUSE CANADA
Copyright 2022 Martha Wainwright
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Published in 2022 by Random House Canada, a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited, Toronto, and simultaneously in the United States of America by Hachette Book Group, New York. Distributed in Canada by Penguin Random House Canada Limited, Toronto.
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Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication
Title: Stories I might regret telling you / Martha Wainwright.
Names: Wainwright, Martha, 1976- author.
Identifiers: Canadiana (print) 2021025663X | Canadiana (ebook) 20210256753 | ISBN 9780345815088 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780345815101 (EPUB)
Subjects: LCSH: Wainwright, Martha, 1976- | LCSH: SingersCanadaBiography. | LCSH: Women singersCanadaBiography. | LCSH: ComposersCanadaBiography. | LCSH: Women composersCanadaBiography. | LCGFT: Autobiographies.
Classification: LCC ML420.W142 A3 2022 | DDC 782.42164092dc23
Cover design: Amanda Kain
Cover photograph: Carl Lessard
Cover copyright: 2022 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Interior design: Abby Reilly, adapted for ebook
a_prh_6.0_139653424_c0_r0
To my dad and his sister Teddy,
born Martha Taylor Wainwright,
19472020
Contents
One
I was born Martha Gabrielle Wainwright in New York State in 1976. My mother, Kate McGarrigle, and my father, Loudon Wainwright III, loved meor at least they grew to love me. Loudon told me when I was a teenager that he didnt want me at first and pressured my mother to have an abortion. My mom freaked out just as the procedure was about to start, though, and the doctor spoke up. He was concerned for her and he pointed out that Loudon and Kate were married, had some degree of financial stability, and had one child already, my brother, Rufus. Maybe not the best reasons to bring a child into the world, but Im glad the doctor opened his mouth.
I was surprised when Loudon told me this story, and it also hurt my feelings. I had always felt a little out of place in the world, and knowing that Id only just barely made the cut didnt help matters any. Perhaps he should never have told me. I dont think my mom would have. When I asked her about it, she said that he had given her an ultimatum. Something like the baby and me or else the baby and the career but not all three. I never understood why exactly, but perhaps Dad felt threatened by her remarkable talent and didnt like the attention she was getting from record labels at the time. My mother was beguiling and a force of nature and maybe it was all too much for him. I suppose I could ask him about it again, but I dont want to. Kate is not around to hear his answer, and anything he says may be the truth as he sees it but will not be the whole story.
My parents separated anyway, only months after my birth, and my mother carried me and my brother back to her native Montreal. Decades later, I had to navigate a bad divorce myself, and found that being able to explain or express in an exact way how things go wrong is impossible. Their marriage, like mine, was rocky, and now I understand, better than when I was a teenager, why I almost wasnt born.
Montreal is where I grew up, but my brother and I would visit our father and his side of the family in New York three or four times a year and over the summer holidays. We would travel on Eastern Air Lines with our names hung around our necks, chaperoned by what was still referred to as a stewardess. Other times, Kate drove us down, along the Taconic State Parkway.
We spent some of those summer visits on Shelter Island at the eastern tip of Long Island. I always felt like an island myself, and Rufus and I spoke French to each other sometimes so as not to be understood by our father. I have spent my life traveling between these two cities, New York and Montreal, and have never felt fully at home in either, which has suited me fine because I was taught to be an outsider. An outsider with a ferociously close family.