Vicki Courtney - Ever After: Life Lessons Learned in My Castle of Chaos

Ever After, Digital Edition

Based on Print Edition

Copyright 2013 by Vicki Courtney

All rights reserved.

Printed in the United States of America

978-0-8054-4987-7

Published by B&H Publishing Group

Nashville, Tennessee

Dewey Decimal Classification: 248.843

Subject Heading: MOTHERHOOD \ MARRIAGE \ WOMEN

Author is represented by Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, CO 80920.

Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from the New International Version, copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Also used: Holman Christian Standard Bible ( hcsb ), copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission.

Also used: English Standard Version ( esv ), copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Also used: New Living Translation ( nlt ), Copyright 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

To Keith

I was the little girl who wholeheartedly believed the fairy tales when they said that someday, my prince would come. What I love best about our story is that you showed up on the same exact day I met my one, true Prince Jesus Christ. You were there for that moment and witnessed the first page being turned in a new chapter of my life. From that day forward, you have been faithful to point me in His directionto the only one who could truly complete me. What a blessed girl I am.

Contents

Acknowledgments

K eith, I often wonder if you had been given a tiny glimpse of what exactly you were signing up for on that day we stood at the altar about twenty-five years ago and exchanged I dos, if you would have run for the hills and never looked back. Wow, what an adventure. And a good one, at that. Thank you for allowing me to talk about our fairy tale in a very public forumI wouldnt trade a single detail for where we are today. I am so excited to spend the next twenty-five years (and more!) with my very best friend.

Ryan (and Casey), Paige (and Matt), and Hayden, thank you for allowing me the freedom to talk about the behind-the-scenes moments in the life of our family. We are not perfect; but, praise God, we are perfectly forgiven.

Thank you to my amazing publisher, B&H. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for your partnership over the past ten years. Its been a tremendous honor to be a part of your family. Now, and always.

Lee (a.k.a. best literary agent in the universe), you amaze me. Truly, amaze me. Ive thought of you so often while writing this book. No one expects their fairy tale to include a diagnosis of brain cancer. The words fairy tale and cancer dont even belong in the same sentence. You are a living testimony that happily-ever-after is not the result of circumstances, but rather our relationship with the Lord. Im proud to be on your team of prayer warriors.

Thank you to the many women who, over the years, shared your own stories of fairy-tale expectations that didnt quite measure up to reality. Your testimonies have greatly influenced my desire to write this book.

And above all, thank you to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I grew up believing that someday, my prince will come. You swept me off my feet on August 30, 1985, and I have yet to recover from it. I pray I never do. You are the love of my life, my one true Prince, and the source of my happily-ever-after.

Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.

~Hans Christian Andersen

Introduction

O nce upon a time, there was a little girl who loved a good fairy tale. Oh, not just any fairy tale, mind you. The Cinderella-meets-her-Prince-Charming kind of fairy tale. (Minus of course, the evil stepmother, stepsister drama, and chimney-sweeping gig.) Like most other princesses in waiting, her heart was drawn to the handsome prince, ornately decorated castle, and especially, the happily-ever-after that was sealed with a kiss. Bonus points for the personal attendants that were part of the postkiss wedding package. This little girl got older and eventually outgrew the classic fairy tales, but the happily-ever-after expectation remained. She satisfied her fairy-tale appetite with chick flicks, romance novels, and late-night girl talk sessions where she and her posse of best girlfriends mastered the art of overanalyzing the motives of their latest crushes. The princess and her friends had been raised to believe that someday their princes would come. White horse, chariot, or trendy sports carthe means of transportation didnt matter as long as he arrived on the scene in a timely manner and could spare them the shame of a closet full of useless bridesmaid dresses. Or worse yet, a constant barrage of reminders from their mothers about their ticking biological clocks.

The princess went off to college, and after dating more than a few toads, her prince finally arrived. While attending a Christian weekend retreat for college students, the princess locked eyes with a handsome young fellow who had future prince written all over him. True to her fairy-tale expectations, it was love at first sight. Well, at least for the princess. The prince apparently had failed to read the script and missed the love-at-first-sight cue. Oh, but thats not all. In the days following the retreat, he called and asked for the phone number of one of the princesss friends, so he could ask her to his law school formal. A tiny diversion from the princesss imagined script, but alas, love cannot be rushed. For the record, that sweet princess may or may not have given the prince the wrong phone number before hanging up the phone and sobbing into her pillow for the next half hour. Where was that wand-waving fairy when you needed her? Clearly, Cinderella was staying home from the law school ball.

One year later, those tears were long forgotten when the princess glanced down at the beautiful diamond solitaire on her left hand. She may have missed out on accompanying the prince to his law school formal, but she would be on his arm at the only ball that really mattered. Her prince had finally come, and the fairy-tale life she had dreamed about was about to begin. Or so she thought. Unfortunately, the chick flicks, romance novels, and sappy love songs ended where real life began. Where was the scene, chapter, or song lyric about the prince playing in a softball tournament on the day they brought their first baby home from the hospital? (Oh, yes he did!) Or the one where the princess talked the prince into buying a castle they couldnt afford? Where is the scene, chapter, or song lyric detailing the pain of raising a rebellious teenager? Or the one where their family became a slave to a calendar of nonstop activities and their faith sometimes got lost in the shuffle? Or how about the one where they eventually found themselves sitting in a counselors office wondering what in the world had become of the prince/princess they thought they had married years before? Juggling marriage and motherhood was much harder than the princess had imagined. A wand-waving fairy would have been helpful in moments like this. And much cheaper.

Twenty-five years have gone by since the princess and the prince began their very own fairy-tale adventure. Their children are grown and have left the nest. They stop by to visit often, but they dont stay overnight. Their rooms are clean. Their beds stay made. There are fewer loads of laundry and less junk food in the pantry. The sibling rivalry has ceased. The house is quiet. Sometimes, eerily quiet. The prince and the princess have more time for each other, and while they miss the chapters where the children were younger, they dont want to turn back the pages and live them all over again. They go on dates often and take trips. They spend time with their friends. They even stay up late on some weekends, without a single worry of whether or not that teenager will make curfew. They are enjoying this new chapter and, especially, the blessing that comes with being their childrens friends.