Bev Moore Davis - White Picket Monsters

White Picket Monsters

A Story of Strength and Survival

Bev Moore Davis

White Picket Monsters

A Story of Strength and Survival

Copyright 2020 Bev Moore Davis

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means - electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

All of the events in this book are true to the best of the authors memory, it reflects the authors present recollections of experiences over time. Some names have been changed to protect the identity of certain parties. The views expressed in this book are solely those of the author.

For speaking inquiries or bulk order requests, please email

Formatting by Rik Wild Seas Formatting

ISBN

978-1-7774680-1-9 (Hardcover)

978-1-7774680-0-2 (Paperback)

978-1-7774680-2-6 (eBook)

www.bevmooredavis.com

For those who have had their innocence stolen. For those who grew up hearing and believing that they were not good enough, and for those who - as adults today continue to struggle with these negative influences that have been cemented into our very foundation. I leave this thought with you: there is no greater evil than those who willingly hurt an innocent child, and I assure you, our voices will make a difference.

This was a difficult book to write. I have always been a private person, though I have stepped outside my comfort zone to tell my story; I hope it can help other survivors. As a child, you cannot take responsibility for the actions of an adult. If you are a survivor, please know you are not alone. And the abuse was not your fault.

I truly hope the book will inspire those responsible for the wellbeing of children, including parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbours, teachers, coaches, doctors...etc. As adults, we all share the responsibility of protecting children. No red flag should ever be ignored.

This book is dedicated to all survivors of child abuse.

Also dedicated to my nephew and niece:

Adam King

October 20, 1993 - August 12, 2020

Melinda Ryan

March 11, 1983 - September 23, 2015

Your wings were ready; but our hearts were not.

May you both Rest in Peace.

I was incredibly honoured when Bev asked me to endorse her revealing book. It tells her story of living and surviving a pain-filled childhood. It may be a difficult read for some, but in describing her journey, her personal insights provide the system with an awareness that should not be ignored. Bev has worked tirelessly to raise awareness and truly educate the general public, but most especially service providers. She emphasizes that workers need to have a full understanding about what a young person is feeling and thinking while living in a dysfunctional environment. This is a paramount consideration for Bev as she knows that a true understanding of the dynamics is pivotal to real change.

I have known Bev for several years in my capacity as an anti-violence advocate and retired police officer of 30 years. This lady is the epitome of professionalism, integrity, and perseverance. For many who have survived traumatic events during childhood, their experiences take them on a dark journey, not Bev! She used her pain to assist others in coping with theirs - with her primary focus being the prevention of child abuse.

Despite my experience in documenting painful disclosures, I had never heard of blood cells in a persons body showing signs of trauma until I read Bevs story - it was jarring. This fact alone takes the pain and the damage to a whole new level. It should dramatically increase our awareness about the extent of child abuse, the urgent requirement for early interventions, and the need for a wider array of services to deal with the aftermath. Her poignant and touching summation on becoming a teenage mom - I knew what NOT to do! Ironically, Bev knew exactly what she HAD to do to ensure this didnt happen to other children.

In the spirit of doing more, Bev put her own pain aside. She focused on rising above and she availed of every opportunity to turn a negative into a positive. Her attributes, compassion, and empathy have uniquely combined to offer us a new perspective and a new mission. We should all be grateful that this fighter and survivor stayed in our province as communities have benefitted from her willingness to share the insights from the most severe type of traumatic experience.

Bevs impact in the community has been nothing short of phenomenal. Bevs quiet disposition and captivating story of real life, spoken hundreds of times, leaves her audiences with a much better understanding of the dynamics of abuse and the effects on those who have been victimized. Her credibility is enhanced exponentially as she speaks from experience and not a textbook or from second-hand knowledge. This feature sets her apart in the awareness sphere; as sadly, most victims suffer in silence. Her experience is riveting and powerful; it has often resulted in others feeling sufficiently empowered to speak of their own horrendous experiences, and she has heard many disclosures.

Some of Bevs community awareness initiatives include the Miles for Smiles Foundation, a local chapter of ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child Abuse) which offers a regular monthly support group, and Blue Shirt Day. Years ago, Bev began a province wide tour to ask municipal councils to officially proclaim April as an awareness month. Her efforts were well rewarded as most councils, after learning about her story, were anxious to get involved. Her idea to have the province also proclaim April as Child Abuse Awareness Month was ambitious and took time but her dedication to that one project did not go unnoticed. Government officials finally agreed to her persistent and repeated request in 2016. Since April of 2013, the annual walk in Bowring Park has become an informative, supportive, and therapeutic event. Additionally, Bev, despite physical pain, completed a cross-province bike tour to raise awareness. These are just some of her game-changing educative strategies; there are others.

To say she is a focused, determined, passionate change-agent would be a major understatement. Bev is making a real difference in peoples lives and her quest to stop the abuse of children has been groundbreaking in our province. Our sad reality is there are still four new cases every day in NL, and shockingly we know that only 10% are ever reported. These statistics have not changed for decades. We need to question why. There is much more that must be done!

Connie Pike, B.A Police Studies

Police Inspector (retd)

T he room was pitch dark and silent. All I could hear was the sound of my breath. Suddenly, I realized I wasnt alone. My mouth opened wide as I desperately gasped, pulling air deep into my lungs. My diaphragm contracted, forcing the air out in a scream that should have been heard for miles - but there was no sound. Terror consumed me as I attempted another scream. Again, just silence. I could now hear my heart pounding as my body quivered and I suddenly felt the painful impact of a hammer striking the back of my skull. I fearfully sprung out of bed when a familiar voice reassured me.

Its okay babe. Youre okay. Its just a dream.

My husband Tom reached out to guide me back to bed and comforted me as I regained control of my breathing.

Nightmares like these are common, though fortunately less frequent in recent years since I moved to the city. They serve as painful reminders of the trauma that will not be easily forgotten.

Tom is my rock. We are a team, and very well matched. Together we own and operate three local businesses. As busy as we are, Tom likes to remind me that I always seem to find time for my other work. In 2011, I started the Newfoundland and Labrador chapter of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse and this year, 2013, was the inaugural year of Miles for Smiles, an organization I founded to bring much-needed awareness to the issues surrounding child abuse to Newfoundland and Labrador.