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Carol Burnett - Carrie and Me

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Carol Burnett Carrie and Me
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The New York Times bestselling memoir from legendary comedienne Carol Burnett is a loving, poignant ( People ) tribute to her eldest daughter, Carrie Hamilton. The daughter of one of televisions most recognizable and beloved stars, Carol Burnett, Carrie Hamilton won the hearts of everyone she met with her kindness, her quirky humor, and her unconventional approach to life. After overcoming her painful and public teenage struggle with drug addiction in a time when personal troubles were kept private, Carrie lived her adult life of sobriety to the fullest, achieving happiness and success as an actress, writer, musician, and director before losing a hard-fought battle with cancer at age thirty-eight. Now Carol Burnett shares her personal diary entries, photographs, and correspondence as she traces the journey she and Carrie took through some of lifes toughest challenges and sweetest miracles. Authentic, intimate, and full of love, Carrie and Me is a funny and moving memoir about mothering an extraordinary young woman through the struggles and triumphs of her life.ReviewIts hard to put into words just how deeply this book touched me. It made me laugh, cry and everything in between. Simply wonderful. A beautiful tribute to a remarkable daughter written straight from the heart by the mother who loved her. If you have ever loved a child, read this book. Heartbreakingly funny, sad and wise. Both mother and daughter will live in your heart long after you finish reading. (Fannie Flagg ) Through her openness and honesty, Carol Burnett is an inspiration. While reading Carrie and Me , Id think, How can a person who gave the world so much pleasure have had to endure so much pain? No, life isnt fair, but in Burnetts wonderful book we are reminded of what gets us through: love. (David Sheff author of Beautiful Boy and Clean) Powerful, poignant and moving. (California Bookwatch) In a beautiful and poignant tribute to her late daughter, Carrie Hamilton, actress and comedienne Carol Burnett has written a funny and moving memoir about mothering an extraordinary young woman. (Life After 50) Carrie and Me serves as an inspirational piece that can aid any parent struggling with raising or losing a child. (Examiner.com) Full of touching, funny stories that are all the more enjoyable for reflecting the authors sensibility and voice. (AVClub.com) Burnetts touching tribute to her daughter is an opportunity to read a talented and celebrated comedian being serious about a tragic life story. (Splitsider.com) A highly recommended mothers tribute that will bring tears to most readers eyes. (Library Journal) A poignant tribute...pulling no punches...an intimate portrait of a sometimes challenging, always loving mother-daughter relationship. (Booklist) Loving, poignant. (People) Intimate...heartbreakingly moving. (Readers Digest) Hauntingly beautiful and heartfelt. (FoxNews.com) A poignant and, of course, funny look at a life cut too short. (New York Post) The worst thing for a parent is to outlive a child. The bravest thing a parent can do is to write a loving, funny memoir of her daughter who overcame teenage problems with drugs and living in a superstar parents shadow to forge her own showbiz career before dying of cancer at 38. (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) Carrie and Me is certainly a memorial, but its more a celebration of [Carrie Hamiltons] life than a somber elegy . . . Affecting. (Tampa Bay Times) With humor and poignancy, the celebrated comedian remembers her vivacious and sometimes troubled daughter. (Sacramento Bee) Inspiring . . . A fitting tribute. (Fort Myers Florida Weekly) About the AuthorCarol Burnett is a highly acclaimed actress known for her roles on stage and screen, most notably The Carol Burnett Show. She has been honored with twelve Peoples Choice Awards, eight Golden Globes, six Emmy Awards, The Kennedy Center Honors, and the Mark Twain Prize for Humor.From BooklistBeloved comic actress and author Burnett has penned a poignant tribute to her late daughter, Carrie Hamilton. Pulling no punches, Burnett details Carries youthful struggles with drug addiction and her long, hard journey through rehab and beyond. After successfully emerging from the dark years, Hamilton forged a successful, independent career for herself as both an actress and a writer. Before she died at age 38 of lung cancer, she asked her mother to complete Sunrise to Memphis, the story she had been working on before her illness exacted its final toll. Unable to do so, Burnett came up with an alternative, fashioning an intimate portrait of a sometimes challenging, always loving mother-daughter relationship by combining correspondence from Carrie with her own anecdotes and memories. As a bonus, Burnett provides the unfinished Sunrise to Memphisa fitting tribute to her talented daughters creative life. --Margaret Flanagan --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.Excerpt. Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.Carrie and Me PREFACEIn late 2000, my daughter Carrie Hamilton was working on a story, Sunrise in Memphis, writing in her small Colorado cabin. The story was about a bohemian girls strange road trip to Elviss Graceland with a mysterious cowboy. Carrie planned to turn it into a screenplay eventually. Because she felt a kinship with Kate, her main character, Carrie (being a free spirit and somewhat bohemian herself) decided to hit the road and take the same trip for research purposes. So she got out her maps, filled the gas tank in her Jeep, and headed south toward Memphis. She e-mailed me fresh pages of the story almost daily, along with tales of her own adventures on her journey to Graceland. As a side trip, Carrie visited our familys old stomping grounds in San Antonio, Texas, and Belleville, Arkansas, since the two of us were writing a play together based on my family, who came from those parts of the country. Carrie didnt live to finish either project. She died of cancer a little over a year later at the age of thirty-eight. This book has taken me on a bittersweet journey. When she was in the hospital for the last time, Carrie asked me to finish Sunrise in Memphis for her, which I havent been able to do. Try as I might, the characters in the story were hers to write, not mine. Carries request had been living with me for over ten years when I finally figured out what I could do. Fortunately, I had saved all of the letters and e-mails we wrote to each other during her road trip to Memphis. In Part One of this book Ive combined that correspondence with my own memories. These include a few episodes Ive written about before, but I feel they bear repeating to round out the order of events. Ive also written here about Carries brave fight against her illness. Part Two is Carries story Sunrise in Memphis, which is fun to read in its own right, but also eerily echoes Carries journey. This book is my way of honoring her last request, bringing to the page many of Carries thoughts and feelings and also my own journey with her, including all the ups and downs in the early years (which got pretty bumpy when Carrie became a teenager). Carrie was widely known as a magnetic young woman with a stunning smile, an infectious laugh, a throaty voice, and the soul of a poet. She was someone who cared deeply for others, particularly for those less fortunate. Whenever a homeless person approached her, she would offer them a deal: five dollars if they told her their story. As youll see, Carrie used those stories, and the personal narratives shared with her by everyone she met, as inspiration for her prose, her poetry, her music, her lyrics, and her acting. Carrie piled so much into her young life that one can only imagine what she would have tackled and accomplished in the second half. For myself, I hope you will get to know the daughter I loved and cherished. I can honestly say that just about everyone who knew Carrie loved her. Maybe thats because she loved them right back. I also hope Ive succeeded in bringing Carries essence to these pages. I treasure her words, and even after reading them again and again, each time I am grateful for the reminder that she has never left me. --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.

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CONTENTS For Jody and Erin PREFACE In late 2000 my daughter Carrie Hamilton - photo 1
CONTENTS

For Jody and Erin

PREFACE

In late 2000, my daughter Carrie Hamilton was working on a story, Sunrise in Memphis, writing in her small Colorado cabin. The story was about a bohemian girls strange road trip to Elviss Graceland with a mysterious cowboy. Carrie planned to turn it into a screenplay eventually. Because she felt a kinship with Kate, her main character, Carrie (being a free spirit and somewhat bohemian herself) decided to hit the road and take the same trip for research purposes.

So she got out her maps, filled the gas tank in her Jeep, and headed south toward Memphis. She e-mailed me fresh pages of the story almost daily, along with tales of her own adventures on her journey to Graceland. As a side trip, Carrie visited our familys old stomping grounds in San Antonio, Texas, and Belleville, Arkansas, since the two of us were writing a play together based on my family, who came from those parts of the country.

Carrie didnt live to finish either project. She died of cancer a little over a year later at the age of thirty-eight.

This book has taken me on a bittersweet journey. When she was in the hospital for the last time, Carrie asked me to finish Sunrise in Memphis for her, which I havent been able to do. Try as I might, the characters in the story were hers to write, not mine. Carries request had been living with me for over ten years when I finally figured out what I could do.

Fortunately, I had saved all of the letters and e-mails we wrote to each other during her road trip to Memphis. In Part One of this book Ive combined that correspondence with my own memories. These include a few episodes Ive written about before, but I feel they bear repeating to round out the order of events. Ive also written here about Carries brave fight against her illness. Part Two is Carries story Sunrise in Memphis, which is fun to read in its own right, but also eerily echoes Carries journey.

This book is my way of honoring her last request, bringing to the page many of Carries thoughts and feelings and also my own journey with her, including all the ups and downs in the early years (which got pretty bumpy when Carrie became a teenager).

Carrie was widely known as a magnetic young woman with a stunning smile, an infectious laugh, a throaty voice, and the soul of a poet. She was someone who cared deeply for others, particularly for those less fortunate. Whenever a homeless person approached her, she would offer them a deal: five dollars if they told her their story. As youll see, Carrie used those stories, and the personal narratives shared with her by everyone she met, as inspiration for her prose, her poetry, her music, her lyrics, and her acting. Carrie piled so much into her young life that one can only imagine what she would have tackled and accomplished in the second half.

For myself, I hope you will get to know the daughter I loved and cherished. I can honestly say that just about everyone who knew Carrie loved her. Maybe thats because she loved them right back.

I also hope Ive succeeded in bringing Carries essence to these pages. I treasure her words, and even after reading them again and again, each time I am grateful for the reminder that she has never left me.

PART ONE
Carrie and Me
Some Very Early Memories

December 1963

New York City

In spite of the cold, snowy weather, I was very hot all the time because I was very pregnant. One night I was burning up, but didnt dare open the window in our apartment bedroom for fear that my husband, Joe Hamilton, sleeping next to me, might wind up freezing to death. So I went into the second bedroom, opened the window to let the cold night air blow in, and plopped myself down on top of the covers. At last I was finally comfortable. The next morning I woke up refreshed after a good nights sleep and found myself covered in a lovely white blanket of snow, which had blown in sideways through the open window during the night! Heaven.

I went into labor the evening of December 4. Small pains at first, but we knew this was it. Joe and I checked into the hospital around eight oclock, and I was assigned to a labor room. The night nurse, Louise (I remember her name because it was my mothers name), helped me get undressed and issued me the regular hospital uniforma singularly unattractive, knee-length gown, opening in the back. She hung up my dress and coat in the closet, put my boots on the shelf, and led me to a rather lumpy bed. I obediently got in and she hoisted up some metal bars on both sides. I figured she must be worried that I might roll off onto the floor and bounce down the hall.

A doctor on duty came in to examine me, and my water broke immediately.

A short while later, Joe was ushered in and was advised by Louise that he might as well go home because it looked like it would be a long night. I secretly wished he would stay with me, but in those days the father wasnt necessarily a welcome figure in the labor room. Louise promised Joe shed call him when the time drew near. They left, and I was alone in the dark. The nurse had given me a shot and I dozed off, thinking this labor thing wasnt nearly as difficult as they say....

The next thing I remember is waking to the sound of some woman from the cell next to mine screaming, Omigod! Omigod! Get this out of me NOW!!! I dozed off again, still confident that my labor was going to be a snap.

Wrong. I was awakened by pains coming fast and hard. I called out for Louise. She came in, gave me a few ice chips to chew on, assured me that all was well, and left me once again. All was well, my foot! I thought the shot they had given me earlier was going to make this whole business easier. It only made me drunk. So drunk that I sat up, pushed the bed bars down, got up, waddled over to the closet, and proceeded to get dressed. I had put on my dress and coat, and was trying to squeeze into my boots when Louise came back in.

Mrs. Hamilton! What are you doing?

Leaving.

But you cant!

Look, I reasoned, I didnt feel like this when I came in, so I wont feel like this when I get out of here!

She got me back into that god-awful gown and into that god-awful bed, and the whole thing started back up with a vengeance. Before long I found myself sounding just like my next-door neighbor.

Carrie Louise Hamilton, my firstborn child, arrived the morning of December 5 at 11:20 a.m. They placed her in my arms and when I looked at my little miracle, all that pain quickly became a dim memory.

Holding my new baby daughter Carrie Louise 1963 I remember wanting Carrie - photo 2

Holding my new baby daughter, Carrie Louise, 1963

Picture 3

I remember wanting Carrie to walk by her first birthday. She had already taken the first few baby steps by the time she was eleven months old, but only when we walked together, so she could hold on to my little finger. I came up with a brilliant idea. I would hold on to one end of a large handkerchief and give Carrie the other end (which substituted for my little finger). It worked. Together we walked up and down the hall of our apartment several times a day for about a week, and she never fell down. Then came the day when I quietly dropped my end of the handkerchief, but continued to walk beside her. Not noticing, she walked without my help to the end of the hall. I was so excited I exclaimed, Good girl!!! See? You did it all by yourself! She looked at the handkerchief, and seeing that I wasnt holding the other end, immediately plopped down on the floor and started to cry. After that I let her learn to walk at her own pace, having come to the realization that there are some things a parent shouldnt try to force.

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