Gregory E. Lang - Daddys Little Girl: Stories of the Special Bond Between Fathers and Daughters

Daddys Little Girl

Stories of the Special Bond Between Fathers and Daughters

GREGORY E. LANG

TO MY LITTLE GIRLS ,
Bug Meat and Monkey Feet

Train a child the way she should go,
and when she is old she will not turn from it.

PROVERBS 22:6

ONE DAY WHILE at work, I had a conversation about my relationship with my then eight-year-old daughter, Meagan, my only child. A divorced dad with joint-custody privileges, I had Meagan for two weeks each month. This on-again, off-again visitation schedule at times created challenges for me, both at work and in my personal life. Yet, it also gave me a wonderful opportunity to be involved in my daughters day-to-day activities. I organized my schedule around hers during our time together, skipping lunch in order to leave work early enough to pick her up from school and hosting slumber parties on our weekends together.

During that workplace conversation, I was asked if I truly enjoyed the rewards of parenting, or if they were overshadowed by the challenges I faced as a single dad raising a young daughter. I answered quickly and adamantlythe rewards were endless and worth any challenge or lost opportunity I had to deal with. For the remainder of that afternoon, my thoughts were filled with one reason after another about why I would rather, and without hesitation, compromise my career and single lifestyle than my relationship with my beloved little girl.

A lifelong note taker and list maker, I sat down when I arrived home that evening and in short order wrote out a list of reasons why I thought Meagan needed meindeed, why I needed her. I ended up with one hundred reasons.

That list was originally like so many others I had written before, an attempt to get thoughts on paper before they were forgotten. When I finished the list, I read it overonce, twice, and then many times. At some point, I saw my written words as more than a simple listthey were a tribute to our relationship, a reassurance to my child that her father will always love her, passionately and unconditionally, no matter what.

It was also, quite frankly, a tangible reminder of what I, as one of her parents, should do for her as well as what I hoped not to ever do.

When it occurred to me that I had read the list over a dozen times before putting it down, the idea for my first book was born.

Nearly four years later, the book was published; it was titled Why a Daughter Needs a Dad: A Hundred Reasons. I still remember the day Meagan and I first spotted copies of it on a bookstore shelf. My own words, on bound paper and in hardback no less, were right there in front of me! Even if no one other than my family and friends were to buy the book, I was proud of it. And it influenced our relationship in ways I had not expected.

We began to talk more often about our relationship and improve upon it where we could. I worked harder to live up to my published words, and she began to have a better understanding of what concerned and motivated me as her father. A few times, she even reminded me of what I had written when I was not conducting myself or handling a matter as I had suggested I should.

Soon, we learned the book connected with others as well. I began to receive letters and e-mails from dads and daughters from all walks of life who wanted to tell me about their relationships. Many were from daughters who heaped praise on their dads; others were from dads who told of their hopes and dreams for their daughters. Occasionally, a daughter wrote to express her longing for a dad who had passed away, and now and then a perplexed or frustrated dad would ask for advice. Most messages from daughters included hints of what a dad had actually done, knowingly or not, that contributed to the happiness and well-being of his loving daughter.

Today when I ponder my relationship with Meagan and now also with my stepdaughter, Linley, wondering how best to handle or think about this or that situation, I often turn to my cache of e-mails and letters. I scan them for advice and reassurance; surely some other dad has told me of when he was in a similar predicament, or a daughter has inadvertently described for me what to do when I find myself in a certain father-daughter quandary. Thankfully, I always find at least one note filled with welcome wisdom.

It occurred to me on one occasion while reading these stories that perhaps with the advice and insight Ive found in them, I could help other dads and daughters better understand their own father-daughter relationships. With that idea in mind, the plans for this book began to materialize.

I corresponded with my readers, asking them to elaborate on stories they had shared with me and to tell me new ones. I wanted to hear what dads and daughters had learned from each other, how their relationships had changed over time, what challenges they faced and how they dealt with them, and what their favorite memories and special moments were.

I eventually received nearly four hundred storiesstories that not only continued to teach me a thing or two, but also reassured me there are plenty of dads and daughters who want to celebrate their relationships by sharing them with an eager and appreciative audience. I received funny and heartwarming stories about birthdays, daddy-daughter dates, emergency-room visits, graduations, weddings, late-night chats in the dark, and so much more.

As I read the stories, I began to notice a few common threads running through them: Fathers and daughters have a tremendous capacity to love each other no matter how challenged their relationship might have been at one time or another. And no father ever thinks his daughter is too old to call on him for help of any kind, just as every daughter eventually realizes she, no matter what her age, will always be her daddys little girl.

That brings me to the little girls in my life today. Meagan is now a high-school senior preparing to enter college, and nearly every day we are reminded that in just over a year she will not only leave home but our community as well. For her, this book is a reflection on the times weve spent together since I wrote Why a Daughter Needs a Dad and a reminder that though she may leave the nest, she can never leave my heart. My stepdaughter, Linley, has now lived nearly three years with me and is embracing a new kind of daddy-daughter relationship, one with a stepdad. For her, this book is a promise that she can have as much of me as she wants, and in these stories I hope she sees just how much that can be.

You are about to read stories about dad-and-daughter relationships, some downright funny and obvious, others subtle yet thought provoking. Dads, I hope you will finish this book with the same feelings of enlightenment and inspiration I experienced while writing it. And, daughters, after youve turned the last page, I hope you give your dad a great big hug and a kiss. I assure you, hell be delighted that you did.