Ken Osmond - Eddie: The Life and Times of Americas Preeminent Bad Boy

EDDIE:

The Life and Times of Americas Preeminent Bad Boy

By Ken Osmond

And Christopher J. Lynch

EDDIE: The Life and Times of Americas Preeminent Bad Boy

Copyright 2014 Ken Osmond and Christopher J. Lynch

Edited by EbookEditingServices.com

Cover design by DigitalDonna.com

Cover Image courtesy of Universal Studios Licensing LLC

Formatting by IRONHORSEFormatting.com

Photo Clearance by Sparks Media Services

All Rights Reserved. This book is based on true events, some of which occurred a very long time ago. Every effort has been made to accurately depict these events and the individuals involved as I remember them.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This book would not have been possible without the generous support of so many people who gave freely of their time through countless hours of interviews, numerous emails, and other correspondence. These individuals are listed here in alphabetical order:

Alice Cooper

Tony Dow

Steve Fischer

Henry Lane

Brian Levant

Jerry Mathers

Bob Mosher III

Christian Osmond

Dayton Osmond

Eric Osmond

Sandy Osmond

Kim Roderick

Harry Shearer

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my family, both immediate and extended.

To my parents, who, even though they raised me in the difficult time of post WWII years, provided a foundation of my personal values that have stood the test of time.

To Grandma and Grandpa, (Sandys parents) for taking me in as one of their own. They were instrumental in my sons becoming the best any father could hope for.

To Eric and Christian, my sons. I couldnt be more proud of them. They have become responsible adults. Both are professionals in their chosen endeavors.

To my wife Sandy, who has tolerated me through so many decades, and has been my partner in all the decisions that have brought us to our senior years, and a comfortable retirement.

Ken Osmond, 2014

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Tony Dow as Wally Cleaver, circa 1958

A kid like Eddie Haskell only comes along about once in a couple hundred years.

Ken Osmond, circa 2014

Nonsense; theres one on every block.

By Jerry Mathers

Throughout the years, many people have asked me about Ken Osmond and if he really is like Eddie Haskell, who I think is one of the most memorable Leave It to Beaver characters. What I always say is, the real Ken Osmond is diametrically opposed to Eddie Haskell. He is nothing like him. Kenny is a great actor because he makes people believe that his personality is exactly like Eddies. In reality, he is a devoted family man, very active in the American Legion, he loves to square dance, is a decorated police officer who was shot in the line of duty, and he is a wonderful friend.

I remember that when I had scenes with Kenny, he would always have his character and lines down, and he was the consummate professional. It was interesting to watch him, because other cast members on the show were pretty much like the people they portrayed in the series. Not that their personality was exactly the same, but for instance, Tony Dow was chosen because he was an Amateur Athletic Union swimming and diving champion, and he was very athletic much like his Wally character. Kenny was not chosen because he had a personality like Eddie Haskell, but because he was so good at acting like the two-faced, insincere kid that he portrayed as Eddie.

The character of Eddie Haskell is the ultimate nemesis in Leave It to Beaver . When you watch the show you have Ward and June, who are the parental authority figures, and they guide Beaver so he knows the difference between right and wrong. As the older brother, Wally always tried to counsel and protect the Beaver when he was about to do something impetuous or foolish, by explaining the consequences. Many times I did not listen to his advice! Then you have Eddie, who is the little devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear. He always tries to tempt the Beaver by telling him that his bad actions will not have any consequences, as he guides the Beaver in his version of the ways of the world. The character of Eddie is that person in our lives who always gets us into trouble. Everyone knows an Eddie Haskell and thats why the character is so easily recognized and remembered.

Some of my fondest memories while filming Leave It to Beaver were every once in a while, I was invited to go to lunch with Kenny, Tony Dow, and Frank Bank at the local drive-in restaurant, Bobs Big Boy, near our Universal Studios set. It was a really big treat if one of them would ask me to join the group. It would usually be Kenny who would say, Oh yea, Jerry can come along with us. I felt very grateful to him, because it meant that I could hang out with the big guys. Of course, in the very real life fashion of teenagers, and similar to their antics on Leave It to Beaver , the guys would sometimes make me hunch down in the backseat so that they could flirt with the girls and not be embarrassed that they had a little kid with them!

I have always been able to count on Kenny. When I decided to buy a barbeque for my new house, Kenny asked me, Have you ever built one before?

No, I said.

Ill come over and help you, he replied.

Sure enough, the next day Kenny drove up to my house in his pickup truck which was full of bricks, sand, and cement. He showed me how to mix the cement, put the bricks up, and level them. And, in six hours, with a lot of laughs and a couple of beers, I had a brand new barbecue.

Oh, we had a good day, remarked Kenny.

Thats just the kind of friend he is.

Speaking in true Eddie Haskell formIts been a very lovely lifelong friendship weve had, Mr. Osmond.

Jerry Mathers

Actor, Director, Lecturer

P.S. Just another parting thought -- In real life, I was the oldest of five children in my family and Kenny only had one older brother. Ironically, in his family, he was really the Beaver. Who would have thought?

MORTIS INTERRUPTUS

September 20, 1980

LAPD Officer, Steve Fischer,

Dont worry Kenny, youre gonna be fine, everythings gonna be just fine.

The words were meant to reassure me, but I never in my life wanted to hear them, especially lying flat on my back, after being shot three times at point blank range. I knew what Steve was trying to do and I appreciated it. He and I had gone through the academy together a decade ago. Inches away from me, my assailant, who in legal parlance would still be referred to as the suspect , lie bleeding out, as the result of a single gunshot wound to the head. A river of blood flowed out of his cheek, down the sidewalk, and into the gutter. In the darkness of the night, the blood looked black, like crude oil. In the distance sirens were wailing, as every officer in the vicinity was racing to the call of: Officer needs help shots fired - officer down. I had done so myself in the past and joined in the screaming posse, I just never imagined they would be riding to me.

I stared up at Steve. He was a good cop, and a good man. I could trust him to do what I needed him to do next.

Im hurtin real bad Steve, I said. Tell my wife and my sons that I love em.

* * *

The night had begun as routinely as all the rest of them. My partner, Henry Lane, and I had done roll call and then stopped for dinner before beginning our evening shift on our motorcycles doing Deuce Patrol. This was our cop shorthand for DUI (driving under the influence) and slang for the drunk drivers we were tasked with spotting and apprehending as our primary duty.

I loved working motors as it was called. In my ten years on the police department, it had been my favorite duty, far better than vice, or residential burglary. Part of the reason was because I loved motorcycles, and I had been an enthusiast my entire life, even to the point of taking cross-country tours with my wife, Sandy. Henry and I also had a special bond, as we had worked together for so many years.