ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Jimmy
Karl
Kim
Marcia
Tons of gratitude to all who generously offered their time, talents, and care to this book:
Those who put me on track:
John Ferriter, my William Morris agent... your enthusiasm has never wavered. I love you.
Mel Berger at William Morris Agency... thanks for believing in me.
Tracy Bernstein at New American Library.
Marleah Leslie and Ann Gurrola, my publicists.
And those who keep me on track:
My fans... whose amazing loyalty keeps me moving forward.
For reading pages with insightful editing eyes, listening to stories, and sharing profound perspectives and helpful ideas: Teresa Fischer, Patricia Bechdolt, Patty Leoni, Michelle Osmond, Connie Ljunberg, Darla and Greg Sperry, Gail Ryan, Lorraine Wheeler, Cheryl Burke and her Tai Pan crew.
For assistance with the photographs and for being patient about looking at my mug over and over and over and over again: Peggy Vicioso, Tina Salmon, Debra MacFarlane, Kirsten Gallo, Debra Gehris, Toni Sorenson, Cashman Photography, Stacie Mullen of NutriSystem, and Megan Lozito and Leslie Holland of the American Heart Association.
And finally, those who keep me from derailing:
Kim Goodwin (my Kimmy, what a talent: makeup, hairstylist, photography, designer): For being the miracle who reappears in my life exactly when I need you most. Whether you like it or not, you are now part of my family.
To my brother, Jimmy Osmond. You are the life raft in every storm. I dont know what I would do without you, and I would do anything for you.
My continued love and gratitude to my manager, Karl Engemann, aka the Godfather, the Grand Poobah, the Silver Fox, or often referred to as the Human Q-tip. In a sense youve raised me and, through your wisdom, guided me through decades of decisions, choices, and challenges with your incredibly gentle heart that has remained my one true constant through it all. I love you.
Special thanks to my coauthor, Marcia Wilkie. Ill never forget when we met ten years ago as you burst into my dressing room in Filenes Basement!!!!... okay... it was backstage... with your head writer steno pad and a mischievous grin. I knew wed work (and play) together for years to come. Hows that for good intuition??? You are one of the most talented women Ive ever known. Were the perfect blend of third-grade humor, intellectual curiosity, and spiritual awe. Most important, I know were friends till the end. By the way... did you change your cell phone number?
My endless devotion to the eight people I love more than any words can express, my children: Stephen, Jessica, Rachael, Michael, Brandon, Brianna, Matthew, and Abigail. You are my source of daily love, joy, aha moments, tears, inspiration, and some pretty hefty laughter. You give me so many things to ponder on... and some to even write about. You are my world!
And always, eternal gratitude to my loving Father in Heaven, who gives purpose to everything.
The Most Unforgettable Moment Ill Never Remember
We came up with a spoof of Dancing with the Stars for YouTube called Dancing with the Starved! This is filmmaker Liz Lachman, writer Marcia Wilkie, dance partner Jonathan Roberts and me as my doll and me as megetting down with some fun.
Jane Seymour is a doll. The other women on season five of Dancing with the Stars were also dolls, but there was no question that Jane was the biggest doll. Though I was the original doll among the five remaining female celebrity competitors on the show, all of us could claim immortality in vinyl.
We had all been modeled into twelve-inch Barbie-style play dolls at some point in our careers. My play doll debuted during the original Donny and Marie variety show, when I was sixteen years old. Mel B had her look-alike Spice Girl doll. Jennie Garth had been made into a Kelly Taylor doll, her character from Beverly Hills, 90210. Sabrina Bryan was the most current doll as Dorinda of the Cheetah Girls. Jane Seymours Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman doll was made of porcelain, elegantly costumed, and towered two inches over our dolls, making her the biggest doll.
Being dolls might never have come up in conversation among the five of us, except that I made a video spoof about rehearsing for Dancing with the Stars featuring my Marie doll.
I decided to make the video, Dancing with the Starved, because I had to find a way to laugh about the situation I had put myself in. I was on a ballroom dancing show and I didnt know how to dance! My brothers and I had learned some basic tap steps growing up, but most of our dance moves were very similar to Saturday Night Fever steps: a lot of pointing, a few lunges, big scoops with the arms, and constant head bobbing.
Heading into the first week of rehearsals with my professional partner, Jonathan Roberts, I had no illusions that Id be a natural at the technique of ballroom. I knew it would take a lot of effort. I did, however, fool myself into thinking that I was in pretty good shape. I had lost some weight with NutriSystem and had been walking, as well as doing some yoga, biking, and hiking. I thought I was somewhat prepared for the road ahead. Think again! After the first three hours, I was more like roadkill! There are moves involved in ballroom dancing that require so much flexibility, I didnt know how any person with an actual skeleton could possibly do them.
After my second day of rehearsals, my muscles were so sore I had to crawl up the stairs to my bedroom. I thought if I could lie down for fifteen or twenty minutes I would no longer feel the burn in every single connective tissue in my body and would soon be fine again. I should have known better. The moment I stopped moving, my body tried to hang up the Closed for the Season sign. I could barely pop the childproof cap off of the bottle of ibuprofen. The thought of getting up for a glass of water was unbearable, so I called out to the first kid who passed by the bedroom door. It was my ten-year-old, Brandon.
Sweetheart, can you get Mommy a glass of water?
I cant carry anything else right now, Mom, he told me, displaying his full hands to me.
By this time, I couldnt really turn my neck to see what he was preoccupied with.
Just set that stuff here on the bed and run quick and get me a glass of water. Okay?
