Thyme - Catherine, Karma, and Complex PTSD

CATHERINE, KARMA,

and COMPLEX PTSD

Lauren O. Thyme

Lauren O. Thyme Publishing

2019

Copyright 2019 by Lauren O. Thyme

First Edition

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States of America

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner

whatsoever without written permission from the publishers except in

the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Free image compliments of Pixabay

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Design by Sue Stein

Contact Lauren O. Thyme:

Email: thyme.lauren@gmail.com

Facebook: Lauren O. Thyme

LaurenOThymeCreations.com

This book is dedicated to my beloved Aunt Edna

and counselor Pete Walker, author of

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving ,

both of whom saved my life.

CHAPTER 1

THE BEGINNING

Take your broken heart and make it into art.

Carrie Fisher

(Carrie was famous for playing Princess Leia in Star Wars.

She then created her famous one-woman comedy show on bipolar

disease which she suffered from and died as a consequence of it.)

Catherine, Karma and Complex PTSD is a genuine, factual account with scientific subtexts. The story line contains information of my childhood as Lauren, and my past lives. Also included is what Ive learned about my karma, past and current lives, and complex PTSD, as these co-mingle in healing and understanding. I sometimes achieve a contemplative state, otherworldly, floating above and around my reality while my Higher Self gains epiphany. I live, as my deceased partner Paul used to say, in a naturally altered state, with little ego to hold me together, highly sensitive like the Princess and the Pea, with virtually no skin to protect myself. I have one foot on earth and the other in a transcendent space/time. Thats on the good days. Other days Im in a quagmire of despair, where volcanic emotions are whipped into a frenzy. I then hide away from others, indeed I often feel immense pain around people, and long for release from anguish.

This book is non-fiction, yet some parts read like fiction. Part of what is contained here are my memories, which Ive gathered like a spiritual and psychological detective, a mystical high priestess, and a wounded child longing to be free. I also include methods of healing Ive used.

My story is sadly too commonplace. My intention is not to fix blame, nor to have you feel sorry for me, to accuse me of being a victim, or to hate the perpetrators. Rather this book is offered for you to understand what, when, who, and with a little luckwhymy life has been as it is, often difficult, sometimes miraculous, while I try to mend my broken heart.

In my opinion, nothing in life is accidental, coincidental, or by chance, but rather an awesome concurrence of cosmic events. Analytical psychologist C.G. Jung coined the word synchronicity. Jungs belief was that, just as events may be connected by causality, they also may be connected by meaning . Thus, this book describes and elucidates many hundreds, thousands, or millions of bits of events and information into one holistic arrangement. As my Elders and David Bohm, a protg of Einstein and a theoretical physicist, state, Everything is connected to everything.

CATHERINE is a past life of mine, one of 102 past lives, all of which I remember in spectacular, kaleidoscopic detail. I chose my current lifetime as Lauren to finish karma from Catherines life, to balance the disharmony I perpetrated as Catherine, and restore positive light, vibration, energy, and balance to my soul. I wrote the Catherine section of this book (Appendix 1) in 1988. Only now am I ready to finish the rest. Only now have I learned enough to explain coherently.

Although I entitle this work Catherine, Karma and Complex PTSD , I include a total of three of my past livesCatherine, Philippe, and the Empress of Titania, who were each perpetrators of crimes, especially sexual crimes. During 65 years of remembering my past lives, as well as being a past life counselor during 50 of those years, my in-depth research shows that being a perpetrator is far worsekarmically speakingthan being a victim or having a so-called neutral life.

In terms of KARMA , even though a person may appear cruel, evil and cold, psychopathic or psychotic, the soul/spirit cares deeply and wants the best for everyone. To hurt someone often creates deep regret, guilt, and shame. The Higher Self, which embodies the conscience, is most aggrieved at hurting another being. The soul then waits for a perfect opportunity in a specific lifetime to make amends. The Higher Self will find the appropriate lifetime to work out karma, and, if necessary, be a victim while repaying debts to those hurt from other lifetimes and to learn by experiencing. Often that life of contrition, repayment, and balance can be unrelentingly harsh and dreadfully painful.

The story of the ancient Egyptian Weighing of the Heart is a significant metaphor in this instance. In famous carvings, Anubis, a spiritual guide, has brought someone after death to have his heart weighed on a scale against Maats Feather of Truth, while ibis-headed Thoth writes down the results. If ones heart is as light as Maats feather, that soul would continue to the spirit world. If not, one was doomed to be devoured by Ammut and to return to earth, presumably to incarnate into another body, while continuing to experience karmic challenges and learning how to balance those appropriately.

COMPLEX POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER (C-PTSD)

First coined by Judith Herman; also known as complex trauma) is a multifaceted, complicated psychological disorder similar to post-traumatic stress disorderPTSD. Complex PTSD originates from repetitive, prolonged torment involving physical, sexual, mental, and/or emotional harm often accompanied by abandonment by a caregiver with an interpersonal relationship of uneven power dynamics, such as a parent, step-parent or adoptive parent. Laurens soul decided to choose this lifetime including complex post-traumatic stress disorder in order to learn vital karmic lessons and to pay back karmic debts. Then as Im learning, I share what Ive learned with others.

As Lauren, the level of physical, emotional, sexual, and psychic pain has been daunting from birth, perhaps even in utero. I have worked tirelessly via dozens of methods and strategies to heal myself, as well as find happiness, forgiveness, and peace. These include: 42 years of traditional and non-traditional health care; 42 years of therapy and counseling using various psychological methods; 35 hypnosis sessions; 100 rebirthing sessions (conscious breathing); hundreds of various bodywork and massage sessions; spiritual and metaphysical classes and workshops; along with an ocean of pharmaceuticals, vitamins, herbs, supplements, and other health products. Also I attended years of 12-step programsAlanon (friends and family of alcoholics), ACA (adult children of alcoholics), CoDa (co-dependents anonymous) and ISA (incest survivors anonymous), as well as reading, studying, meditating, contemplating, writing, traveling, and publishing my own books and articles. To reduce my misery was always the impetus behind the tireless work I carried out on myself. Pain compelled me to learn, uncover, forgive, and practice gratitude and compassion. Due to my extensive personal research, I also published a non-fiction book entitled Alternatives for Everyone, A Guide to Non-traditional Health Care .

Yet I have experienced miracles. I was granted many gifts and talents in this lifetime: writing, acting, lecturing, being a psychic, learning and practicing astrology, being a storyteller, and working with the Elders (a group of ascended masters). The spiritual part of me has always inexplicably felt protected and safe from harm.