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Jess Goodell - Shade It Black: Death and After in Iraq

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A female marines absorbing memoir recounting her work with the remains and personal effects of fallen soldiers and her battle with PTSD (Publishers Weekly).
In 2008, CBS chief foreign correspondent Lara Logan candidly speculated about the human side of the war in Iraq: Tell me the last time you saw the body of a dead American soldier. What does that look like? Who in America knows what that looks like? Because I know what that looks like, and I feel responsible for the fact that no one else does . . . Logans query raised some important yet ignored questions: How did the remains of American service men and women get from the dusty roads of Fallujah to the flag-covered coffins at Dover Air Force Base? And what does the gathering of those remains tell us about the nature of modern warfare and about ourselves? These questions are the focus of Jessica Goodells story Shade It Black: Death and After in Iraq. Goodell enlisted in the Marines immediately after graduating from high school in 2001, and in 2004 she volunteered to serve in the Marine Corps first officially declared Mortuary Affairs unit in Iraq. Her platoon was tasked with recovering and processing the remains of fallen soldiers. With sensitivity and insight, Goodell describes her job retrieving and examining the remains of fellow soldiers lost in combat in Iraq, and the psychological intricacy of coping with their fates, as well as her own. Death assumed many forms during the war, and the challenge of maintaining ones own humanity could be difficult. Responsible for diagramming the outlines of the fallen, if a part was missing she was instructed to shade it black. This insightful memoir also describes the difficulties faced by these Marines when they transition from a life characterized by self-sacrifice to a civilian existence marked very often by self-absorption. In sharing the story of her own journey, Goodell helps us to better understand how post-traumatic stress disorder affects female veterans. With the assistance of John Hearn, she has written one of the most unique accounts of Americas current wars overseas yet seen.

Jess Goodell: author's other books


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Shade It Black Death and After in Iraq Jess Goodell with John Hearn - photo 3
Shade It Black Death and After in Iraq Jess Goodell with John Hearn Table - photo 4Shade It Black Death and After in Iraq Jess Goodell with John Hearn Table - photo 5
Shade It Black
Death and After in Iraq
Jess Goodell
with
John Hearn
Table of Contents To the Marines of the Mortuary Affairs Platoon Camp Al - photo 6
Table of Contents
To the Marines of the Mortuary Affairs Platoon, Camp Al Taqaddum, Iraq, 2004: I told this story to the best of my ability. I tried to tell it as accurately and as honestly as possible. I know that you sheltered me from the greatest threats and shielded me from the most horrific tasks, even though it meant a greater burden for you. That sacrifice, of which I am always aware, has helped me to experience a depth of meaning that I did not know existed. Semper Fi!
Mortuary Affairs bunker in Camp Al Taqaddum Iraq on the right Tent city - photo 7
Mortuary Affairs bunker in Camp Al Taqaddum, Iraq, on the right. Tent city, where many Marines slept and lived, is along the horizon. (Author collection)
Tell me the last time you saw the body of a dead American soldier. What does that look like? Who in America knows what that looks like? Because I know what that looks like, and I feel responsible for the fact that no one else does
Lara Logan,
CBSs Chief Foreign Correspondent, 2008
Diagram used to shade areas of the remains that were missing as well as to - photo 8
Diagram used to shade areas of the remains that were missing, as well as to indicate tattoos and other identifying marks. (Author collection)
Prologue
THE BILL
Wars are not paid for in wartime, the bill comes later.
Benjamin Franklin
Every day for months on end a man in his early twenties, wearing clothes several sizes too big for him, wanders through downtown Baton Rouge. He is looking for something he lost. An emaciated woman, also in her early twenties, sits alone in a Tucson apartment shes been unable to leave for three months. If she could bring herself to leave, she would see a psychologist. A skinny, chronically jobless kid in Oregon is high this afternoon, as always. A thirty-three-year-old living near Boston is arrested for having shot at neighborhood teens through his apartment window. He told police he was afraid they were about to attack his family. Another young man sits in a wheelchair in an Ohio hospital, unable to use his legs after injecting them with drugs in a failed suicide attempt. He texts this message, I have $2,000 in the bank. Lets meet in NYC and go out with a bang.
Most explosions and most deaths occurred on and around bridges The insurgents - photo 9
Most explosions and most deaths occurred on and around bridges. The insurgents hid on top or underneath them and watched as we approached. (Photo courtesy of David Leeson)
To Iraq
WASHINGTON Word was already circulating throughout Washington that the Marines were planning operational changes in Iraq. Without criticizing the Armys heavy-handed tactics on the ground there, the Marines were quietly working on changing operational tactics.
During the Iraq War, I got to know some of their tactics. Their orders from their commanders were to win the hearts and the minds of the Iraqi people. They were tough when they had to be, but also thoughtful and considerate.
But now, as they prepare to relieve the Army in some parts of Iraq, the Marines are formulating new ways to interact with civilians, using restraint in the use of force and emphasizing cultural sensitivity.
Marine commanders, recognize the Iraqi population is angered by current military tactics such as knocking down doors of houses and shops, demolishing buildings, flattening fruit orchards, firing artillery in civilian areas and isolating entire neighborhoods with barbed wire fences
According to an internal Marine document, platoons of Marines soon to arrive in Iraq intend to live among Iraqis in their towns and villages while training the Iraqi police and civil defense forces. These units will resemble an armed version of the Peace Corps, and will be fully informed about Iraqi culture, customs and Islamic traditions.
From: Preparing Marines for Iraq,
by Barbara Ferguson, The Arab News , March 27, 2004
We walked up the ramp of a huge transport plane whose back end opened like a Thanksgiving turkey. Our destination: Kuwait, soon followed by Iraq. We were packed into its fuselage as though we were stuffing, sitting shoulder to shoulder, with the entire side of the body of one person touching the entire side of the body of the next, from shoulders to feet. Identical and attached, we resembled one of those paper people chains that grade school students make. Our knees were touching the knees of the person facing us, so we were boxed in on three sides by strangers. Many of us were wearing earplugs, but even if we had not been, the plane was too loud for conversation and, as Marines, we could not voice our innate human fear. For the eighteen-hour flight, we sat there, against each other, letting our thoughts wander.
When we landed in Kuwait, many of us already had our war face on. Our weapons were on condition 3, magazine inserted, chamber empty, bolt forward, safety on, ejection port cover on. We were on the lookoutbecause here we were, finally, in the Middle East. Young men who worked out every day puffed out their chests and positioned their arms in ways that made their biceps bulge. Smaller men held their M-16s in the same way they had seen Rambo hold his weapon in long ago movies. The Hispanic and Black kids assumed threatening facial expressions and thugged-up their gait, taking up as much space as possible when they rolled by. The White guys clenched their jaws and narrowed their eyes. Every Marines head swiveled continuously, their eyes searching the environment for threats.
In Kuwait, we had to wait for the vehiclesthe Humvees and the seven tons as well as the heavy equipment, the wratches and tramsto arrive before we could set up for the convoy. During the three or so week stay in Kuwait, we trained. A favorite session had us standing in the desert sand in the spots we would have been in had we actually been in real vehicles. I would pretend I was behind the wheel of a Humvee while Copas stood to my right, a foot or so away. Five other Marines positioned themselves behind us, where they would sit as if we were in a vehicle. At random times, Sergeant Johnson would shout out, Ambush, right! and we would all dive into the sand, forming a perimeter. Then we would practice advancing while attacking maneuvers by springing up and lunging forward and back down into the sand. Im up, they see me, Im down, we would repeat to ourselves. For a moment or two it might have seemed like a joke, especially when we were riding along in our invisible Humvee, but at the same time, we each knew that it was possible that in a day or two we would be ambushed and would have to know what to do.
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