Debbie Nelson - My Son Marshall, My Son Eminem: Setting the Record Straight on My Life as Eminems Mother

Copyright 2008 Debbie Nelson and Annette Witheridge

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eBook International Standard Book Number (ISBN): 978-1-61467-143-5
Original Source: Print Edition 2008 (ISBN: 978-1-59777-596-0)
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There was a time not so long ago when I had everything I ever dreamed oftwo loving sons, Marshall and Nathan; a great job running my own limousine business; and several houses Id turned into real homes. No one was prouder than I when Marshall turned his talent for writing poetry into rap. I encouraged him every step of the way. It wasnt easy, and Marshall was no overnight sensation. The skinny white dude, as he called himself, was often laughed off stage and mocked by the hardcore Detroit musicians and radio disc jockeys he was so desperate to impress. Along the route he ditched his first professional name, M&Ma play on his initialsand became Eminem, the foul-mouthed entertainer.

At first I went along with it for Marshalls sakeif I made one mistake as a mother, it was giving in to my eldest sons every whim. He never knew his father, and I did all I could to make up for it. I wasnt happy when he made up a whole new life for himselfwhat mother wants to be known as a pill-popping alcoholic who lives on welfare? To tell the truth, I was heartbroken. The lies started coming thick and fastand not just from Marshall. Relatives claimed Id abandoned him as a baby; his father alleged hed spent years trying to find us but wed just disappeared. None of it was true, but the fibs kept getting bigger, and ultimately Marshall and I became estranged. I think hes forgotten the good times we had, and this book is my way of setting the record straight.

As a child, Marshall would tear around the house in a Batman cape, jump on the sofa to battle imaginary foes, and then crash exhausted onto my lap. Our home was full of music. Marshall mimed in front of the mirror. He filled notebooks with poetry and cartoon-superhero drawings. Between the ages of eleven and thirteen, he charged younger kids twenty-five cents to watch him break-dance. He doted on his little brother, Nathan, who copied everything he did. Nathan too loved Ninja Turtles and superheroes.

Marshall and I were so close that friends and relatives commented that it was as if the umbilical cord had never been cut. He confided in me throughout his teens; no subject was taboo. When he came home deflated, I told him he could achieve anything he wanted.

Kim says Im a nobody, nothing but a hamburger flipper, he said after one especially brutal falling-out with his girlfriend when he was working as a $5.50-an-hour fast-food chef.

As everyone knows, Marshall proved his critics wrong. He became the biggest star in the music world, with an Oscar, nine Grammy awards, and countless MTV trophies to his name. Hes a billion-dollar industry and has broken numerous sales records. With the release of the film 8 Mile in 2002, he became the only artist ever to top the movie, album, and singles charts at the same time. He is constantly compared to Elvis Presley, who a generation earlier turned the music of poor black people into mainstream entertainment. Marshall did the same with rapbut it came at an unimaginable price, not only to him but also to all of us who loved him.

After his first album, Infinite , flopped, he reinvented himself as white trailer trash with a crazy welfare mom. I was shocked when I first heard his lyricsMarshall rarely swore much in front of me. But he constantly reassured me it was all a big joke.

The more foul I am, the more they love me, he said.

And so began the great Eminem show.

Many things have been said about my son since he rocketed to fame in 1999 with The Slim Shady LP . American president George W. Bush called him the most dangerous threat to American children since polio. Learned professors have dissected his lyrics, andunbelievably to mehis concerts have been likened to Hitler Youth rallies because of the way he supposedly whips up anger. Hes also been compared to the poets Robert Burns and Gerard Manley Hopkins. Depending on whom you believe, hes a woman-hating, gay-bashing gangster, or a genius with a talent for irony.

Marshall and Nathan were among the people who inspired me to write this book when they started asking me about my own childhood. They knew Id had a difficult life and wanted to know more. Id hidden my struggles to bring them up because I never wanted to worry them about anything. I often juggled several jobs to make sure they had everything they wanted. Then Marshall confessed that he was so strung out on alcohol and drugs that he could recall nothing of 1999. The hits, the concerts, and even his first wedding were all a blur.

No one prepares you for the downside of celebrity. There isnt a school for would-be stars and their families where you can learn about the pitfalls. Marshall says fame brought a slew of problems he never expected. He no longer trusts anyone. Everyone wants a piece of Eminem the megastar, not Marshall Mathers the man. I call these people the circling vultures: they spot dollar signs and swoop in for the kill.

My son never intended for me to become an object of hatred. He did not want to believe it when he discovered that fans spat at me in the supermarket and stuck chewing gum in my hair. Its not just the fans; their parents sneer at me too because they do not realize that Marshall was reared in a loving, creative environment. Im not saying I was the perfect motherfar from it, as you will readbut I did my best.

Ive been described as much maligned. Misunderstood is more accurate. Strangers assume they know me because of songs like Cleanin Out My Closet (Im Sorry Mama), but until now, only Marshall and I knew the truth. It wasnt just the hurtful things involving alcohol and drugs. Everyone believed I was an evil, abusive monster. Even professionals like police officers, court officials, and hospital staff treated me badly because of what theyd heard about me.

Over the following chapters Ill not only explain how I came to be tarred as a pill-popping alcoholic but will also tell the real stories behind my sons lyrics, along with the happy times and the tragedies that touched our lives. Two of my three brothers died young, violent deaths. I want to tell their stories, too. Im a fighter, and I will never give up. My beloved Nan had a wonderful old saying: The truth will stand when the worlds on fire. This book is all about that.

I was fourteen going on thirty when I fell in love with Marshall Bruce Mathers, Junior. Id climbed a big old apple tree to escape my drunken stepfather when Bruce suddenly appeared. He squared up to my stepfather and told him hed regret it if he ever hit me again.

Bruce was four years older than I wasa lean six-foot-two with beautiful long brown hair that he wore in a ponytail. He played the drums and was crazy about Jimi Hendrix and The Doors. Lots of girls in Saint Joseph, Missouri, had the hots for him. I was a skinny little tomboy with a bad overbite, so the last thing I expected was a romance with someone as tall and strong as Bruce. But that day changed everything. He offered me something no one had offered beforeprotection from my family.