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Erik J. Van Slyke - Listening to Conflict: Finding Constructive Solutions to Workplace Disputes

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Listening to Conflict: Finding Constructive Solutions to Workplace Disputes: summary, description and annotation

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Sometimes the most obvious solution is the most effective one--and the one least considered. Take conflict resolution. Its not the persuading, cajoling, arguing, or even trying to win thats going to solve the problem. Instead, the key to finding effective, lasting solutions to combative disputes is simply to listen. Listening, as author Erik J. Van Slyke defines it, isnt the same thing as nodding your head in passive agreement. To really work, listening has got to be active and empathetic. Its got to lead to a sincere understanding of the other partys motivation and objectives--and to be the foundation for taking positive, constructive steps towards resolution. And thats exactly what this unique, refreshing book will help you do. Filled with original exercises, examples, and models, Listening to Conflict shows you how to successfully resolve workplace disputes by practicing and perfecting the art of listening. Youll find probing insights and step-by-step guidelines on how to: * Develop self-awareness--or listening to ourselves, understanding our preferences, perceptions, and resulting behaviors--to set the stage for better relationships * Turn self-awareness into self-mastery, thus changing the action/reaction cycle that so often leads to an impasse during disputes * Use empathetic listening techniques to convey understanding and encourage open communication * Incorporate listening into a six-step collaborative resolution process * Create a culture of constructive conflict * And more. And Listening to Conflict helps you solve not only your own conflicts. Youll also learn to referee disputes between employees, co-workers, customers, suppliers, or even senior managers. By putting this listening-based approach into action, youll establish your position as an objective mediator...youll guide combative parties towards constructive solutions...and youll build the kind of productive relationships that dont allow natural conflicts to deteriorate into destructive disagreements. Everyone has to deal with workplace disputes. Theyre forever simmering under the surface, sometimes even boiling over in nasty explosions. But while conflicts are inescapable, they ARE solvable. Not by fighting or sulking or bullying, but by learning to employ the powerful art of listening.

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title Listening to Conflict Finding Constructive Solutions to Workplace - photo 1

title:Listening to Conflict : Finding Constructive Solutions to Workplace Disputes
author:Van Slyke, Erik J.
publisher:AMACOM Books
isbn10 | asin:0814404294
print isbn13:9780814404294
ebook isbn13:9780585053189
language:English
subjectConflict management, Problem solving.
publication date:1999
lcc:HD42.V36 1999eb
ddc:658.4/053
subject:Conflict management, Problem solving.
Listening to Conflict
Finding Constructive Solutions to Workplace Disputes
Erik J. Van Slyke
Amacom
American Management Association
New York Boston Chicago Kansas City San Francisco Washington, D.C. Brussels Mexico City Tokyo Toronto
This book is available at a special discount when ordered in bulk quantities. For information, contact Special Sales Department, AMACOM, an imprint of AMA Publications, a division of American Management Association, 1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional service. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Van Slyke, Erik J.
Listening to conflict: finding constructive solutions to workplace
disputes / Erik J. Van Slyke.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 0-8144-0429-4
1. Conflict management. 2. Problem solving. I. Title.
HD42.V36 1999
658.4'053dc21Picture 2Picture 3Picture 4Picture 598-31116
Picture 6Picture 7Picture 8Picture 9Picture 10Picture 11CIP
1999 Erik J. Van Slyke.
All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America.
This publication may not be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in whole or in part, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of AMACOM, an imprint of AMA Publications, a division of American Management Association, 1601 Broadway, New York, NY 10019.
Printing number
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
For Terri, who always listens
Page vii
Contents
Preface
ix
Acknowledgments
xiii
1. Understanding Conflict
1
Picture 12
Definition of Conflict
5
Picture 13
Factors Affecting Conflict
14
Picture 14
Conclusions
31
2. Listening to Ourselves
33
Picture 15
Developing Self-Awareness
34
Picture 16
Identifying Your Interpersonal Zones
42
Picture 17
Conclusions
64
3. Principles of Interaction
65
Picture 18
Discipline, Desire, and Patience
70
Picture 19
Detached Responsibility
73
Picture 20
Acceptance
79
Picture 21
Mutual Gain
86
Picture 22
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