Giblin - How to Have Confidence and Power in Dealing With People

HOW TO HAVE
CONFIDENCE
AND POWER IN
DEALING WITH PEOPLE

Les Giblin

PRENTICE HALL PRESS

PRENTICE HALL PRESS

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PRINTING HISTORY

Prentice Hall trade paperback edition / 1956

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Giblin, Les.

How to have confidence and power in dealing with people /

Les Giblin.

ISBN: 978-1-101-65924-3

I. Title.

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To my wife Gretchen
and my mother Elizabeth
whose inspiration, guidance, and
help made this book possible

Lets be honest about it: we do want things from other people. We want other peoples good will and friendship. We want their acceptance and recognition.

A businessman wants business from other people. A husband and wife want love and affection from each other. A parent wants obedience. A child wants security and love. A salesman wants other people to sign their names on a dotted line. A boss wants loyalty, production, cooperation. An employee wants recognition and credit for what he does.

Every normal human being wants success and happiness. Have you ever thought about the fact that other people play an important part in any real success or happiness that we enjoy? It is largely through our dealings with other people that we become successful. And regardless of what your definition of happiness may be, a little thought will convince you that your own happiness is largely dependent upon the sort of relationships you have with other people.

Why not go after what you want?

Lets not apologize for the fact that we need what other people have to offer. Lets not apologize for the fact that we want to be successful in our dealings with others.

Instead, lets get together in this book and have a heart-to-heart talk about how you can go about getting what you want from other people.

I have no Pollyanna theories about how people ought to act, and no gimmicks or gizmoes for getting along with others by keeping down your own desires.

Instead, I want to tell you in this book some things I have discovered about how human beings do act and react, and how you can use these things to get what you want, whether it is a raise from your boss, an order from a prospect, or good will from a new neighbor.

It has been said that Knowledge is power. Knowledge about human nature as it isnot as theorists say it ought to becan help you get what you want from other people.

The methods presented in this book do not represent any high-flung theories that I dreamed up, but represent tested methods and techniques that grew out of many years work in my human relations clinics. They have proved themselves in the lives of thousands of people.

These methods may upset some popular ideas.

But they do have one advantage: They work!

Everybody wins; nobody loses

Thousands of people know that they want things from other people. But they are timid in going after what they want in the fear that satisfying their own desires would be selfish. They instinctively feel that securing success and happiness for themselves would necessarily mean depriving some other human being of some success or happiness.

Lets get one thing straight: successful human relations means giving the other fellow something he wants in return for something you want. Any other method of dealing with people simply doesnt work. The reader who has no scruples about taking what he wants from other people without giving something in return does not need a book on human relations.

This book is written for those thousands of people who would like to master the art of getting what they want from the other fellowand making the other fellow happy about it.

The three basic methods of dealing with people

No human being is self-sufficient. Each of us needs things that other people have to offer. You have things that other people need. All our dealings with other people are based upon these needs. There are only three basic ways in which we deal with other people:

You can take what you need from the other fellow by force, threats, intimidation, or by outsmarting him. Although criminals naturally fall in this category, many respectable people employ this method in more subtle ways.

You can become a human relations beggar, and beg other people to give you the things you want. This submissive type of personality makes a deal with other people: I wont assert myself in any way or cause you any trouble, and in return you be nice to me.

You can operate upon a basis of fair exchange, or give-and-take. You make it your business to give other people things they want and need, and invariably they will turn around and give you the things you need.

How to tap your unused assets

You wont find anything in this book about the first two methods mentioned above. Instead, you will learn tested methods for getting what you want by giving other people what they want.

Right now you have in abundance many things that other people want. Offer these things to other people and they will gladly give you success and happiness in return. Maybe you have never fully realized that you possess valuable assets that other people are hungry for. I want to tell you about these assets in this book.

You can get what you want and help others at the same time

For many years, we have assumed that if we attempted to satisfy our own desires for success and happiness, we would of necessity deprive some other person of satisfying his own wants. But the evidence all points in the other direction.

A happy human being is more likely to spread happiness than an unhappy human being. A prosperous human being is more likely to benefit those with whom he deals than is a chronic failure. A person who has reasonably satisfied his own desires is much more generous and considerate in taking into account the desires of others than is a person whose every desire has been frustrated.