Rueter - 185 Stupid Things Democrats Have Said

Stupid Things
Democrats
Have Said

185 Stupid Things Democrats Have Said
copyright 2008 by Ted Rueter. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews. For information, write Andrews McMeel Publishing, LLC, an Andrews McMeel Universal company, 1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106.

E-ISBN: 978-1-4494-0942-5

Library of Congress Control Number:
2007935539

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Affirmative Action

Weve been told we had three minutes. My good friend Senator Edwards spoke for five. So Joe Lieberman told me that, in the spirit of affirmative action, I get seven.

Al Sharpton (2004 presidential candidate), at a candidates forum

African-Americans

African-Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.

Bill Clinton (president, 19932001), on Black Entertainment Television

America

Of course, I love many things American, including the food. You know, I used to work in a Howard Johnsons restaurant.

Hillary Rodham Clinton (first lady, 19932001)

God bless the America we are trying to create.

Hillary Rodham Clinton

Answers

I should have had a circuitous answer that was a nonanswer.

Geraldine Ferraro (1984 vice presidential nominee), on her intended replies to media inquiries about her familys finances

Antenna

I have a pretty good antenna for people who are chauvinistic or sexist or patronizing toward women.

Hillary Rodham Clinton (first lady, 19932001)

Anticipation

I remember you telling me earlier today that you were looking forward to not talking much today. I was looking forward to it, too.

Randy Ewing (Louisiana state senator, 19882000), to Republican Louisiana state senator John Hainkel

Arnold

Dont run. You will be terminated.

Willie Brown (mayor of San Francisco, 19962004), on Arnold Schwarzeneggers prospects as a gubernatorial candidate

Schwarzenegger is going to find out that, unlike a Hollywood movie set, the bullets coming at him in this campaign are going to be real bullets.

Bob Mulholland (campaign adviser, California Democratic Party), during the 2003 gubernatorial recall campaign. Mulholland apologized for this remark.

Artillery

Ive got recon out there. Ive got some heavy artillery that can come in. Ive got good logistics, and Ive got strategic mobility.

Wesley Clark (2004 presidential candidate), a retired four-star general, asked if his late entry into the presidential race presented problems

Aspirations

I think I would like to be a better dancer.

Al Gore (vice president, 19932001)

BackScratching

The kind of thing Im good at is knowing every politician in the state and remembering where he itches. And I know where to scratch him.

Earl Long (three-term governor of Louisiana)

Base Closings

We will not close any bases that are not needed.

Les Aspin (secretary of defense, 199394)

Bimbo Eruptions

Who is going to find out? These women are trash. Nobodys going to believe them.

Hillary Rodham Clinton (first lady, 19932001), during the 1992 presidential campaign, commenting on her husbands affairs

Osama bin Laden

One could say that Osama bin Laden and these non-nation-state fighters with religious purposes are very similar to those kind of atypical revolutionaries that helped to cut off the British crown.

Marcy Kaptur (representative from Ohio, 1983), comparing bin Laden to the founding fathers. She later apologized for the statement.

Hes been out in these countries for decades building roads, building schools, building infrastructure, building day-care facilities, building health-care facilities, and the people are extremely grateful. It made their lives better.

Patty Murray (senator from Washington, 1993), speaking to a high school honors class. Two days later, she issued a statement that Osama bin Laden is an evil terrorist.

This guy has more videos than a rock star.

Al Sharpton (2004 presidential candidate)

Boats

I wanted to have Playboy bunnies come on at night to meet with me. I wanted to be promiscuous with them.

James Traficant (representative from Ohio, 19852002), explaining why he kept a boat docked in the Potomac River

Brushes

People say Ive had brushes with the law. Thats not true. Ive had brushes with overzealous prosecutors.

Edwin Edwards (four-term governor of Louisiana), on his twelfth grand jury probe in a decade

Carol Moseley Braun

This so boggles the mind that one wonders whether we ought to be instituting some mental competency test to people before they announce theyre running for president.

Gerald Austin (political consultant), on Carol Moseley Brauns running for president in 2004

Budget Deficit

If it were a movie, it would be Honey, I Shrunk the Surplus.

Hillary Rodham Clinton (senator from New York, 2001), on President George W. Bushs handling of the federal budget

Burglary

The Democratic Party, all the candidates from Washington, they all know each other, they all move in the same circles, and what Im doing is breaking into the country club.

Howard Dean (2004 presidential candidate), several days after his seventeen-year-old son was arrested for breaking into a country club

George W. Bush

The difference between Martin Sheen [on the television drama The West Wing] and George W. Bush is Martin Sheen is actually convincing when he acts like hes the president.