David Murray - An Effort To Understand: Hearing One Another (and Ourselves) in a Nation Cracked in Half

In his straight-forward, tell-it-like-it-is style, author and Ohio native David Murray offers his personal and professional insight into how communication is a tool for all of usnot so much as politicians, business leaders, parents, or friends, but just as humans to better understand each other and ourselves. Through anecdotes, stories, and personal experience, Murray teaches us that how we talk is as important as what we say. Sharp, witty, and entertaining, Effort to Understand is a funbut equally instructiveread!

M IKE D E W INE , Governor of Ohio

In an America divided by race and religion, class and culture, identity and ideology, David Murray urges us all to make an effort to understand each other. With decades of experience in organizational communications, Murray examines public speeches, from political candidates to corporate CEOs, for clues to how we all can better express ourselves and empathize with friends, family members, coworkers, and fellow citizens. And he enriches his analysis with engaging stories from work-life, parenthood, and Chicago life.

D AVID K USNET , chief speechwriter for President Bill Clinton and author of Speaking American

In these hyperpartisan and polarized times, Americans interested in building bridges to each other rather than forever manning the ramparts can find no better instruction than the intelligent, absorbing new book by veteran communications expert David Murray. A smart and persuasive guide for how to communicate effectively to political opposites.

M ARK S ALTER , author of The Luckiest Man: Life with John McCain

The ultimate communicators analysis of how to bridge the gaps in our understanding of each other, no matter how great the divide. We just need the right phrases at the right moment. And the ability to listenreally listen. Reassuring, insightful, practical, and wise, David Murray serves up an insiders guide to our better selves and the words that can lead the way there.

V IV G ROSKOP , author of How to Own the Room: Women and the Art of Brilliant Speaking

Whenever David published one of my speeches in Vital Speeches of the Day, it always felt like validation that I had gotten it right. In this collection of his own writing, David gets it exactly rightif we as a nation are to heal, we need to make an effort to understand all the things we have in common, and relate to how and why we differ. This collection of essays is for the people who wont give up the hope that we can.

J AMES R. C LAPPER , former director of National Intelligence

An Effort to Understand is compelling, instructive, inspirational, and timely. David Murrays reflections on communicationby leaders, among citizens, and between friends and family memberscome at a time when it is clear that forthright, civil, and thoughtful communication is desperately needed. David helped a gifted, talented battlefield colleague of mine, who received a fatal medical diagnosis, write the New York Times best seller Tell My Sons before my comrade died, and he has helped countless others over the years, as well. Now David writes over his name on one of the most pressing issues of the daythe need for all of us to engage each other respectfully, thoughtfully, and openly. His words could not be more important.

G ENERAL D AVID P ETRAEUS , former commander of the surge in Iraq, US Central Command, and Coalition Forces in Afghanistan, and former director of the CIA

Whether you are a staunch Democrat who starts the day with Morning Joe or a firm Republican who begins the morning with the folks on the white couch on Fox & Friends, you know that part of being a patriot is listening to the differing views of fellow citizens. In this most American book, writer David Murray teaches you how to make your own truly honest Effort to Understand.

A DMIRAL J AMES G. S TAVRIDIS (Ret.), former European Supreme Allied Commander, NATO

David Murray says great communication requires great listening. He may not be the first to make this observation, but he may be the only one to explain how to do it: with focus, intent and goodwill. Sounds straightforward, but few explain it so clearly. And fewer of us actually do it. We live in a time of polarization. Research makes clear we dont even talk to people with differing political views. Thats a problem for each of us and for our country. I hope everyone reads Davids compelling book and applies the lessons in real life. Well be better off for it.

B OB F ELDMAN , founder, The Dialogue Project

This is high-level entertainment that will improve your moral character. It is a wonderful defense of truth telling in our sordid post-truth time.

T OM G EOGHEGAN , labor lawyer and author of Which Side Are You On: Trying to Be for Labor When Its Flat on Its Back

Published by Disruption Books

New York, NY

www.disruptionbooks.com

Copyright 2021 by David Murray

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission from the copyright holder. Requests for permission should be directed to . Distributed by Disruption Books

For ordering information or special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact

Disruption Books at .

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Murray, David, (speechwriter) author.

Title: An effort to understand : hearing one another (and ourselves) in a nation cracked in half / David Murray.

Description: First edition. | New York : Disruption Books, 2021. | Summary: What we say, what we dont, and why it matters. This new collection of essays from rhetoric authority and celebrated writing blogger David Murray applies his signature blend of humor and heart to a free-wheeling conversation about how we communicate in America. With essays like We Deserve Leaders Who Act Like They Like Us, and Speaking Truth to Power: Talking to Myself, Murrays words give readers a window into everyday American discoursefrom the backroads of rural Illinois to the carpeted halls of the C-suite. Guided by an ear for the lessons of history, An Effort to Understand shows that the personal and political gulfs between us are small compared to our common desire to connect. American discord is nothing new, but we have a chance at trust, peace, and solidarity if we make an effort to speak more honestly and listen to understand.Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2020032602 | ISBN 9781633310483 (trade paperback) | ISBN 9781633310490 (epub)

Subjects: LCSH: CommunicationSocial aspectsUnited States. | CommunicationPolitical aspectsUnited States. | Communication and cultureUnited States. | Interpersonal communicationUnited States.

Classification: LCC HM1206 .M88 2021 | DDC 302.2dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020032602

Print ISBN: 978-1-63331-048-3

eBook ISBN: 978-1-63331-049-0

Cover and text design by Kimberly Lance

First Edition

To the communicators.

D o they know about Martin Luther King?