Pushpendra Mehta - OBSERVE to UNMASK: 100 Small Things to Know People Better

Observe to Unmask by Pushpendra Mehta

Copyright @ 2020 by Pushpendra Mehta

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Kindle Direct Publishing.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without the express permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews. This includes reprints, excerpts, photocopying, recording, or any future means of reproducing texts. If you would like to do any of the above, please seek permission first by contacting us at pushpendramehtausa@gmail.com

Edited by Elizabeth Barrett

ISBN 979-8653727696

To:

God, for the gift of writing, intuition, and reflection you so graciously blessed me with.

The British author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, for combining his love of science and literature to create the memorable fictional detective character, Sherlock Holmes, that influenced me to observe human behavior carefully and to blend my love for writing and self-discovery.

Pursue your passion, work with your intuition,

learn as a child, and adapt as water.

Pushpendra Mehta,
The Suitable Inheritor

Introduction

In March 2019, when I answered a questionWhat small thing can tell you a lot about a person?that was posted on Quora, a popular question-and-answer website, little did I realize that my answer would get over 1 million views. This was attained without any paid advertising on my part.

Spurred by the engaging response, I decided to expand on my answer and create a short book that would serve as an instant reference to help readers observe the small yet important things to know people, including themselves, better, and to benefit from these insights for a happier and more fulfilling life.

For as long as I can remember, I have been an observer. Perhaps because I was raised to notice the minutest aspects of life, I started to observe people, their mindsets, their subtle emotions and feelings, as much as I watched myself, my frailties, ego trips, and inward and outward journeys.

I was also influenced by Sir Arthur Conan Doyles famed fictional detective character, Sherlock Holmes. Some of Doyles books on Holmes led me to believe that human behavior is remarkably complicated and there is much to be discovered about people. So observe and notice became my credo to understand and uncover people in my mind. In time, this would sharpen my ability to draw conclusions quickly and accurately from the smallest observations.

I was always a sensitive person. That explains why I am a writer, storyteller, marketer, and mentor. If you cannot feel deeply, you cannot write, create content, narrate stories, promote services, and provide advice or guidance that resonates with the intended audience.

Observation is a solitary activity. I speak less, query more, and listen intently. This helps me notice more and know better the people I interact or associate with, regardless of what they share or discuss with me. It also enhances awareness of my own thoughts and feelings.

Through the years, I learned to train myself to get into peoples minds to understand the obvious, the unspoken, or the concealed, which is more an exercise to know closely their character, personality, temperament, interests, strengths, weaknesses, and, perhaps, to get a glimpse of their future. And so I have, through trial and error, practice, the ups and downs of life, my exposure to the East and the West, and my interaction with the privileged and the underprivileged, gotten better at reading people. This has facilitated the creation of this quick-read book to highlight the small things that can help you know someone better. These are small because you really have to notice carefully in order to see them.

Most of us wear a mask, a social mask to hide who we really are and what were feeling, to protect ourselves, to avoid conflicts, or to masquerade a personality trait that wouldnt otherwise be appreciated or accepted. The fear that the world is going to find us out leads us to adorn a mask. This displays us in the best possible lightgiving, kind, confident, secure, and humble.

We may pretend we have it all together, that everything is perfect, but the mask has cracks in it. By being more observant and aware, we can read people, not just what they say, but who they are. We can see past their masks to the real person. Remember, behind every social mask is a story.

Most of us have four sides to our personality. One we keep hidden inside. The second is what we show our immediate family, partner, best friend, and household staff. The third is exhibited in front of extended family, close friends, peers, colleagues, and coworkers; and the fourth is presented to the rest of the world. This makes it difficult to truly know what is in someones mind and heart. But people communicate through words, silence, feelings, vibes, motives, appearances, and more.

Observe to Unmask attempts to uncover different aspects of human emotions and behavior that will help you develop relationships or associations that work for you; that assist you in comprehending an individuals backstory; prevent you from being exploited, abused, manipulated, or lied to; make you more self-aware of your own blind spots and overcome them; and aid you in distancing yourself from certain harmful people, or avoiding them as much as possible.

Observe to Unmask is based on my understanding from the school of hard knocks and the resultant game of life and relationships, including extensive reading, questioning, conversations, and listening. I like to analyze people and their interests, beliefs, preferences, struggles and failures, accomplishments and accolades, choices in words and communication styles, the circumstances that made them become who they are today, and the reasons that led them to make certain choices or decisions.

This book is not backed by data or scientific evidence. It is based on my experience and intuitive insights. You are welcome to accept, condone, reject, or condemn my observations. I am not a know-it-all, and I dont claim that my observations and experiences are superior to yours or cant be different from yours. I can only urge you to read Observe to Unmask with an open mind and test each of its one hundred insights to arrive at your own conclusion.

We all have an ego. When I introspected on my ego and had an honest conversation with myself, I realized this book has come to fruition largely because at some point in time, I have been guilty of being arrogant, insensitive, inconsiderate, insecure, and superficial. I have had my failures, I have made poor choices, I have made judgment errors, and I have had my anxious or uncertain moments.

In equal measure, a number of insights in this book have come about because of my penchant for risk-taking, continual experiments, and my learning and change. All of this has been fraught with pain, triumphs, reflection, and reform. Also, what helped me put this book together is a career that embraced diverse experiences and opportunities to develop, wherein I have spent years studying leaders, consultants, gurus, and entrepreneurs, trying to discern what made them become the person they are today.

Questions fuel curiosity and impel us to seek insights about human nature: Who is the best person to ask for advice? Does a persons group of friends define who he or she is? Does money matter, or is it the root of all evil? Is a person attention seeking or paying attention? How do we identify an authentic spiritual guru? Insights into these questions and more find their way into the book.

It may appear that this book is about identifying egoists and egotists, or the perfect person. It isnt so. The book is not directed toward a particular person. Its aim is to encourage self-observation, because to observe means to first observe yourself and then observe others. This will help you effectively unmask your ego, and also make you more sensitive to the feelings, emotions, and thoughts of the people around you.