Wendy M. Christensen - Mothers of the Military: Support and Politics during Wartime

Mothers of the Military

Wendy M. Christensen

ROWMAN & LITTLEFIELD

Lanham Boulder New York London

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Printed in the United States of America

This book is dedicated to the
mothers of service members.
May it help make your burden less invisible.

This book would not be possible without the mothers who opened their lives to me, describing their experiences of having a child in the military. They responded to questions and emails during often the most difficult moments of their own liveswhen they were worried about their deployed children, or providing medical care to someone returned from deployment. To this day I remain in awe of their strength and grateful for their willingness to share with me.

This project has been shaped and supported by a number of mentors and colleagues. The project began as my dissertation research. Myra Marx Ferree was my mentor from the beginning of this project; she guided me through many incarnations and revisions with endless enthusiasm and support. Joey Sprague first asked me, years after I finished my dissertation, when the project would become a book, pushing me to write a prospectus. I am indebted to the mentorship of these and many other women in Sociologists for Women in Society.

Many others provided mentoring, feedback, and coaching throughout this process. My faculty writing group at William Paterson University read early chapters, assuring me that they indeed sounded like a book. My Sunday Meeting group (Denise Copelton, Laura Logan, Kylie Parrotta, and Trina Smith) supported my writing process from start to finish, encouraging me every step of the way.

I could not have written this book without the love of my family. My parents, brother, and sister have encouraged and supported every step of my education and academic career. And finally, my partner, Jo. She read every chapter from dissertation to book more times than I can count, providing feedback and editing. Jo cheered me on during the entire writing process, and kept me grounded and entertained when I needed breaks. I literally could not have written this book without her love and support.

My first thought was utter terror. How could my baby boy put himself in constant danger of being killed? How could he do that to me? He told me he was thinking about his future, but all I could think about was why he wanted to fight in a war so many were dying in.

Barbara

When Barbara learned of her sons plans to join the armed forces, she was unsure how to react. Even though it was 2004 and the United States had been engaged in the War on Terrorism for three years, with no close relatives in the military Barbara admitted that she had never thought much about war. Chriss announcement was a shock and her immediate reaction was one of panic that her son was making the wrong choice and that he would be in danger.

Barbara is divorced, estranged from her ex-husband, and Chris is her only child. When Chris did not know what he wanted to do with his life, he dropped out of college and was living with his mother and working at a warehouse for minimum wage. Becoming a Marine was the first major decision Barbara had ever seen her son make.

He told her about his plans one afternoon before going to work, leaving a pamphlet on the kitchen table from the recruiter with whom he had been in touch for the past few weeks. The flyer for Marine Parents described the kind of success young people could have as Marines and included pictures of proud parents posed with their children in uniform. She did feel proud of his sudden sense of direction, but the panic and worry would not subside. She went to the website on the brochure to learn for herself what the Marines were about.

Barbaras story is typical for mothers of current service members. With the surge of military recruitment and enrollment after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Barbaras reaction to her sons enlistment has played out the same way for thousands of military families across the country. Military families today may differ in terms of whether there are two parents, a history of military service, or knowledge about war, but the mixed reactions of panic, worry, and pride are nearly universal.

But during the current war these reactions are not experienced by all Americans. Unlike World War II, when the entire country was called on to play a role in the wara cast of millions including everyone from schoolchildren to womenthose connected to the War on Terrorism are a much smaller, more isolated segment of the population (only 1 percent of the US population has served since 2001). The families of service members, especially those unlikely to live on military bases, end up feeling more and more removed from their neighbors, friends, and communities as they worry about their loved ones lives in Iraq and Afghanistan. Most Americans go on with their lives as usual, while military families lives are far from usual.

When Chris enlisted in the Marines, Barbaras life changed significantly. This book talks about the journey of change mothers go through when their children join the armed forces. Barbara may not have thought much about war or the military before her childs enlistment, but after his enlistment she found herself reading about basic training and learning military terminology and procedure.

Barbara was also not particularly involved in politics before Chris joined the military. When she voted, it was usually for Democratic candidates. Having a son in the military made her more aware of the war, though. She started to watch the news daily. She met a few mothers when she took Chris to boot camp and kept in touch with them by phone and email.