Robyn Steward - The Independent Womans Handbook for Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum

Robyn has written a brilliant, no nonsense, straight-talking guide about how to navigate the daunting world of people and relationships not just the obvious stuff, but the subtle things that women on the autistic spectrum are likely to stumble into trouble with. This is a useful book for women themselves and those looking out for them.

Sarah Hendrickx, Hendrickx Associates, freelance
Trainer and Consultant in autistic spectrum conditions,
author of several books on Asperger syndrome

It does not matter how bright a young person on the spectrum is, you cannot send them out into the world without skills for living, loving and resilience. Robyns book comes framed with experience and the personal knowledge that autism does not stop with childhood Knowledge keeps us all safe This is a book everyone who works with teenagers and young adults with autism should have as a reference and it forms an essential resource for women with autism, providing the kind of insight only a woman on the spectrum could provide.

Lynne Moxon, Chartered Psychologist who teaches socio
sexual skills, Senior Lecturer, University of Northumbria

This book provides a how-to guide for spotting unsafe situations while offering concrete tips for safer living for women on the autism spectrum. Spoken from the voice of a young woman with autism, readers will be given practical strategies for navigating socially vulnerable relationships and situations a useful tool for helping independent women living on the spectrum stay safe.

Dr Elizabeth Laugeson, author of The Science of
Making Friends , Assistant Clinical Professor, UCLA, Founder and Director, UCLA
PEERS Clinic

A woman on the autism spectrum who lives in a big city such as London has perhaps an intensified need for clarity in the issue of safety, and an insight others might not possess. Like the underground system she loves, Robyn Steward has created the equivalent of a colour-coded tube map to help you navigate a variety of situations. But this is more than just a list of dos and donts Robyns intelligent, yet clear and personable voice makes it a compelling and enjoyable read.

Rudy Simone, author of Aspergirls , 22 Things a Woman
Must Know If She Loves a Man with Aspergers
Syndrome and 22 Things a Woman with Aspergers
Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know

Robyn has addressed the subject of safety for women on the autistic spectrum in a very creative way. She is open and honest when discussing sensitive topics and has collected together a wealth of practical, common sense information based on her experiences and of others on the autistic spectrum. Of particular interest is her chapter on the internet and digital information sharing, which is currently very relevant for any woman, not just those on the spectrum. This book is a must read for helping woman navigate the social complexities of life.

Dr Judith Gould, Consultant Clinical Psychologist and
Director of the NAS Lorna Wing Centre for Autism

The Independent Womans Handbook for
Super Safe Living on the Autistic Spectrum

of related interest

The Aspie Girls Guide to Being Safe with Men

The Unwritten Safety Rules No-one is Telling You

Debi Brown

Foreword by Sarah Attwood

ISBN 978 1 84905 354 9

eISBN 978 0 85700 703 2

Safety Skills for Asperger Women

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eISBN 978 0 85700 327 0

Aspergirls

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ISBN 978 1 84905 826 1

eISBN 978 0 85700 289 1

The Complete Guide to Getting a Job for People with Aspergers Syndrome

Find the Right Career and Get Hired

Barbara Bissonnette

ISBN 978 1 84905 921 3

eISBN 978 0 85700 692 9

Love, Sex and Long-Term Relationships

What People with Asperger Syndrome Really Really Want

Sarah Hendrickx

Foreword by Stephen Shore

ISBN 978 1 84310 605 0

eISBN 978 1 84642 764 0

Making Sense of Sex

A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Aspergers Syndrome

Sarah Attwood

Illustrated by Jonathon Powell

ISBN 978 1 84310 374 5

eISBN 978 1 84642 797 8

THE INDEPENDENT
WOMANS HANDBOOK

FOR SUPER SAFE
LIVING ON THE

AUTISTIC
SPECTRUM

Robyn Steward

Jessica Kingsley Publishers
London and Philadelphia

First published in 2014

by Jessica Kingsley Publishers

73 Collier Street

London N1 9BE, UK

and

400 Market Street, Suite 400

Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA

www.jkp.com

Copyright Robyn Steward 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 610 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Applications for the copyright owners written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher.

Warning: The doing of an unauthorized act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution.

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data

A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress

British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

ISBN 978 1 84905 399 0

eISBN 978 0 85700 765 0

This book is dedicated to three people.

Mum and Dad: You are two amazing people, and I am lucky to have you. Thank you for always loving and accepting me for who I am. For being so proactive throughout my life and never giving up on me. For letting me try, fail and try again.

And MF: For making me not feel alone, for sharing things we both like. Most importantly, for forgiving me when I get things wrong and for connecting with me. It means a lot!

Acknowledgements

This is my first book in a career that spans almost a decade so there are a lot of people to thank!

All the women who filled out my surveys, Jessica Kingsley, Micheline Ellison Steinberg, Robin, Sam and Theo Ellison, Niall and Isabel Spooner Harvey, Judith Gould, Wendy Lawson, Katy Ladbrook, Gad Roberts, Lynn Moxon, Sarah Hendrickx, Rudy Simone, the Autcast community, Gloria and David Steward, Dr Elizabeth Laugeson, Dr Alex Gantman, Carol Povey, Mark Lever, Anna Nicholson, Dr Tony Attwood, Temple Grandin, Lisa Clark, Lucy Buckroyd, Lisa (Zaffy) Simone, my purple hat, William Davenport, Pete Langdon, Ian Ensum, Glenys Jones, NAS (National Autistic Society), Danusia Latosinski, Rudy Simone, Matt Eaves, Hal MacLean, Creative Learning Systems, Mark Wallis, Julie Ballam, Isabelle Hesse, Hannah Barnett, Ben Connors, Sarah Niles, Mary Woozley, S.R., R.B.

Contents

Chapter sub-headings are listed at the beginning of each chapter

The Purpose of this Book

The purpose of this book is to provide other women and girls on the autistic spectrum (whether diagnosed or not) with information about some of the safety issues and concerns they may face, and strategies that can help to deal with them. We will look at the following areas: friends; sex; romantic relationships; drugs, alcohol and other substances; preparation for leaving your home (e.g. to go to a shop); the internet, mobile devices and information sharing; money; work; emotions and mental health. These issues are discussed on the premise that you will be engaging in relationships with peers as an adult. I have also written about why certain things happen and what non-autistic people might already know. This book is intended not to scare you but to give you the information that will help you to do the things you want to do in your life more safely.