Tal Ben-Shahar PhD - Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness

W riting is my passion, and I am grateful for having chosen to become a writer. I am even more grateful for the people who have become part of my life as a result of my chosen profession. Kim Cooper and Adam Vital have worked with me on this book from its idea phase to its final version. They are, in Ralph Waldo Emersons definition of the ideal friend, my beautiful enemieschallenging me, pushing me, making me a better writer and thinker.

Whenever I have an idea for a book, the first person I turn to is Rafe Sagalyn of The Sagalyn Agency. His advice throughout the long process of writing is always wise and enlightening. Particularly, his advice to publish this book with The Experiment has been among the best he has given me. Working with Matthew Lore, Cara Bedick, and their team has been professionally and personally rewarding.

C.J. Lonoff of Speaking Matters has for the past decade paved the way for many of the things that I do, and it excites me to think of the roads well continue to travel together.

I am deeply indebted to Ellen Langer, whose seminal research on the topic of choice influenced my thinking in significant ways. Her work on this topic wasand continues to berevolutionary. I am indebted, too, to the work of the many psychologists I cite in this book, especially to Edward Deci, Sheena Iyengar, Sonja Lyubomirsky, Karen Reivich, Richard Ryan, Barry Schwartz, Martin Seligman, and Kennon Sheldon.

Numerous conversations with Rami Ziv have given birth to many of the choices I present in this bookas well as to the choice I made to become a psychologist and philosopher.

Pninit Russo-Netzer and Jorge Perelman read through the manuscript and provided valuable feedback.

Zevik and Aterett, beyond being the best brother and sister one could ask for, are exceptionally insightful and constantly contribute to my writing and thinking. I am also grateful for my sisters choice to bring Udi Mozes into our familyhis professionalism in our work together is surpassed only by his kindness and generosity.

To have met Tami at the age of fourteen is, to my mind, the luckiest break Ive ever had. To decide to spend my life with herand to raise three wonderful children togetheris the best choice Ive ever made.

This book is dedicated to my amazing parents. It is only now, as a parent myself, that I fully grasp the sometimes overwhelming number of choices that have to be made when raising children. I will be forever grateful for the paths they chose to take.

I am writing these lines on a transatlantic flight from Tel Aviv to New York. Before I began, I felt drainedexhausted after a particularly long and demanding day of work which was followed by an equally difficult night of tending to one of my children who was unwell. But as soon as I started to reflect on all the people to whom I am gratefulthose who are acknowledged here by name and the many more to whom I owe thanksI felt reinvigorated and my energies were renewed. This reminded me, yet again, of how the simple choices we make every moment can have a far-reaching effect on the way we experience our life, and how one of the best choices we can make is to express gratitude for all we have to be grateful for.

Choice unleashes the potential within each moment.

As you become mindful of the potential within this moment, your life gains momentum, becomes momentous.

When a moment matters, life matters.

Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness
Copyright Tal Ben-Shahar, 2012

All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or online reviews, no portion of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Ben-Shahar, Tal.
Choose the life you want : the mindful way to happiness /
Tal Ben-Shahar.
pages cm
Originally published in 2012 as: Choose the life you want: 101 ways to create your own road to happiness
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-61519-195-6 (pbk.) ISBN 978-1-61519-163-5 (ebook)
1. Happiness. 2. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Title.
BF575.H27B444 2014
158dc23
2013050005

ISBN 978-1-61519-195-6
Ebook ISBN 978-1-61519-163-5

Cover design by Christine Van Bree
Author photograph by Judy Rand
Text design by Pauline Neuwirth, Neuwirth & Associates, Inc.

Manufactured in the United States of America
Distributed by Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
Distributed simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen and Son Ltd.

First printing January 2014
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Happier:
Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

The Pursuit of Perfect:
How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life

Even Happier:
A Gratitude Journal for Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment

Being Happy:
You Dont Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life

With his customary insight, Tal Ben-Shahar lays out the elements of a happier life in short, thought-provoking chapters that will inspire readers both to think more deeply about their livesand to take action to turn those ideas into reality.

Gretchen Rubin, New York Timesbestselling author of The Happiness Project and Happier at Home

Ben-Shahar provides eloquent and clear strategies for living in the potency of daily awareness and choice. He takes the most common tests and traps we face as human beings and enables us to look clearly at options to makes us more alive, more mindful and happy. He challenges us to find our freedom to make the choice for the life we want.

David Surrenda, PhD, CEO, Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health and author of Retooling on the Run

By offering 101 powerful yet actionable ways to live a more meaning-full life, Tal has done most of the heavy lifting for us. In the end, he leaves us with perhaps the simplest choice of all: Read this book!

Scott A. Snook, PhD, Senior Lecturer of Business Administration, Harvard Business School

Ben-Shahar, one of the most popular teachers in Harvards recent history, has written a personal, informed, and highly enjoyable primer on how to become happier. It would be wise to take his advice.

Ellen J. Langer, author of Mindfulness and On Becoming an Artist

This fine book shimmers with a rare brand of good sense that is embedded in scientific knowledge about how to increase happiness.

Martin E. P. Seligman, author of Flourish