Kendra Smith - Take a Look at Me Now: the uplifting romantic adventure of 2020

The Chance of a Lifetime

A Year of Second Chances

AN IMPRINT OF HEAD OF ZEUS

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This edition first published in the United Kingdom in 2020 by Aria, an imprint of Head of Zeus Ltd

Copyright Kendra Smith, 2020

The moral right of Kendra Smith to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781789541885

Cover design Cherie Chapman

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Tempus fugit .

Maddie Brown the woman who flew away from her empty nest.

Exeter University July 2018

Uni reunion. Class of 1998 Faculty of Arts

The venue: The Great Hall, place of finals, end-of-year balls, graduation ceremonies, Freshers Week festival, and a moment etched into memory that can never be forgotten

The weather: chilly, dry evening

Feelings: nervous as hell

Hello, my names Maddie Brown. You might not remember me. I was the kid who had dreams and ambition and then blew it all with a

No. She wouldnt think about that. It had taken quite a lot of guts, two pairs of laddered tights, an hour at the hairdressers and an exorbitant rail fare to get there. This was the place she left behind in anguish. But it would be OK. She wouldnt have to relive any of it. Liz had been so sure in her Facebook messages.

Just come, Maddie. You cant hide forever.

And hidings exactly what shed spent the last twenty years doing. Hiding those emotions, brick by brick, layers of determination, cemented with pain: a sturdy wall to keep those feelings out.

She pulled her shoulders back and hesitated, wondering which Maddie was about to walk up those enormous concrete steps. The twenty-one-year-old one with a life hopelessly unlived in front of her or the one who was actually there tonight? Forty-one, weary, teary, with an empty nest and a dog with halitosis.

She couldnt quite believe she was about to step back into the Great Hall shed done her final exams in. How terrified shed been that week and not just about her finals, but about the enormity of her situation. Her Sociology paper was first. Shed stared around at the windows, the parquet flooring in case any of it could give her some clues about the final question: ethnicity it had been a twenty-five-mark bastard.

Maddie, there you are! She peered at the face. There was something about the green eyes. She knew those eyes or at least she thought she did. Elliot had had eyes like that, Elliot who had studied first-year Psychology with her hed been such a laugh, but this

You dont recognise me, do you? The woman laughed. Im Ellie youll remember me as Elliot. She winked at Maddie, batting down huge fluttery fake eyelashes. But things change, you know? She turned her head coquettishly to one side, as if a new view of the thickly applied foundation would help Maddie absorb such a shock. It was, she had to admit, a great party-opener. Hey, remember me, that bloke you knew? Well, now I rock mascara and five-inch heels.

Ellie looked fabulous.

Right, Ellie, yes, yes of course I remember! Its your eyes beautiful eyes, you always had! You look amazing! And she leant over and kissed her on both cheeks, inhaling a very floral perfume. White Linen? And before her, Ellie turned deep red beneath her Max Factor. Oh, thats very kind, and Ive found that if I use purple eyeshadow, a kind of mauve actually, it really brings out the green. Ellie winked at Maddie.

Spot on. Maddie grinned at her friend. So, er, how are things?

Well, Ellie began, as a waitress filled up their glasses and Maddie took a huge gulp, a bit unsettled, actually, since uni but Ive found a new lease of life, found a new life, to be honest. She laughed again. A new me!

Well, it really suits you And with that, there was a chink of someone tapping a glass and the room was told to hush.

Ladies and gentlemen It was the University Chancellor welcoming them back to the campus, telling them that dinner would be served now and to look at the seating plan.

Maddie accepted a refill from another waitress and walked towards the dining hall. She wasnt exactly scanning the room, but really, she realised, she was . Looking for a certain

Maddie was suddenly accosted from behind by a shrieking noise. Maddie! Maddie Brown! I knew it would be you! I would have spotted those legs a mile away. I remember them pedalling your bike around the place always late for lectures!

It was Liz from Yorkshire. Theyd done second-year Psychology together, sworn to keep in touch on graduation day, then promptly gone off and led very different lives. There was no Facebook back then to keep tabs on people or virtually stalk anyone. But theyd connected a few years ago and were now friends on Facebook hence the invitation to the reunion.

How are you, Liz? Maddie kissed her on the cheek and wondered quite how many foreign holidays shed taken as her skin resembled a leather boot. Good to see you.

They chatted for a while about life now: Liz, four kids, owned a riding school did Maddie ride? No? Well, there was always a first time two cats and a dog. Maddie filled Liz in on her only son, Ed, whod just finished sixth-form college, now in Bali on a gap year, her life working at a school, her husband who was a wine salesman.

It all sounded so normal, didnt it? So plausible that she was that happily married woman. That she trod an entirely different path to the one in her mind. Eventually, she looked behind Lizs shoulder to find an escape. As endearing as it was to listen to chat about the menagerie chez Liz, Maddie wanted to meet more old pals. First though, she nipped to the loo and checked her make-up. No, there was no lipstick on her teeth, she just saw a frazzled-looking brunette with a lopsided fringe (cheap hairdresser), hair piled up behind her with a few escaping russet tendrils, wearing an emerald wrap-over jersey-knit dress good for her bust, not great for the belly. She sighed.

She pulled out some lip gloss and reapplied it. That would do. Grin, girl. She held her own gaze in the mirror for a while and then swiftly turned around and went to the door.

As she was coming out of the ladies, a figure in the corner made her look twice. If she was honest, she had been thinking about him. It was hard not to in that Great Hall, where even the familiar air of the place brought memories skidding back to her frontal lobe.

She twisted a bit of her hair between her fingers and remembered when shed first seen him. Hed been down by the beach, at Widemouth Bay. Surfing was his thing and shed been there because it was Freshers Week. Shed been with the Try-to-Surf Club, ten of them giggling in the minibus before pouring out of the bus, heady with the sight of the sea, comparing what their wetsuits would look like. (Without Facebook or Insta, it was just sideways looks and memories. If you were lucky, a Post-it left on your door or a number scribbled on a beer mat.)