Karen Hood-Caddy - Saving Crazy

I Am Only One

I am only one,

But still I am one.

I cannot do everything,

But still I can do something;

And because I cannot do everything

I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.

Edward Everett Hale

Chapter One

Robin sat splayed against the back seat of the van, sweat oozing out of her like the guts of a squashed fly. The air conditioner had stopped working just before they left Winnipeg and the heat made Robin feel as if she were sitting in a sauna.

Every part of her seethed with heat her skin, her toes, even her teeth and tongue were hot. In fact, there was no part of her that wasnt hot. And there was no part of her that wasnt grumpy about it either.

Oh, what shed give to jump into her little lake at home. She closed her eyes and imagined the feel of the wet dock under her bare feet and the moist mineral smell of the lake as she stood, readying herself to dive. In her mind, she leaned forward and plunged in, splooshing down and down into the hug of it, bubbles exploding all around her as if they were as excited as she was. The water was cool and refreshing, invigorating as Griff always said, and she was grateful for the way the lake pulled the blistering heat from her body. Ah, finally, relief.

She opened her eyes and wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her bare arm. Shed never thought she would yearn for a lake, but she was yearning for it now. Big time. As she was yearning for everything at home Relentless, Griff, Zo-Zo even her sister, amazingly enough. Ari was supposed to have come on the trip, but had gotten a summer job at the last moment and their dad had let her off the hook.

What was Griff doing right now, Robin wondered. Cutting away the fishing line from a ducks leg, or saving some deer that had been hit by a car? Or were she and Laura talking to some irate cottager whod had a bear steal a salmon from their barbeque? Robin smiled. She knew she probably shouldnt root for the bears in these situations, but she couldnt help herself. Bears had to eat too, and once upon a time, all the salmon had been theirs.

Over the weeks Robin had been away, Griff had emailed a few times to say hello and give her news about what was going on at the animal shelter. Surprisingly, there hadnt been any sort of crisis. But it was August and baby season was over, so things were usually quiet at this time. That was why her dad had wanted to visit Grandpa Goodridge in Winnipeg now.

While were not running around like chickens with our heads cut off, hed said.

Expecting the trip to be long, hot, and boring, both Robin and her brother, Squirm, had tried to wiggle their way out of going, but her dad had been unusually firm. Unfortunately, the trip had met all her expectations.

Robin peeled her back from the hot seat and leaned forward. Is Grandpa Goodridge older than Griff? He acts older.

No, her dad said. I guess all the running around Griff does for The Wild Place keeps her young. Well have to remind her of that the next time she tells us how tired she is.

Robin could only see his eyes in the mirror. It was funny the way eyes could smile. Just like a mouth could, but different.

All Grandpa Goodridge does is crosswords, Squirm said.

He bakes, too, their dad said.

Robin remembered the day theyd made peanut butter cookies. Robin had watched as her grandfathers small fingers flitted over the baking sheet like skittery birds. Griffs hands were huge and powerful and did things with calm certainty.

Peanut butter cookies used to be your moms favourite, Grandpa Goodridge had said.

Robin had winced at the mention of her mother. It still hurt to think of her. Would there ever come a time when she didnt react? At least nowadays she no longer cried.

Robin stuck her head out the window. The air wasnt cool, but it lifted the damp curls of her hair from her scalp and that felt good. Heat was so heavy. It was pushy too, leaning into her like a bully.

And what about Zo-Zo? What was Zo-Zo doing right now? On the Internet researching something, no doubt. At one point, Robin had tried to get her to come on the trip too, but Zo-Zos dad had given her a summer job at his newspaper, writing articles on the environment, and Zo-Zo hadnt wanted to pass that up.

Zo-Zo had sent some of the articles to Robin, but Robin had barely been able to read them. The last one had been a list of all the animals, birds, and insects that had gone extinct in the last ten years. She had known that some species no longer existed, but as shed read the avalanche of names, she had hardly been able to breathe. How could people let a whole species die?