Kate White - Hush: A Novel

YOUVE GOT A secret, dont you?

What do you mean? Lake asked. Caught off guard by the comment, she set her wineglass down on the caf table and pulled her head back slightly.

Theres a cat-that-ate-the-canary look on your face.

She knew Molly was picking up on something she herself had only realized in the past few days: the grief and guilt that had stalked her so unmercifully for four months had finally begun to retreat. She felt lighter, less oppressed, suddenly even hungry for life again. Earlier, as shed hurried down Ninth Avenue to meet Molly for lunch in Chelsea, shed actually felt a brief surge of joybecause of the brilliant summer sky and the work she was doing and the fact that somewhere something new and good might be waiting for her.

Dont tell me youre seeing someone? Molly added.

God, no, Lake said. I just feel like the gloom has finally lifted. She smiled. I may even surprise you and be less than a total sad sack today.

Just remember, it can be a real emotional roller coaster right now, Molly said, shaking out her long red hair. What I learned the first year after my divorce was that you feel great one second and then bam , the blues are backand youre in bed for the next four days with the covers pulled over your head.

Im not expecting any miracles, Lake said. Im just sick of moping around like some character in a Lifetime movie. Im a forty-four-year-old single mother, and it wont be a breeze, but Im ready to see it as an adventure rather than a curse. And it helps that I love working with my new client. The clinic does good stuff.

So whats happening with the divorce? Are things moving along?

My lawyer has been playing telephone tag with Jacks. But he thinks the agreement should be ready to sign before the kids are back from camp. Once thats done, Ill really be able to move on.

Then why not date? Molly asked. It would be so good for you.

Well, Im hardly beating men off with a stick.

The reason no ones in hot pursuit is that you make it so hard for guys to talk to you, Molly said. When are you going to let your guard down? Youre a knockout, Lake.

Thats helpful, Lake thought. Molly made her sound like a feral cat that ran and hid under the nearest porch whenever anyone approached. Sometimes she rued the day she confided in Molly about what shed gone through when she was younger.

I dont think Im ready for any kind of romance, anyway.

What about the doctor? Molly asked, her green eyes flashing.

Who?

That guy at the fertility clinicthe one you said was kind of flirty with you.

Oh, Keaton, Lake said. As she said his name she pictured his face: the slate-blue eyes, the brown hair spiked a little in front, so un-doctor-y. And that soft, full mouth. Hes the type who would flirt with a coatrack, she added. A real player, Im sure.

Playing has its place, you know. Why not try a little eye sex and see where it takes you?

Do you make these expressions up yourself, Molly? Lake asked, smiling.

When theres nothing suitable in the vernacular, yes.

He lives in L.A., anyway. Hes just consulting with the clinic for a few weeks. Should we check out the menu?

Over lunch Lake did her best to steer the conversation off herself and toward her friends latest exploits as a fashion stylist. It wasnt that she failed to appreciate Mollys concern for her. When Lake had gradually withdrawn from her two closest friends after the separation, too sick with shame to face them, Molly had persisted with her, offering herself as combination confidante and coach. Lake had eventually relented and had come to like the attention. But at times it could feel overwhelming. Maybe because Molly had always been just a casual friend, someone Lake had known professionally, and it was weird to have her in this new role. Or maybe because at heart, Lake had always been a bit of a loner.

Im supposed to hear about another job today, Molly said later, as their coffee arrived. Do you mind if I check my email?

Lake used the moment to look at her own BlackBerry. There was a missed call from her lawyer, Robert Hotchkiss. Finally , she thought. But as she played back the message, she felt a rush of fear, like water gushing through a garden hose. He wanted to see her right away. And his voice sounded grim.

Look, Id better jump in a cab and get up there, Lake said after filling Molly in. Somethings clearly come up.

She called Hotchkiss as soon as she hugged Molly goodbye and stepped onto the sidewalk. Though she didnt reach him directly, the receptionist told her he was anxious to talkno, she didnt know whyand it was fine for Lake to drop by as soon as she could. Now what, she thought, as she threw her head against the backseat of the cab. Was Jack going to renege on his promise to let her and the kids keep the apartment? Shed spent a year being humiliated and hurt by him, and it made her furious to think he might have something else up his sleeve.

She was fuming by the time she arrived at Hotchkisss midtown Manhattan suite. The receptionist, an older woman whose champagne-colored hair was curled as tight as a poodles, didnt even announce her but simply led her down the hall.

As Lake entered Hotchkisss office, he rose from his boat-size desk to greet her. He was about sixty, with a ruddy face and a stomach that draped over his expensive belt like a sandbag.

Excuse the chaos, Lake, he said, gesturing toward stacks of bulging brown legal files. Im in the middle of a messy case.

Well, with two kids in grade school, I know all about chaos.

Her comment sounded stupid to her own ears. What she wanted to do was skip the chitchat and shout, What the hell is Jack up to now ?