Shawn Wickens - How to Lose Your Virginity

How to Lose Your Virginity
(...and how not to)
2010 Kindle Edition (updated 2/12/12)
by Shawn Wickens
For questions or comments - contact the author through
www.LossofVirginityBook.com
A portion of the proceeds of this book benefit RAINN (Rape and Incest National Network).

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INTRODUCTION
Interviews were conducted during several road trips across North America in the following cities:

I spoke to over 1,000 strangers. These are a few of their stories.

Chapter 1
"YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED TO ME."

When I met Vivian, I was speaking to a group of ladies out in the Warehouse District of Cleveland, Ohio for a bachelorette party. The bride-to-be was visibly shocked when she heard one of her bridesmaids tell of her evening of sex with a married man.
The title for "MY PARENTS PROBABLY WOULDNT EVEN BELIEVE ME IF I TOLD THEM WHERE I WAS" was inspired by an actual quote from Zoe, an 18-year-old I met in Nashville. She was hanging out at a coffee house on a Saturday night because, as she put it, her wild times were behind her.
After I spoke with Shigeru I found myself asking him if it really happened. He assured me it had, he seemed very genuine, and his story was even verified by his then-girlfriend who had heard it before. So, its so crazy, it must be true! Right?
Teachers, threesomes, porn stars... it really happens.

WE WERE ONLY FRESHMEN
Barry, 28
This began when I was 14 years old, the summer going into my freshman year in Catholic high school. I had had my first kiss only three weeks earlier. It was also the same time I started drinking and partying. Kind of young for that kind of stuff but Im from Iowa where 14 is about the average. Its Fourth of July weekend and Im at this party flirting with a real cute girl, same age as me, whos already dating a senior: Dolph.
She was a big fan of blackberry brandy but couldnt hold it, couldnt handle herself. Everyone knew she was the type of girl who got drunk and liked to mess around. She was drunk, I was drunk, and we snuck into the guys room who was throwing the party.
Her boyfriend, the senior, happened to be a middle linebacker for our varsity football team. I was already warned. I was warned when I was flirting with her. Her boyfriend was one of those guys who would go up to people and say, "Head or gut?" And if you said gut, hed punch you in the head. If you said head, you know, vice-versa. So I knew what I was getting myself into. Nevertheless, Im 14, and this is about to be the first time I ever showed my penis to a woman. I was really insecure about it because I was a 150-lb drunk pothead. You know, how could I physically compete against a 270-lb middle linebacker. But we had beautiful sex, listening to "The End" by The Doors and we were both big Doors fans. She said it was great.
The linebacker found out, everybody found out. So once school starts, big ol Dolph sees me on the bridge and I just about shit my pants. He throws down his books, holds up a fist and asks me, "Head or gut?" I was like, "Dude. Im really sorry. I didnt know. I didnt know." He spit chewing tobacco all over my books. That was the worst of it. The way I looked at it, this 270-lb senior got hosed by a freshman. He was a football player, I was a nobody and I had a great time humping on his girlfriend.
It turned out that my best friend all through high school, who I hadnt met at that point, he was the guy whose bed I lost my virginity in. And he and the girl I lost my virginity to ended up getting married three years ago. That took place when I was 14, Im 26 now and I was the best man at their wedding. I'm not sure if Nate knows and he's like a brother to me. Im sure she hasnt mentioned it to him. But the fact that it was in his bedroom, Im now his best friend, and was the best man at their wedding, I think makes it a good story. Everyone I tell seems to like it except for Nate, who Ive never told.

***

You'd be amazed what two naked people can do in a movie theater. It was a long movie. It was a hell of an experience doing it during and not really watching, As Good as It Gets. I own two copies of it on DVD for memorys sake. One is still wrapped in the plastic for posterity.
Jake, 24
Ocala, Florida

***

DJ VU
Maddie, 21
I was with my boyfriend at a party at one of our friends houses. We were doing this camping thing-a-majing, there was a bonfire and everyone had blankets on the ground, We were making out and he climbed on top of me and said, "Can I?" and you know, I was drunk. We decided to have sex right then and there.
I thought it was gonna be a big deal, but afterwards I was like, "Thats it?" I mean it is a big deal when youre young, you dont even know the emotional effects it has on you. I think sex put a strain on the relationship that, as kids, we werent ready for.
So I went home with one of my friends, she was actually at the party with me. I told her that I slept with my boyfriend and she was like, "Well have you ever slept with a girl?" And I said, "No." So she slept over and we slept with each other.
It was a better experience with her. It was more sensual, more erotic I guess. Maybe more crazy and daring. Maybe thats what made it better.
But my brother found out and told everybody. That was harsh. My parents found out and that wasnt good either. Now theyre more supportive about my sexuality. My mom still has issues but my dad is happy as long as Im happy.
About a year ago, I get home from my college and my parents tell me that theyre moving and they bought a house. They tell me the address and it turns out to be the house where I lost my virginity with the guy in the backyard. Thats the house theyre in now. My dad laughed but my mom just rolled her eyes. She wishes I was still with guys.
SO WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?
Jimmy, 43
I was living in London, lived there from when I was 10 to 19. I lost mine to a Scottish junkie in a squat in Worlds End, this section of London. Iggy Pop's album, The Idiot was playing the song "Tiny Girls." I was dealing at the time, so I guess you could say she was a customer of mine.
This girl, she had just broken up with her boyfriend. She was pissed off and wanted to screw somebody to get back at her boyfriend and I was happy to step up. It was just fate, "Yeah, why not." I was 14 so she was, well... an older woman. She was like 18.
The thing that was weird about it was the next morning I went down to the kitchen to get some stale corn flakes and this other girl I went to school with was there. She had lost her virginity the same night to a male junkie in the same freaking squat. We were both too cool to acknowledge anything that happened so we just sat down and looked at each other and ate breakfast. I ended up dating her. Yeah, so it was very bizarre and pleasant.
Then two weeks later they tore down the squat. So all I have left is the album Iggy Pop.
PB & J
Mario, 30
I discovered sex when a fellow male classmate and I had sex on my parents kitchen table. We were 14, we were there, it happened, and we needed lube. We could be so lucky to have butter or olive oil. All I could find was crunchy peanut butter. It served its purpose. When we were done I cleaned the kitchen table with a mop. I was real paranoid about it because I had to sit at the kitchen table and have breakfast with my family the next morning. They suspected nothing but could probably tell I was a little bit happier than usual.