To Tim, with love-
so that the whole world will know how much you mean to me
If I could cast a spell, like some of my protagonists in this novel, it would be one to acquire unlimited knowledge. After all, a novelist is only as good as her experts when it comes to learning about fields that are unknown to her. For this reason, Id like to thank the following people: my doctors and psychiatric personnel-on-call, David Toub, MD; Jim Umlas, MD; Tia Horner, MD; Marybeth Durkin, MD; and Jan Scheiner; Betty Martin, for all toxicological information; Detective-Lieutenant Frank Moran, for police procedure following a sexual assault; Chris Farina, who took me behind the scenes at a diner; and Lisa Schiermeier, the DNA scientist who managed to teach a science-challenged gal like me genetics. Thanks to Aidan Curran for the egg pickup line; to Steve Ives for all things baseball and a keen editorial eye; to Diana and Duncan Watson for the BLT scene; to Teresa Farina for transcription under fire; and to Hal Friend for a virtual tour of the Lower East Side. I am indebted to the works of Starhawk and Scott Cunningham, from which I began to understand the Wiccan religion. Kiki Keating helped shape the beginnings of the judiciary plot here; Chris Keating provided the most incredibly prompt legal answers for the book that grew out of it; and Jennifer Sternick did such a fantastic job helping me craft the trial that I may never let her go as a legal consultant. Thanks to Laura Gross, Camille McDuffie, and Jane Picoult for their contributions in shaping and selling this novel. My sincere gratitude to JoAnn Mapson, whose private chapter-by-chapter workshop sessions made me believe in this book and turned it into something better than I even imagined. And last, but not least, Id like to sing the praises of Kip Hakala and Emily Bestler at Pocket Books. If every author had the unflagging support and devotion of an editorial duo like these two, publishing would be a wonderful world indeed.
March 2000
North Haverhill,
New Hampshire
Several miles into his journey, Jack St. Bride decided to give up his former life.
He made this choice as he walked aimlessly along Route 10, huddling against the cold. He had dressed this morning in a pair of khaki pants, a white shirt with a nick in the collar, stiff dress shoes, a smooth-skinned belt-clothing hed last worn 5,760 hours ago, clothing that had fit him last August. This morning, his blue blazer was oversized and the waistband of his trousers hung loose. It had taken Jack a moment to realize it wasnt weight hed lost during these eight months but pride.
He wished he had a winter coat, but you wore out of jail the same outfit youd worn in. What he did have was the forty-three dollars that had been in his wallet on the hot afternoon he was incarcerated, a ring of keys that opened doors to places where Jack no longer was welcome, and a piece of gum.
Other inmates who were released from jail had family to pick them up. Or they arranged for transportation. But Jack had no one waiting for him, and he hadnt thought about getting a ride. When the door closed behind him, a jaw being snapped shut, he had simply started walking.
The snow seeped into his dress shoes, and passing trucks splattered his trousers with slush and mud. A taxi pulled onto the side of the road and the driver unrolled the window, but Jack kept struggling forward, certain that the cab had stopped for someone else.
Car trouble? the driver called out.
Jack looked, but there was no one behind him. Just walking.
Pretty miserable weather for that, the man replied, and Jack stared. He could count on one hand the number of casual conversations hed had in the past year. It had been better, easier, to keep to himself. Where you headed?
The truth was, he had no idea. There were countless problems he hadnt considered, most of them practical: What would he do for work? For transportation? Where would he live? He didnt want to return to Loyal, New Hampshire, not even to pick up his belongings. What good was the evidence of a career he no longer had, of a person he would never be?
The cabdriver frowned. Look, buddy, he said, why dont you just get in?
Jack nodded and stood there, waiting. But there was no bright buzz, no click of the latch. And then he remembered that in the outside world, no one had to unlock a door before he entered.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.
Then up Jack got and home did trot as fast as he could caper,
To old Dame Dob, who patched his nob,
With vinegar and brown paper.
Is there no good penitence but it be public?
-THE CRUCIBLE
March 2000
Salem Falls,
New Hampshire
On the second worst day of Addie Peabodys life, her refrigerator and dishwasher both died, like long-term lovers who could not conceive of existing without each other. This would have been a trial for anyone, but as she was the owner of the Do-Or-Diner, it blossomed into a catastrophe of enormous proportions. Addie stood with her hands pressed to the stainless steel door of the subzero walk-in, as if she might jump-start its heart by faith healing.
It was hard to decide what was more devastating: the health violations or the loss of potential income. Twenty pounds of dry ice, the most the medical supply store had to offer, wasnt doing the job. Within hours, Addie would have to throw away the gallon buckets of gravy, stew, and chicken soup made that morning. I think, she said after a moment, Im going to build a snowman.
Now? asked Delilah, the cook, her crossed arms as thick as a blacksmiths. She frowned. You know, Addie, I never believed it when folks around here called you crazy, but-
Ill stick it in the fridge. Maybe itll save the food until the repairman gets here.
Snowmen melt, Delilah said, but Addie could tell that she was turning the idea over in her mind.
Then well mop up and make more.
And I suppose youre just gonna let the customers fend for themselves?
No, Addie said. Im going to get them to help. Will you get Chloes boots?
The diner was not crowded for 10 A.M. Of the six booths, two were occupied: one by a mother and her toddler, the other by a businessman brushing muffin crumbs off his laptop. A couple of elderly regulars, Stuart and Wallace, slouched at the counter drinking coffee while they argued over the local papers headlines.
Ladies and gentlemen, Addie proclaimed. Im pleased to announce the start of the Do-or-Diners winter carnival. The first event is going to be a snow-sculpture contest, and if youd all just come out back for a moment, we can get started-
Its freezing out there! cried Wallace.
Well, of course it is. Otherwise wed be having a summer carnival. Winner of the contest gets . . . a month of breakfast on the house.
Stuart and Wallace shrugged, a good sign. The toddler bounced on the banquette like popcorn in a skillet. Only the businessman seemed unconvinced. As the others shuffled through the door, Addie approached his table. Look, the businessman said. I dont want to build a snowman, all right? All I came here for was some breakfast.
Well, were not serving now. Were sculpting. She gave him her brightest smile.
The man seemed nonplussed. He tossed a handful of change on the table, gathered his coat and computer, and stood up to leave. Youre nuts.
Addie watched him leave. Yes, she murmured. Thats what they say.
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