George Singleton - Calloustown

Although they lived in a giant hole, the Masseys didnt hail from a tribe of cave-dwelling Vicksburg ancestors. They werent West Virginia coalminers relocated to Calloustown, South Carolina, who longed for happier times. None of the Masseys suffered from syndromes or diseases or allergies or phobias. They merely lived underground, as blithe and relentless as anyone else in Calloustown. My father didnt like or trust them, probably because my father built brick walls and walkways, plus the occasional foundation, and the Masseys needed no barriers or welcoming entrances. I never went to art camp, so I cant draw a picture of my best friend Lincoln Masseys abode, but its like this: you walk about a half mile south from my parents house, take a right into the woods, and when you see a door on the ground with a knob sticking out, youre at the Masseys place. The door might be covered in leaves and pine straw, just like the flat shingled roof, if its between October and March. To knock on the door, you plain stomp a foot. The whole reason I know Morse code and rudimentary tap dancing emanates from going over to Lincolns place most days, bored with a simple bang-bang-bang.

Before I was born and before Lincoln was born, too from what I gathered later on in life, Mass Massey had a normal, wooden, one-story cottage with a six-hundred-square-foot bomb shelter built below the garage. The house burned down. My father always said two things about this occasion: Thats what they get for not having a brick house, and Too bad I didnt have my homemade fire tower built at the time or I couldve gotten a good view of the flames.

Five or six years after I was born and discovered the doorknob in the ground, seeing as I could wander the woods and fields with little or no supervision, I heard the true story: Lincolns father and mother moved into the undisturbed bomb shelter, he got ahold of a jackhammer, and through industrious hard labor and obsession he had a two-story, then a three-story house, lined with cement blocks, those blocks painted or covered in fabric. There were a lot of lamps, of course. There was a toilet and shower up on the first floor, but I didnt go to plumbing or engineering camp, either, so I dont know how those things worked. And I guess I exaggerate somewhat about the knob poking out: If the Masseys were home, there was a car and S.C. Dept. of Transportation truck parked right before the roof.

Mass Massey couldnt have stood more than five-two or weighed over 130 pounds of pure muscle. He appeared to be coiled at all times and didnt blink his close-set, agate marble-like eyes. With his shaved head he looked more unforgiving spider monkey than husband and father, and after I tap danced on his door I stood back always, thinking he might pop through the annulled threshold like a jack-in-the-box at the end of its song.

His wife Evelyn, though, was either nearsighted or pious. She stood four inches taller than Mass Massey, wore tight sweaters, and played the role of my pillow when I was thirteen years old and needed a better cushion than my mattress had to offer groin level.

Be careful of the moles and snakes at night, Reed, my father said to me whenever I went over there to spend the night. Dont think about earthquakes, cave-ins, or worms. To my mother he said things like, Mass Massey doesnt sound much like a commie name, but they got to be communists, what with their wanting to dig a house all the way to China.

Secretly, my father loved having Mass and Evelyn Massey living nearby, because it made him seem normal. A man who strove to build the tallest fire tower in the state for no other reason than to prove that he never should have been denied a job with both the forestry commission and the fire department straight out of high school seemed normal compared to a family of underground misfits.

I always said, Their house is nice, seeing as it didnt have knife-sharpening grinding wheels set up in the den or a disassembled window unit air conditioner on the kitchen table. You should go over there and see it. Mr. Masseys got a gigantic collection of arrowheads and spearheads and hatchet heads.

Thats good. Maybe he can use those things for ammunition when he digs one foot too deep and opens up a door to Satans minions, I heard my dad say more than once.

My mother said, Shut up, Dwayne. Youre going to give Reed nightmares.

I tell you what gives a kid nightmares sleeping in an underground house where yellow jackets might come out of the walls at any moment. Or dead people buried nearby, when their graves slide through fissures. Dead people have abnormally gummy teeth. As does Mass Massey. All gums.

Go over there and have fun, Reed, my mother would say. Be polite. Dont go telling the Masseys all these things your daddy says. As a matter of fact, try to keep Mr. Massey from talking. He might have a stutter, thus his name.

I dont know exactly what the psychological phenomenon might be called, but there has to be a label for how a child or at least a boy will almost always tell a neighbor something that he, the boy, was counseled to keep quiet. And then theres the opposite: what a boy should tell his parents about the neighbors he forever keeps locked inside until, say, twenty-five years later when hes on a psychiatrists couch or, in my case, stuck in stalled traffic with my then-wife June until a coroner showed up to put sheets over the bodies of a dead driver and his passengers up ahead on W. Ponce de Leon Drive. A close, lifelong neighbor can touch a boys pecker and take him on weekly convenience store holdups, say, Dont tell your mom and dad, and the kid will turn into a compliant mute until everyone involved trades logic for dementia. That same boy can watch his father throw a dinner plate against the wall out of desperate angry boredom, divinely hear, Its a sign of weakness to lose ones patience and temper, I promise not to act thusly again, dont tell anyone, and that boy will practically rent a billboard to announce his fathers weakness.

I sat behind the steering wheel, taking my then-wife June to a lecture over at one of those satellite campuses because she and I were about to give up on our marriage though we never talked openly about it and somehow we chose confronting new ideas instead of getting drunk daily as a way to repair our increasingly miserable cohabitation. This particular lecture was open to the public, offered by a female scholar from Mississippi who gained the trust of some Native American potters in New Mexico, where she learned how to build coil pots and fire them in dung. We didnt know that the wreck ahead involved a dead threesome of migrant workers, two of whom got thrown from the cab of their truck, two of whom got ejected from the bed, one of which was only scraped up miserably and knocked unconscious. I looked at the lane next to mine and noticed a foot-deep pothole and said, Indirectly, when I was six to twelve years old or thereabouts, I ruined a number of rims, hubcaps, and axles.

When its Q-and-A time, Im going to ask that woman if the Hopi Indians were the first to make shallow oval casserole dishes with lids. I think I read somewhere that they were the first to make them, and that Corningware stole the idea.

People ahead of us began honking. I didnt mention how it had always been my experience that the people who asked questions at the end of the evening cared more about letting everyone in the audience know how stupid they were instead of needing a valid answer.

June said, Wait. What did you say?

My mother had won an Honorable Mention in the Upstate Fairs craft competition for an egg basket she wove out of kudzu and honeysuckle back in 1972, and for the remainder of her time in Calloustown she concentrated on discovering new homemade dyes and patterns that rivaled man in the coffin or peace pipe or snake on the loose. She wasnt paying attention to anything I did. My father drove around most days in between jobs, making a list of people who chose wooden fences and gravel paths over brick so he could make a point of shunning those people in public later. I cant remember for certain, but I think I mightve spent the night in the Massey hole for entire weekends without my parents even knowing I was missing.