Beth Evans - I Really Didn’t Think this Through: Tales from My So-Called Adult Life

Contents

Contents

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I REALLY DIDNT THINK THIS THROUGH . Copyright 2018 by Beth Evans. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

FIRST EDITION

Cover design and illustration by Beth Evans

Digital Edition MAY 2018 ISBN: 978-0-06-279607-3

Version 03282018

Print ISBN: 978-0-06-279606-6

For everyone who has read my work over the
yearsthank you for changing my life

Hey there,

Thanks for picking up this book. By doing so you are now on track to completely transform your life!... Im kiddingoh my god, would that be annoying. Also, Im a complete mess and not really in any position to tell people how to run their lives.

Maybe youre a little bit like me. Adulthood is exhausting and challenging, and youre still trying to find your place in this big wacky world, while everyone you used to know from school is getting married and posting about it online like the smug, successful people they are. So fun.

Maybe youve also felt sad and anxious, like This depression is never-ending and Im upset for no reason and sometimes television is the only thing that makes sense. Thats all right, and Ive definitely been there. Youre not alone in feeling that way.

I may not have the answers to your problems, life-changing tips, or really any idea what Im doing, but I do have experience in making a half-assed attempt at adulthood. I also have a bunch of embarrassing stories, because embarrassment is one of the things I seem to be really good at. And theres some stuff on depression, anxiety, and legally being an adult but not really feeling like one.

Basically, what Im trying to say is that youre okay. And sometimes just being okay is a great place to be.

Okay?

T here is a special area of hell called LinkedIn. This website exists for the twisted purpose of letting you look up people you went to school with so you can frantically compare yourself with them. It is particularly helpful to those of us who are having a bad self-esteem night and need to be reminded just how not up to par we really are.

Viewing all the fancy places classmates are working and who their interesting connections are serves to remind us of how little weve accomplished. LinkedIn has probably made millions from my misery.

Comparing ourselves to other people is just a natural part of life. I do it in every way possible. Not because Im looking to be better than anyone, but because Im that insecure.

It can be minor things, like checking out how everyone else at a party is dressed to make sure you look okay, or major things, like getting really upset that the girl who was mean to you in school landed a prestigious job. And it can suck a lot when you feel you arent as good, because getting out of that mind-set requires you to appreciate all the things youve done so far! Which, sometimes, is not as much as you would have liked.

Ive wasted hours scrolling through the internet, peering at peoples profiles and seeing how grown-up-looking their pictures are. Medical students, teachers, law studentsreally, these people have accomplished a lot. And, oh godsome of them are married, with families. The nagging sense of competition begins, and I start to feel like I dont stack up in any way.

It can be hard enough to see the progress youve made in life, even without the distraction of an internet browser. Sometimes I really have to talk myself downOkay, theyve got a stellar career and a million friends, but hey, I didnt cry in public today. The measure of progress is unique to each of us. Did it make you feel pretty good to achieve something, even if it was a tiny something? Hey, thats progress! And thats great!

Theres always going to be someone out there who is doing better than you. Theres also someone doing worse than you. Its an endless cycle of competition thats so unnecessary. And sometimes an old acquaintance will be putting it on Facebook. But the good news is that you get to create your own definition of progress and success. Maybe its that you went to a doctors appointment or convinced yourself not to look up so-and-so online. Either way, a step forward is good, a step backward isnt the end of the world, and keeping both feet on the ground is greatsometimes thats actual progress. Youve got this, no matter what your moms friend says about her own kids. Because youre you, and really, theres no better success than that.