First published by Westland Publications Private Limited in 2018
61, 2nd Floor, Silverline Building, Alapakkam Main Road, Maduravoyal, Chennai 600095
Westland and the Westland logo are trademarks of Westland Publications Private Limited, or its affiliates.
Copyright Dr Yusuf Merchant, 2018
ISBN: 9789386850980
The views and opinions expressed in this work are the authors own and the facts are as reported by him, and the publisher is in no way liable for the same.
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Typeset in Adobe Garamond Pro by SRYA, New Delhi
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IF YOU CAME here looking for one of those syrupy volumes that help you deal with the grief of losing a pet turtle, this aint it. Dead Turtle Therapy is over in Aisle 4.
Stories of peoples lives are as countless as the stars, and as indiscriminate unless you get up close. Everybody has at least oneyou have one, I have one, assorted uncles and aunts have a dozen apiece. The first time I met Yusuf Doc Merchant, this is what I asked him: Why should I listen to you?
It was 2010 and I was a recent addition to the thirty-or-so residents of Land, a rehab facility neighbouring Mumbai city. Facility is a terrible word to use here because it makes Land sound like something from a Michael Crichton thriller, all lab coats and security systems and dissected rodents. In truth, visually, Land is equal parts luxury mountain retreat and kitschy artist commune. There is a massive dining hall built almost entirely of shiny granite and marble. A gym. A swimming pool. Air-conditioned villas. There is also, squirrelled away like hazelnuts inside creamy chocolate, a wooden pagoda-style gazebo for prayer. A giant concrete peace symbol painted in electric pink. A junk chassis of an ancient jeep half buried in the ground.
The resulting mlange is a lot to take in.
Doc, perhaps unsurprisingly, given that he is the soul of the place, can be a lot to take in as well. He turned sixty last year but dresses like a teenager (expensive jeans with unorthodox stitching, trainers in neon candy colours). He eats, walks, speaks and laughs with an energy that pops and fizzes like a soda can gone mad. A believer of many and varied faiths, Doc is also irreverent in the extreme. Ive seen him get cheeky with captains of industry, religious leaders, heads of institutions and the press corps alike, as if to say sure, we are speaking of important things but lets not take ourselves too seriously for fucks sake! He never does, nor lets anyone else. His elfin sense of mischief seeks out and squashes any self-importance in the vicinity.
There are contradictions that become apparent: practically tone deaf himself, Doc is moved by music in any form and understands its emotional affect. Unequivocally masculine in his behaviour otherwise, he often breaks into tears mid-sentence because something has tapped into his deep vein of sentimentality (without wanting to promote a gender stereotype, it is undeniably rare to see a man do thatusually somebody has to die first). Though mellowed now by the passage of time, in the early days his mercurial temper would flash as suddenly as a summer storm. His wisdom is couched in stories that make you laugh, full of mimicry and physical comedy and multilingual cussing. Doc is, by any standard, a warm and genuine human being, and a performance artiste beyond compare.
So, June 2010. I was trying to quit a heroin habit that just wouldnt quit. Youd imagine that, defeated and messed up as I was, I would accept any offer of help without question. Uh-unh, not me. A minute after Doc had given me the nicest hug I could ever remember getting, I had a question: Why should I listen to you, man?
Affectionate as I am towards Doc now, in those days I was as hostile as dammit. I dont know what I expected in response. Perhaps he would tell me that he was a qualified doctor with over thirty years of experience in treating mental illness and substance abuse. Show me the news articles and UN reports that laud him as the spearhead of change in the field. Line up the several hundred families all over the world who would give personal testimony that he had saved the life of a loved one.
He didnt do any of that.
What he said was: Dont. I give a fuck whether you listen to me or not.
It sounds harsh, I know, but in that moment it was exactly what I needed to hear. It took the fight right out of me and I began to listen. Really listen. All change, all healing, begins with openness.
This is theno other word for itgenius in a man. In knowing what to say to whom. Or, more accurately, in knowing that different people will be affected in different ways by the same story. Back in the 1980s, I had a poster of Michael Jacksons album Bad up on my wall. It showed a young Jackson dressed in that campy leather jacket, looking out at the world through his soft doe-eyes. Wherever I was in the room, those eyes followed me. It happens with certain posters or artwork sometimes, but I didnt know that then. I thought I was specialuntil my sister complained that the eyes tracked her too. And thats when I knew that it wasnt a quality in me that fascinated Michael Jackson so, but a quality in his poster that made me believe his eyes were for me alone.
Docs stories, Ive come to learn over the years, are like that. In person or in print, they mean different things to different people and, with each re-telling, they often mean different things to the same person. Whether youve picked up this book to learn a little self-awareness, or to find answers to specific questions, or simply to be entertained, chances are you will not be disappointed. Because when a person has lived as rich and chaotic a life as Doc has, their stories are gold.
ARJUN NATH
Author of White Magic: A Story of Heartbreak, Hard Drugs and Hope
THIS BOOK HAS been a lifetimes journey for me. Doc invited me to work on it with him at a fortuitous point in my life, when I most needed its insights and perspective.
At the time it seemed simple enough, but just another straightforward illustration assignment this wasnt. Much like the stories within this bookits easy to intellectually understand them, but real transformation lies in practice. I, of course, thought I had it all figured out and over early readings and discussions with Doc, spoke abundantly in generalisations and platitudes. He persisted in nudging my focus inwards. When have you felt this? How would you apply it to your life? What could your story become if you could see it afresh?
Living at Land, that beautiful haven ensconced in the Malanggad mountains off Mumbai, I reflected on these questions and began drawing without prejudice or preconception. It was like dropping baggage and old beliefs at the door and letting an inner voice speak honestly, openly. Slowly transforming not only as an artist, but as a human being. I didnt create work to appeal or preach, I drew from life.
But while these drawings are mine, they are now also yours. See them as you willas illustrations of ideas, whimsical visual musings or kick-starters to your own questions. Maybe if you will be so curious or generous, step into my universe awhile and play with the metaphors within. Return after youve finished reading the book and use them as a visual shortcut, a reminder.
