Ian Tuhovsky - The Science of Effective Communication

Wherever you go, whoever you are, and whatever you want to achieve in life, your success comes down to your communication skills. Its a simple fact that the best communicators get the highest grades, the best jobs, and the most attractive partners. They are the people who light up a room just by walking through the door.

Everyone wants to make friends with them, many envy them, and most of us long to know their secrets. Thanks to this book, youll discover exactly what they do that draws others to their presence. It may look like magic, but you can learn how to use their strategies for yourself!

In my previous book on this topic , I shared the very best methods, tips, and strategies that anyone can use to develop their communication skills. Im proud to say that it has already helped people of many ages and backgrounds. The positive feedback Ive received has been truly humbling.

However, I realized that there was room for a second book a volume written to help people develop their conversation skills. In this guide, Im going to show you how to talk to anyone about anything, and overcome social awkwardness. Youll also learn how to avoid feeling like an outsider in a group situation.

Dont worry if you havent read my previous book, as this guide works as a stand-alone volume. On the other hand, Id highly recommend that you read both. That way, as long as you are willing to put what I teach into practice, youre guaranteed to become an excellent all-around communicator.

Im not going to sugarcoat it improving your conversation skills is hard work. It involves breaking the habits of a lifetime, and taking a few risks along the way. But when you consider what you have to gain, it becomes a no-brainer you cant afford to let any poor conversation skills you may have become your biggest liability. There are so many benefits you stand to gain:

1. Enhanced Career Prospects

Think about the processes you have to go through in order to secure a job, succeed at your day-to-day tasks, build rapport with your colleagues, and sprint up the career ladder. At every stage, from the initial interview to your first speech as a member of the board, your social skills need to be outstanding.

If you cant talk to your colleagues, you wont be able to collaborate on projects. If you cant talk to your boss about any problems that you are facing at work, you will gain a reputation as a poor communicator. You get the point you absolutely need to understand how to hold conversations with anyone and everyone if you are to land that dream job.

1. Better Business Relationships

Conversation is one of the pillars of great business relationships. If youve ever spoken to an extremely dull person at a conference, youll know just how much of a barrier poor communication can be. You can be among the best in your field, but if you bore everyone you meet, you are unlikely to forge profitable, mutually beneficial deals and alliances.

1. Better Family Relationships

How many of us have tired ourselves out trying to make our parents and siblings understand us? That would be most people, right? Contrary to what the media would have us believe, most family relationships arent naturally easy, and many actually require a lot of work.

Only when you have mastered the art of conflict resolution, know how to share your views without irritating others, and understand when you need to bite your tongue when necessary can you hope to build respectful, loving family relationships.

1. Better Romantic Relationships

Along with my employment problems, this was one of my key motivators when it came to reading up on communication skills. I had a couple of girlfriends in high school and college but, for the most part, I was not a success with women.

For years, I couldnt figure out where I was going wrong. When I went on a date, I would try to be warm, witty, and interesting. It took a long time to work out that the secret to great conversation is actually to focus on the other person. Still, better late than never!

These days, I like to think Im doing much better on the romance front. Whether you are a man or a woman, whether your relationship is casual or something more serious, you can look forward to fewer fights and happier times together when you improve your communication skills.

1. Improved Self-Esteem

When you enjoy success in your career, family life, and personal relationships, whats the inevitable outcome? Better self-esteem, of course. There is little so frustrating in life as the feeling you get when you arent living up to your potential. Have you ever had the feeling that if you had only said the right thing at the right time, your life would have taken a turn for the better?

When youve finished this book, youll never again have to wonder about those what-ifs. The friendships and business relationships you forge will also serve to boost your self-esteem. We are social beings, and we thrive when we are surrounded by people that make us feel accepted and content. In turn, this helps us improve our social skills still further.

Why am I so interested in the art of conversation? It wasnt until my twenties that I realized that my social skills (or lack thereof) were starting to hold me back. Id had my share of communication problems in high school and college, but once I was out in the real world, things got serious.