Leah Remini - Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology

Troublemaker is a work of nonfiction based on the life, experiences, and recollections of Leah Remini.

Copyright 2015 by Leah Remini

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

B ALLANTINE and the H OUSE colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

Unless otherwise noted, all photos are from the authors personal collection.

ISBN9781101886960

eBook ISBN9781101886977

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Book design by Susan Turner

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In a time of universal deceittelling the truth is a revolutionary act.

Let me start with this:

I am an apostate.

I have lied. I have cheated. I have done things in my life that I am not proud of, including but not limited to:

falling in love with a married man nineteen years ago

being selfish and self-centered

fighting with virtually everyone I have ever known (via hateful emails, texts, and spoken words)

physically threatening people (from parking ticket meter maids to parents who hit their kids in public)

not showing up at funerals of people I loved (because I dont deal well with death)

being, on occasion, a horrible daughter, mother, sister, aunt, stepmother, wife (this list goes on and on).

The same goes for every single person in my family:

My husband, also a serial cheater, sold drugs when he was young.

My mother was a self-admitted slut in her younger days (were talking the 1960s, before she got married).

My dad sold cocaine (and committed various other crimes), and then served time at Rikers Island.

Why am I revealing all this? Because after the Church of Scientology gets hold of this book, it may well spend an obscene amount of money running ads, creating websites, and trotting out celebrities to make public statements that their religious beliefs are being attackedall in an attempt to discredit me by disparaging my reputation and that of anyone close to me. So let me save them some money. There is no shortage of people who would be willing to say Leah can be an assholemy own mother can attest to that. And if I am all these things the church may claim, then isnt it also accurate to say that in the end, thirty-plus years of dedication, millions of dollars spent, and countless hours of study and training didnt really fix me? Perhaps Scientology doesnt work.

S INCE I LEFT THE C HURCH of Scientology in 2013, I am often asked the question How does someone like you get involved with an organization like Scientology? Or some people may phrase it more like How the fuck did you get into some crazy shit like this?

Describing Scientology is no easy undertaking for anyone. There are plenty of people (many of whom are smarter than I am and have more formal education) who have worked to define and examine the church and the sway it holds over its members. This book, written from my heart and based on personal knowledge, is my attempt to portray my experience within Scientology and the repercussions I endured as a result.

So while I may not be able to say in a few brief sentences why I became involved in Scientology and remained a member for decades, I can tell you that whether you were raised in the organization or came to it after falling out with your own religion, traditions, or family, the central tenet of Scientology, as stated by its founder, L. Ron Hubbard (LRH), is incredibly alluring. Scientology offers a clearly laid out scientific process that helps you to overcome your limitations and realize your full potential for greatness. It is presented as a well-defined path to achieving total spiritual freedom and enlightenment and a full understanding of yourself and others. LRH wrote that the aims of Scientology are

a civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where Man is free to rise to greater heights.

He went on to state:

What is true for you is what you have observed yourself . And when you lose that, you have lost everything.

As well as:

Dont take my word that Scientology works or doesnt work, use it and see for yourself. Take what works and throw away the rest.

I, along with many others, found these approaches to be hugely empowering. I was taken with the idea that a deep, systematic, and straightforward wisdom on how to live the best life for myself (and the planet) could be presented before me in a direct, tangible, and comprehensive way. Through rigorous study and regular counseling (called auditing in Scientology), I could work toward the ultimate goal of going Clear, meaning I would no longer be affected by the part of my mind ruled by pain and irrationality. This promise of a higher living and way of thinking drew me in, along with thousands of others who were looking for an alternative to therapy or more traditional self-help.

I, like many current Scientologists, was a second-generation practitioner (meaning you were either born into Scientology or brought in by your parents as a child). When you are raised in the church, your whole lifeeach and every daybecomes all about the church. Unlike members of other churches or synagogues, who attend Sunday Mass or Shabbat dinner once a week, as a Scientologist you are expected to spend a minimum of two and a half hours a day, every day, seven days a week, at church, studying and/or in counseling. The same goes for your family, friends, and business associates. Its no wonder the indoctrination quickly sets up an us against them mentality. To leave, to question it, would mean leaving anything and everything you have ever known. And because you were raised in the church, your world consists almost exclusively of Scientologists.

For those who are not born into the church or brought in as children, the attraction to join is most definitely there. Imagine you are struggling in your life, in your career, or you are maybe an actor with little or no fame. You walk into a Scientology church or a Celebrity Centre (a Scientology church that caters specifically to artists), having been enticed by an ad you read in a magazine about improving your life or career. You are impressed with the beautiful building, and the welcoming people there. They offer you food, listen to what you have to say. Maybe you talk about how your parents are not supportive of your endeavors, and they respond, Wow, that is not cool. You can achieve your goals in life. Maybe you need to step away from your parents negativity for a bit and do a course here that will help you to reach your goals. You feel vindicated. This person understands me. He or she is my ally. This group believes in me. In the real world you may feel like you are nothing, but here you are treated with respect.

The other aspect of Scientology that draws people in is the recognition the church bestows on its members for their donations. Lets say you are a successful businessperson. Where else would you be pulled up onstage with crowds cheering in admiration for the million(s) you have donated? You are doted on by the church at this level, recognized, and made to feel special. Very enticing. Or what if you are someone who earns $45,000 a year? Youre now going to be celebrated and acknowledged for your $2,000 contribution (even if you have no money the church will find a way for you to borrow it) with a framed certificate in calligraphy certifying your donation. This in turn, again, makes you feel special. You believe you are doing great things for not only yourself, but for all of mankind. This type of celebration and recognition works on members of all levels.