Steve Farrar - How to Ruin Your Life by 30: Nine Surprisingly Everyday Mistakes You Might Be Making Right Now

HOW TO RUIN
YOUR
LIFE BY 30

NINE SURPRISINGLY EVERYDAY MISTAKES
YOU MIGHT BE MAKING RIGHT NOW

STEVE FARRAR

M OODY P UBLISHERS
CHICAGO

2006, 2012 by
S TEVE F ARRAR

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Much of this text originally appeared in How to Ruin Your Life by 40 , 2006 by Steve Farrar.

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the New American Standard Bible , Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. ( www.Lockman.org )

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version . Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version . Copyright 2000; 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Edited by Christopher Reese
Interior design: Smartt Guys design
Cover design: Connie Gabbert Design and Illustration
Cover image: Original illustration by Connie Gabbert

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Farrar, Steve.
How to ruin your life by 30 / Steve Farrar.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical refereces.
ISBN: 978-0-8024-0619-4
1. SuccessReligious aspectsChristianity. 2. Young adultsReligious life. 3. Young adultsConduct of life. I. Title. II. Title: How to ruin your life by thirty.
BV4598.3.F37 2006
248.84dc22

2006019839

We hope you enjoy this book from Moody Publishers. Our goal is to provide high-quality, thought-provoking books and products that connect truth to your real needs and challenges. For more information on other books and products written and produced from a biblical perspective, go to www.moodypublishers.com or write to:

Moody Publishers
820 N. LaSalle Boulevard
Chicago, IL 60610

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Printed in the United States of America

The first years of man must make provision for the last. He that never thinks never can be wise. Perpetual levity must end in ignorance; and intemperance, though it may fire the spirits for an hour, will make life short or miserable. Let us consider that youth is of no long duration, and that in maturer age, when the enchantments of fancy shall cease, and phantoms of delight dance no more about us, we shall have no comforts but the esteem of wise men, and the means of doing good. Let us, therefore, stop, while to stop is in our power: let us live as men who are sometime to grow old .

from Rasselas , by Samuel Johnson

T HIS BOOK DID NOT BEGIN as a book. It began as a twenty-minute graduation address for high school students at Coram Deo Academy in Flower Mound, Texas. It was graduation day for my son Josh and his fellow classmates. My address was titled How To Ruin Your Life by 40.

Approximately eighteen months later, I was invited to speak at Biola University in La Mirada, California, for their annual Torrey Conference. Josh and his older brother, John, were both students at Biola. As we were talking one day about the upcoming conference, they both said I ought to expand my How To Ruin Your Life by 40 talk. So I did.

About six months later, Mark Tobey at Moody Publishers said, Steve, you ought to take your talks on how to ruin your life by 40 that you did at Biola and turn them into a book. We published that book a few years ago, and then Moody approached me again, asking if I could take the advice I gave in the first edition and tailor it for a slightly younger audience. So here it is.

Now this is where things can get really boring. This is the point where authors begin to thank everyone who helped them put the book together. Its a good thing to be thankful for gifted people. But if youre not careful, you can turn your thanks into a literary version of a ten-minute Oscar acceptance speech.

So this is going to be real short but real important.

There are a lot of people I could thank, including my wife, Mary, who edits everything I write and makes suggestions that sometimes drive me nuts the first time she runs them by me. But her keen eye is almost always on target. Its great to have a wife who is on your team. And weve been a team for almost thirty-five years now.

My daughter, Rachel, read this book in its earliest stages and made some very astute observations that probed my thinking. Shes been doing that since she was three. John read it as well and gave me some of his wise discernment in several critical spots. Kathryn Harris read the opening chapters at our kitchen counter and gave me some excellent feedback. I told her I would thank her in the book. She didnt think I was serious.

But the guy who I really need to thank is Josh. In many ways, he was my coauthor on this book. He helped me take my four core talks and rework them and expand them from beginning to end. Ive quoted Josh at some points in the book. But those quotes represent a very small amount of his contribution. On this book he was my cothinker and copilot. This book simply wouldnt have happened without Josh Farrar.

Its important to me that you know that.

S TEVE F ARRAR

A T EIGHTEEN YEARS OF AGE , Jane Lucretia DEsterre was talented and beautiful. As she stood on the bank of a beautiful, deep lake in Scotland, she pondered plunging into the depths and taking her life. She had lost all hope.

The year was 1815, and her husband, John, had just been killed in a duel. He left her penniless, in a new country, completely by herself, with two babies to care for. Her family was in France, and she was without any kind of support: emotional, spiritual, or financial.

As she gazed into the depths of the lake and pondered the pain and brokenness of her life, she looked up and saw a young man on the other side of the lake plowing furrows on the hillside. He was completely focused on his work. He was not aware of her gaze as he guided the plow behind the horse with a single-minded purpose.

In her moment of despair, she was so impressed with the young plowmans focus and concentration on doing his work well, that his example and concentration pulled her out of her despair. Suddenly, she was infused with hope. Then the light went on in her head. She knew what she was supposed to do. She had received a timely dose of wisdom.

Jane acted. She decided to move straight ahead as the young plowman was doing. She, too, had a meaningful task to fulfill. Her children needed her. They had lost one parent alreadythey didnt need to experience the loss of another.

When she looked at the young mans example, she was given wisdom. Or to put it another way, Jane was given a wise heart. And when her heart became wise, it then became brave to do the right and hard thing.

A few weeks after this experience at the lake, Jane came to faith in Christ. A few years later she married Captain John Grattan Guinness, who was the youngest son of the famous brewer, Arthur Guinness.

Os Guinness tells this story in his excellent book The Call . Os is a gifted Christian author who has influenced many toward the kingdom of God. Jane DEsterre was Os Guinnesss great-great-grandmother. Os comments on the significance of the events that took place in Janes life when she was just eighteen: