Ben Connelly - Mindfulness and Intimacy

This book comes from infinite sources; no one can own it, but I am grateful to have been part of its life. I am indebted to so many great Buddhist teachers, in particular Gautama Buddha, Mahapajapati, Patacara, Vasubandhu, Shitou, and Dogen Zenji. The intimate transmission from teacher to student, upheld for millennia, so fully embodied by the great nuns Xinggang and Yikui, and generously shared by my teacher Tim Burkett, carries my writing forward. I have also sought and been carried by more recent inspirations: Ida Wells, Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. King, Malcolm X, Black Elk, bell hooks, Thich Nhat Hanh, Harriet Tubman, and Dorothy Day. Too many surely to list. In this writing, where I have erred, I own it, and where there is good may we see it as only a riffle in a great river of love.

I acknowledge that I live on land taken from Dakota people and carry countless unearned privileges due to my light skin, male sex, European heritage, and middle-class upbringing. I pray that knowing this may help me be humble and open to change.

To everyone at Wisdom Publications, and particularly the gifted Laura Cunningham, editor of all the books Ive written: bows.

To Tomoe Katagiri for her time by my side practicing one stitch, one stitch, one stitch, and for intimately passing on Buddhas robe: bows.

I have been blessed to share in the intimate practice of Zen with many dear friends at Minnesota Zen Meditation Center. You are too many to name, but some have walked the path with me so kindly for so long: Bussho Lahn, Susan Nelson, Kimberly Johnson, Ted OToole, Guy Gibbon, Wanda Isle, and Rosemary Taylor. A bow to you.

Without a thousand friends in addiction recovery with hands outstretched, I would not walk this earth, and without the many wonderful psychologists whove walked with me, that walking would be fraught with ancient pain. I humbly hope this book carries your compassion forward, and honors your path of practice. A deep bow to you all.

No one taught me more about being human than my dear family of birth: my mother, father, and brother. It is from you, at the very root, that I learned and learn to love.

I have no greater inspiration than my children and stepchildren: Max, Rocky, Daisy, Finn, and Delaney. May you find freedom in the bonds of love.

I am so grateful to share the loving intimacy, the daily and nightly truth of being who we are, in joy, in sorrow, in sleeping, and in waking, with my dear Colleen.

Go beyond mere mindfulnessand deepen your connection to yourself, the people in your life, and the world around you.

MINDFULNESS IS AN ANCIENT and powerful practice of awareness and nonjudgmental discernment that can help us ground ourselves in the present moment, with the world and our lives just as they are. But theres a risk: by focusing our attention on something (or someone), we might always see it as something other, as separate from ourselves. To close this distance, mindfulness has traditionally been paired with a focus on intimacy, community, and interdependence. In this book, Ben Connelly shows us how to bring these two practices together bringing warm hearts to our clear seeing.

Helpful meditations and exercises show how mindfulness and intimacy can together enrich our empathetic engagement with ourselves and the world around uswith our values, with the environment, and with the people in our lives, in all their distinct manifestations of race and religion, sexuality and gender, culture and classand lead to a truly engaged, compassionate, and joy-filled life.

This book carries vital medicine for todays world. Ben Connelly speaks from the heart of Zen and reminds us of our true and innate capacity for intimacy... I recommend it for everyone!

DEBORAH EDEN TULL, author of Relational Mindfulness

Ben Connelly beautifully articulates that a worthwhile spiritual practice a worthwhile journey through all our triumphs and travails; indeed, a worthwhile human life requires cultivating an intimacy with all things.

LARRY YANG, author of Awakening Together