David Klow - You Are Not Crazy: Letters from Your Therapist

In this short book packed with wisdom and insightful advice, Dr. Klow delivers on his promise to help people realize that though they may be suffering in silence, they are neither crazy nor unique, and that a therapeutic journey like the ones he offers his clients might be just the answer to their problems. As a seasoned therapist who secretly enjoys reading advice columns, I found this book a real page turner, as it offers sensible advice to people with problems ranging from unfinished business with parents, to breaking up with lovers, to finding meaning in life, and pretty much everything in between. Whether you are thinking of entering psychotherapy or just looking to see how an expert approaches some of lifes thorny problems, this book will give you a taste of what that self-transformative journey might look like, and you may just recognize yourself in one or more of the books excellent case vignettes.

Arthur Nielsen, MD, Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, Feinberg School of Medicine, Northwestern University, and faculty member at The Chicago Institute for Psychoanalysis and The Family Institute at Northwestern University

Through compassion, deep psychological understanding, often enriched through metaphor, David Klow goes to the root of ones negative internal voices that often block better self understanding and enhanced relationships. He offers hope and healing opportunities through his integration of important psychological perspectives. This should be good reading for beginning and seasoned therapists, as well as clients.

Linda Rubinowitz, PhD, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Assistant Clinical Professor, Department of Psychology, Senior Staff The Family Institute @Northwestern University

In this superb book, David Klow shares letters he has written to his clients in psychotherapy. Klows letters reveal the working of an outstanding therapist, and advance the use of writing to clients in therapy. These letters also capture the essence of good therapy, which above all else is about a caring shared interaction between clients and therapist. The wisdom communicated resonates broadly, well beyond the individual client to whom each letter is addressed. This is a magical volume sure to be of great interest to therapists, clients in therapy, and those who simply are engaged with the challenges of modern living.

Jay Lebow, Ph.D., ABPP, Senior Scholar and Clinical Professor, The Family Institute at Northwestern University

You Are Not Crazy is a touching collection of honest and heartfelt letters written by David Klow to his clients. The book offers the readers a powerful look into the confronting issues many of us share, while also giving the readers a peek into the internal experience and processing of the therapist. David uses a compassionate voice while labeling what it is he sees in his clients. He challenges them, which often may feel like hes challenging you, to lean into vulnerability and bravely move through the healing. You Are Not Crazy leaves you feeling more connected to yourself and the world around you, while bringing forward a gentler inner voice for yourself.

Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, founder of Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy in New York, NY, and relationship expert for Motherly.

Whereas most consumer oriented books on the subject of psychotherapy are guides that explain the techniques and principles undergirding the particular approach a therapist is taking, David Klow has offered clients an actual glimpse into the humanity of the therapist they sit with week after week. Klow is a deeply empathic companion to have on the journey toward self-understanding and healing. The book will encourage those who are contemplating taking the journey, as well as those already committed to the process.

Cheryl Rampage, PhD, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

This is a work of creative nonfiction. The letters are not to actual clients. Rather the individuals listed are an amalgam of various clients and people I have met over the years. They are composite characters. All names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Any events or clinical issues identified have been pulled from my work with various people over the course of many years. While the themes of my work are ubiquitous and common, any resemblance to actual individuals is purely coincidental.

Although I am a therapist, I am not actually your therapist. Reading this book does not create a therapist-client relationship between us. This book is not intended to be used as a substitute for actual psychotherapy with a trained clinician. The reader should consult with their doctor in any matters relating to their physical or mental health.

You Are Not Crazy
Letters from Your Therapist
David Klow, LMFT

2018 David Klow. All right reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews.

ISBN: 978-1-942545-95-8

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017956611

Excerpt from BEING IN LOVE: HOW TO LOVE WITH AWARENESS AND RELATE WITHOUT FEAR by Osho, copyright 2008 by Osho International Foundation, Switzerland. Used by permission of Harmony Books, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin RandomHouse LLC. All rights reserved.

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You are not crazy. Really, youre not. Others are experiencing nearly the same things as you. Yet they just dont talk about it. They often dont even have the words to describe what they are experiencing; but if they could, you might find that it is a lot like what you are going through. In other words, you are not alone. There is nothing wrong with you.

You see, the human condition these days is not only difficult, it is also isolating. So many of us think that we are the only one who is struggling. There is a sort of private shame that if others only knew the thoughts and feelings we are having, they would be shocked. Yet the secret is that they are having very similar thoughts and feelings themselves.

It is the human condition to have strange, dark ideations. It is normal to feel awkward, to yearn for all sorts of odd things and discordant experiences. We humans are a weird, lovely, and complex bunch. Most of us are evolving in ways that we dont quite understand. Yet from where I am sitting, this evolution is expansive and healthy and good.

Where I actually sit, day after day, is in a comfortable enough chair in a quiet enough room with individuals, couples, and families who are doing brave work to better understand themselves and their relationships with others. I am a therapist, and I watch as my clients struggle, grow, screw up, feel shame, and reach out for help. I join them as they succeed, overcome, and find unexpected inspiration. I go through a whole range of emotions each day. I cheer as my clients triumph. I cry with them as they fail and lose what they love. I lament their mistakes and celebrate their evolution.

There is so much I want to tell them each day, and I try my best to do so when I am in the room with them. Yet at times I cant always find the right words. I want them to know how much I care about their lives, how much I secretly root for them. I want to tell them how inspired I am by our conversations each week. The material that comes up in our work stays with me long after our sessions end. I learn from it, and my life is impacted by it.