InterVarsity Press P.O. Box 1400, Downers Grove, IL 60515-1426
2014 byRichard Plass and James Cofield
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from InterVarsity Press.
InterVarsity Pressis the book-publishing division of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA, a movement of students and faculty active on campus at hundreds of universities, colleges and schools of nursing in the United States of America, and a member movement of the International Fellowship of Evangelical Students. For information about local and regional activities, write Public Relations Dept., InterVarsity Christian Fellowship/USA, 6400 Schroeder Rd., P.O. Box 7895, Madison, WI 53707-7895, or visit the IVCF website atwww.intervarsity.org .
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from theHoly Bible, New Living Translation,copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
While all stories in this book are true, some names and identifying information in this book have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals involved.
Cover design: Cindy Kiple
Images: yellow texture: hudlemm/iStockphoto
still life: Elisabeth Ansley/Trevillion Images
ISBN 978-0-8308-9651-6 (digital)
ISBN 978-0-8308-3587-4 (print)
We could not have written this book without the loving and life-giving presence of our wives. Through them we have learned to trust more fully and thus relate more deeply. We dedicate this book to them, Sallie and Joy.
Our children have also taught and helped us in ways they cannot know.
Rich: To my children, Jennifer, Rebekah, Elisabeth (and their husbands Troy, Ben and Chris), Margaret, Matthew and Michelle, I say thank you.
Jim: To my children, Justin (and his wife Kristina) and Ashley, I also say thank you.
Contents
1
Our Relational Reality
Created for Connecting
H arry lived directly across the road from my (Rich) house in upstate New York. He was alone in his mid-nineteenth-century farmhouse, which was barely hanging on to its earlier days of beauty. Harry would occasionally eat dinner with our family, paying my mother four or five dollars a week for his meals. His claim to fame at our dinner table was pouring chicken gravy on my mothers homemade apple pie. How that tasted Im not sure; I never tried it!
One night when I was twelve years old I woke up frightened out of my wits. It sounded as if someone was kicking in the front door, which was immediately below my bedroom. I heard my father jump out of bed and head down the stairs, muttering things I cannot repeat here. Opening the door he came face to face with Harry. Harry barged into our front room, settled into a yawning floral blue chair without a word and in a matter of minutes was sound asleep. My father climbed the stairs still muttering pretty much what he did on the way down. By 6 a.m. Harry had disappeared back into his old farmhouse.
Harrys midnight episodes continued over the next six months. He routinely woke up my family by pounding on the door. Each time my father muttered as he headed down the stairs to let Harry into the front room, where Harry slept until early morning. These episodes stopped when Harry was taken to the hospital. My mother told me he was terminally ill with cancer. Several weeks later Harry died alone.
Many things struck me about Harry. There was the thing about pouring gravy on apple pie. And there was his beating on our door in the middle of the night.