Andrew Matthews - Happiness in Hard Times

Copyright

Andrew Matthews, 2009, 2010

The moral rights of the author have been asserted.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or otherwise be copied for public or private use, other than for fair use as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews, without prior written permission of the publisher. The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual wellbeing. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781848504059 in Mobipocket format

ISBN 9781848504066 in Epub format

To the millions of readers of our books all over the world

I dont know where to begin or what to say, or how to express our gratitude for your loyalty, generosity and daily emails, because a mere thank you doesnt seem enough.

Andrew and I are overwhelmed and ever so grateful to you for keeping in touch with us. I want you to know that every email that you send us is read and appreciated. Thank you from the depths of our hearts.

To my dear friend Michael Rakuson former director of Tower Books thank you for encouraging me to produce Happiness in Hard Times . In your quiet, gentle manner, you persuaded me to create a book appropriate for the current times. Bless you, Michael.

To all of you who responded with your stories when I asked for help, I thank you with all my heart. You replied so graciously and promptly. You sent us thousands of emails. Each of your stories continues to inspire Andrew and me. I admire your strength and courage. I congratulate you on deciding to move forward, seeking happiness in spite of your challenges. This is the book you all helped to write, for everyday people going through everyday challenges.

To Annie Backhaus, Adrian Elmer, Alfred Engel, Mark Kenway, Geoff McClure, Rod Mudgway, Dianne Mulcahy, Moya Mulvay, Cherry Parker, Jenny Truran to Alison, Craig, Greg, Hong, Joe, Carmen, Frank and Maria, thank you for sharing your experiences.

You bared your souls so courageously. You opened your hearts each time we spoke. You held nothing back. You shared your stories in the hope that your stories would inspire one other person to feel better. To all of you, I salute you!!

And to you the readerthis is the book for everyday people going through everyday challenges. This book is for you. This is a book for your friends, your family, your colleagues, your neighbours. This is a book for people you meet on your travels and for people you know who are going through troubled times.

Happiness in Hard Times is also a book for those of us who havent been through hard times. It puts your life into perspective. It will get you back on track. It will make you realise that a better and brighter future is waiting and remind you how to get there.

Happiness in Hard Times will inspire so, so many readers.

Your journey to peace and happiness has already begun. I wish you all lifes very best

On a bicycle ride around the world, my friend Aden stopped awhile in a West African village to help build a bakery. He said:

It took us several months to build the bakery. We made the bricks from crushed anthills. Every day the village children came to help. None of the kids had shoes but one happy little guy always wore one sock no shoes, just a sock. He was about 10 years old. I called him One Sock.

Eventually my curiosity got the better of me. I said, One Sock, tell me about this sock you always wear.

He said proudly, My Mum washes it every night. I wear it every day.

I said, Yes, but why do you wear one?

He seemed surprised by my silly question, and then he smiled broadly and said, Because I only have one!

Perhaps you are broke right now. Perhaps you have lost your job or lost a loved one. Maybe you are sick. You say, I just dont know what to do.

Here is the first thing to do and the only thing to do. You accept where you are.

To turn things around you first make peace with your situation. Forget about blame, forget about guilt, forget the what ifs. Progress depends on acceptance. Acceptance doesnt mean, I want to stay here. Acceptance means: This is where I am and now I move on to what I want.

Instead of, My husband is a gorilla and Im stuck with him, it is more like, My husband is a gorilla. What a perfect learning experience! I now realise I deserve better treatment.

Instead of, Ive lost all my money. If only I hadnt invested everything with Honest Eddies Equity Fund, you say, I am where I am. I made it once, Ill make it again.

Imagine you are overweight and you want to become thin. If you say:

What happens? You stay fat.

But theres another option:

You accept where you are. Now you can move forward.

Acceptance isnt giving up . Acceptance is recognition that, This is a part of my journey. Very often it means, Right now I have no idea why this had to be a part of my journey but I embrace it anyway.

In a Nutshell

Acceptance is power.

Imagine that in the last week you:

Okay, so you had a busy week.

Question: What do each of the above have in common? Answer: These are all things that you might do to feel happier. Really! In fact, its a trick question because I could have put anything on the list. The motivation behind everything you do and the motivation behind everything everybody does is to feel better.

Dont take my word for it. Ask the psychologists or read Plato, Aristotle and Sigmund Freud. There is a lot of debate about the meaning of life . There is broad agreement about why we do what we do we want to be happy and stay happy.

You devour an entire pizza in three minutes. Your thought is, This feels good. I want to be happy now. You hire a personal trainer and eat lettuce for six months. Your aim is, I want to like my butt and this will make me happier. You quit alcohol. Why? If I do this I will feel better. Whether you donate to Red Cross or belt your neighbour, your motive is, If I do this I will feel better.