Andrew Matthews - Stop the Bullying!

The evening of Wednesday February 4, 2009, was like any other. Our son Allem had dinner with us and then went with his mate Thanh to their friend Monicas house. They spent the evening teaching Monicas little sisters to play cards.

Allem got home at around 10.30pm. He asked my wife Dina, Whats for lunch tomorrow?

Dina said, Its in the refrigerator.

Allem seemed bright and happy. He grabbed a bag of chips and a can of coke which he usually does to have a snack. He went to his room and shut the door.

It was almost midnight when we heard him still on his computer. I was about to get up to say, Allem, you need to turn everything off, youve got school tomorrow. But we heard nothing more and Dina and I fell asleep.

We awoke at 6:30 next morning to find his door open. Allems room was empty. On his bed was a note. It seemed Allem had gone to the West Gate Bridge.

Shocked, stunned, numb, we called every friend we could think of. No one knew anything. We called the police.

At 7.15am the police called back. They asked if Allem had an insulin pump with himand asked what colour it was. We knew something was very wrong.

At 7.30am a police car pulled into our driveway but the officers sat in the car for several minutes. We could see they didnt want to get out. We stood at the front door. Dina held me so tight.

I asked the police, Is our boy alive?

And they said, Im sorry, Mr Halkic. Hes dead.

Allems body had been found at the foot of the bridge. I cant describe how that moment is. Something inside you dies.

Allem was our only child and he was everything that we could have wanted in a son. He was sensitive, intelligent and unusually considerate. Allem had many friends that we knew wellthey would come to our house to eat, play music and just relax.

Allem loved Metallica, loved his Ipod, playing his guitar and playing poker. He loved his Mums potato scallops.

We were a very close, happy family. Our life revolved around Allem and his friendswe felt we were as much a part of Allems life as parents could be.

Unable to believe or comprehend this tragedy, we asked ourselves, What was so terribly wrong that we knew nothing about?

Allem in Cyberspace

Allem liked to chat with his friends on his laptop. He would talk to ten or fifteen people at a time and I would hear these beeps come out of the room. Id come in and say, Allem, what are all these screens popping up?

And he would explain, Theyre all my friends.

Id ask, How are you talking to all these people at once?

He would shrug and smile, We all do it.

We always assumed, Our child is home with us, in his bedroom. If he is under our roof, he is always safe and he cant get hurt.

In December 2008, Allem had fallen out with a former friend. This friend, who was three years older than Allem, had made insulting comments about another of Allems friends. The disagreement escalated.

Allem began to receive threatening texts and emails, Ur all mouth and no action, wait till I get my hands on you, Im telling u now Ill put you in hospital, Dont be surprised if you get hit sometime soon. You f_cked with the wrong person its payback time. Youll know my car as I drive towards youthe white one with the spotlight on top. There were threats to involve well- known violent gangs.

The perpetrator also circulated emails to his friends encouraging them to gang up on Allem: Were going to smash that dog.

Allem received over 300 threatening messages on his phone and his laptop. The bullying was relentless. Dina said, We would hear Allem bashing the keys of his computer but we didnt realise what he was doing online. We had no idea he was trying to save his own life, the poor thing!

We never saw any sign that Allem was struggling and definitely no sign that he might ever take his life. His friend Cain said later, Allem didnt like anything to do with conflict. It was typical he didnt want to bother his friends he didnt have a bad bone in his body.

During Christmas vacation 2008 Allem came to work with me for a couple of weeksI work for an international express and logistics company and Allems job was to pack and sort parcels. After school resumed I noticed a barcode from work stuck on his door. He explained with a grin, Dad, every day this reminds me why I have to stay at school.

Dina and I felt so proud. Allem had applied to a college. I had chosen a car for him. Allem wanted to be a chef and travel the world on a luxury liner.

We were so thrilled when Allem was born. You hold a new born baby in your arms. You never think that seventeen years later you will hold that same child in your armsand every bone in his body is broken. You never think that seventeen years later you will bury your beloved son in such horrific circumstancesand you will never see him again.