Colopy - Pure love, pure life: exploring Gods heart on purity

ZONDERVAN

Pure Love, Pure Life

Copyright 2012 by Elsa Kok Colopy

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Zondervan, 3900 Sparks Dr. SE, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49546

ePub Edition December 2014: ISBN 978-0-310-74814-4

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide.

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All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meanselectronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

Cover design: Gayle Raymer

Interior design: Sarah Molegraaf

14 15 16 17 18 19 /DCI/ 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Dedicated to some of the most amazing teens (and soon-to-be teens) in my life: Samantha, Rebecca, Mary, Hannah, Danielle, Mallory, Corie, Madison, Olivia, Heather, Bethany, Rachel, Emma, Sarah, and Maisey.

Table of Contents

by Ron and Katie Luce

Seeing Gods love
(and letting it make a difference)

W ow, Jesus! If you can bring this kind of beauty from my kind of mess, I cant wait to see what you do in other lives! You are so goodthank you for this honor. And to my hunka-hunka-burning love, Brian K. Colopy. Im so glad we do this pure life togetherfrom when we were dating to our pure (to each other), crazy-in-love marriage. You are coolness and godliness wrapped in one studly package. I hit the jackpot with you! To my girl, Samantha K. Lynch, you were a huge catalyst to my pure pursuits. Thanks for reading this book, giving me good advice, and cheering me on. Love you, darling! Mom, thanks for being a prayer warrior and confidanteyoure a great companion in this life. And to my fabulous editorJacque. Thanks for breaking me out of my stuffy voice and bringing me back to me. You rock! I also want to honor the special young woman (and her mom) whose story stirred my heart toward teens who have been violated. You know who you areyour story helped shape this book. And to the rest of my family for their support and cheers, I love you all: Dad (in heaven), Piet, Carol, Enno, Rob, Laura, John, Wendy, Linda, Brenda, Deb, Gary, Andrea, Chris, Joe, Tami, Dave, Jean, Kirk, Lori, Pieter, Luke, Caleb (in heaven), Ben, Curran, and Andrew. And finally, to Sean, Jessica, and Cassie: youre in my heart always. Oh, and I cant forget the pups: Reeses, who laid at my feet through the early writing of the book (faithful boy) and then went off to doggie heaven; Max, who chewed up the rough draft of the book (bad, but adorable boy), and Simba Roo, our skittish pup with a tender heart.

W e are eager to add our Yea! and Amen! to Elsas book, Pure Love, Pure Life.

When we launched Teen Mania in 1986, it was with a deep desire to disciple teens toward transforming faith and radical love for our God and his people. God has been gracious in hearing the cry of our hearts. We have had the profound privilege of connecting with young people for almost twenty-five years now, and we have definitely seen it all! Unfortunately, weve seen over and over the effects of media and culture shaping the minds of our youth in the area of their purity and sexuality. From TV shows to Top 40 hits, the enemy has used captivating and clever antics to mold the values and morality of teenage America and the results have been disastrous!

Even our Christian young people who grew up in the church, who have caring Christian parents, are experimenting with the worlds alluring ideas: I kissed a girl and I liked it, friends with benefits, sexting, and more. The stats show that an overwhelming number of teens in the church are no different from the teens outside of the church. How can this be? So many Christian teens have been sucked into the same lies about sexuality as the un-churched kids and theyre experiencing the same resultsbroken hearts and broken lives.

But the truth is, however captivating and seductive the worlds ways seem, they do not work. If you think for a minute that they do, just look at Hollywood: the most beautiful people in the world, full of sex appeal and influencing millions, are some of the most broken, hurting individuals alive. What a dichotomy! Theyve got more money than they know what to do with, more fame, more popularity, more beauty (even if it is surgically induced), yet they go through marriages and relationships like they mean nothing at all. The cat fights, the drugs, the rehab, the turn-over in relationships, six marriages so far, and how old are they? Thirty-five?

And yet we watch their passionate romances on the big screens, and think Oh, I want to be them! They think they know what true love is? I dont think so!

Only God knows what true love ishes the one who invented true love, true passion, marriage, and even sex. Think about that oneif you thought God was a religious, stuffy, antiquated old relic, you have the wrong idea about God. Sex was an original thought from Gods heart. But he knows that sex doesnt work outside of a loving, covenant relationship between a husband and awife. As Elsa so eloquently states it, God does not give us boundaries to try to ruin our lives or to destroy our fun. Hes trying to protect us from lies and inevitable consequences that really will destroy us in the end.

Elsa has written an incredibly down-to-earth, honest, and thought-provoking book to help you think through all of the issues you are bombarded with concerning purity and sexuality. She is a woman of integrity and cares deeply about your generation. As you read this book, you will feel the love and compassion God has for you no matter what youve been through, but you will also come to understand that his ways are very different from the worlds ways.

If you truly desire wholeness in your life, long-lasting, healthy relationships with people around you, and maybe even an amazing marriage youve only dreamed about someday in the future, read this book! Fulfilling those dreams has everything to do with living a pure life before God.

One more thing: God never intended us to live this life alone and isolated. Thats another reason why Christians fail to live a godly life; theyre trying to do it on their own. We are meant to live in connection with other humans; in communityconnected to friends who can cheer us on and hold us accountable; connected with mentorsolder and wiser people who can give us wisdom and direction. (Elsa is one of those, mentoring you through her book.) We are also meant to be connected with younger people, to help them live life successfully. You can be an example for younger siblings and younger girls in your church. We are all examples to someone and we all influence others whether for good or for bad.

We want to encourage you to use this book in the most effective way. Gather a group of friends and read it together. Challenge each other. Discuss the ideas and hold each other accountable. Find an older godly woman who you can share your heart with and from whom you can gain wise counsel. If living out the ideas in this book is going to be a big change for you, you will need support and accountability to make those changesbut it will be well worth itguaranteed!