Gaskin - Life after baby loss: a companion and guide for parents

Drawing breath in the immediate aftermath of loss.

Exploring ways of surviving the loss of a baby through miscarriage.

Marking the continuation of your life without your baby.

Looking at our expectations of grief and how to live alongside it.

Seeking and holding on to our natural happiness at the good news of others.

Inviting positive ways to meet and hold other new babies.

Navigating the ravages of anger and ways we can relieve the burden.

Contemplating loss the world over and how we can nurture new-found compassion.

Gentle suggestions for Mothers Day celebrations.

Joining in the Christmas season festivities and ideas to include your baby.

Finding ways to mark your babys birthday.

Shared experiences of the desperation of trying to conceive following loss.

Guidance through the anxious journey of pregnancy after loss.

A holding hand along the path of welcoming your new baby into the family.

Confidently continue your life into the future creating a legacy for your baby.

Pass this helpful chapter on to someone whose support and comfort you seek.

For all parents and family managing the emotional battlefield of baby loss.

When my baby died my whole world changed forever. I was left full of love, yet deeply heartbroken and faced with the task of living without my most precious longed for treasure. Following a fraught journey of trying to conceive again, two subsequent miscarriages, and an anxiety fuelled pregnancy after loss, I was finally able to welcome my baby girl into the world. This is the book I wish Id been given it will help you to not only survive the loss of your baby but to celebrate the life they had, no matter how brief. This is my hard won gift to you.

Losing a child is one of the most devastating events you can go through and yet, losing your baby particularly before they are born remains a taboo and often misunderstood topic. In this very gentle guide, Nicola Gaskin opens up the conversation around baby loss offering raw, honest and deeply empathetic support to all parents.

From coping with the initial shock, finding ways to overcome jealousy and anger, surviving birthdays and Mothers Day, through to living with everlasting grief and the fresh round of grief and anxiety that comes with parenting after loss, it will help you to navigate through a huge range of intense and complex emotions.

Beautifully written and powerfully illustrated, this book will hold your hand through your darkest and lightest moments: read it to know you are not alone and that all your feelings are absolutely valid.

Nicola Gaskin lost her son Winter shortly after giving birth. She went on to have two miscarriages, finally giving birth to her baby daughter Raven. She has been recording her journey since her pregnancy with Winter on her blog One Day of Winter and through her Instagram account one day of winter.

I would like to dedicate this book to my son Winter Wolfe. He is the weight missing from my arms, he is the occupier of my heart, he is the love that lifts my spirits.

I would like to dedicate this book to ron Matzon. His life inspired his mother to draw the most beautiful illustrations. Without him, this would be a book of many words but not a single picture. He connected two mothers and countless others.

I would like to dedicate this book to every single spark of life that has left this world so swiftly but never without meaning. Teeny tiny lives, monumental love.

Throughout this book I have described babies that have died as lost babies. It took a long time to settle on an appropriate phrase. Of course, we know that we do not really lose a baby. They are not a set of keys or a handheld diary. They are not misplaced. We were not lackadaisical with their life. We know all too well that there will be no finding them. Lost baby, sleeping baby, angel baby, forever baby, whatever term we use, really we know they are simply a loved baby. For clarity, I made the decision to choose one phrase throughout the book, but if you wish you can choose to mentally change that as you read, to any name that will bring you the most comfort.

The loss of a baby there is nothing else quite like it. A truly devastating and monumentally painful tragedy that alters your every notion of reality. Whether during a cherished pregnancy or after a baby is brought home and loved, when your baby dies your future is rewritten in an instant.

A babys death is the polar opposite of new life. And so you take your first steps into the world of loss in a cave with a flashlight, searching for hope and guidance.

When we lose our baby we are left crushed and bewildered. A thief has crept into our brightest dreams and darkened them, stealing not only a little beating life, but the future we had planned together. The unfathomable question rests heavy on our shoulders: How can something that has only just begun end so swiftly? The reality of life ceasing so abruptly before a deserving chance is so far out of the order of life that we are left blindsided and swept out to sea. There is both a sense of disconnection when we just simply cannot comprehend the magnitude of what has happened and a sense of having lost everything at once, a numb yet undeniable pain.

The circumstances of our loss can differ vastly. Missed miscarriage, when a baby is lost without any physical symptoms, a baby born silent but perfect, an infant birthed and buried as fast as the sun rose and set, a pregnancy that gently held the tiniest of sparks, a child who was taken home healthy and plucked so suddenly from our grip, a babe we willed through illness but who sadly could not stay.

My personal journey into the world of baby loss began with the loss of my son. I became pregnant quickly, and I had a gentle and healthy pregnancy experience. There were no complications expected and I had no real understanding of loss. After a natural and fairly uneventful labour, our little boy Winter Wolfe was delivered and placed onto my chest. We held him close, so full of newborn awe that we didnt even manage a photograph before he suddenly stopped breathing and was whisked away to be resuscitated. At one day old, our baby could not be saved. We held him in our arms and felt his heart drum its last little beat. I became a bereaved mother, forever loving and missing my Winter. And our journey to a living baby was yet to throw more obstacles and pain, as two early miscarriages left us further heartbroken.