Endorsements
Rachel Lewis has created THE guide that all parents experiencing pregnancy loss need when leaving the hospital grief-stricken, without a baby in their arms. In Unexpecting , Rachel wraps you in a warm embrace and takes your hand as she gently walks youthe newly bereavedthrough your heartbreaking new normal of what to expect when you are no longer expecting.
Lindsey M. Henke, MSW, LICSW, founder of Pregnancy After Loss Support
Rachel has an authenticity that few are able to convey with such compassion. She is relatable because shes been there. Shes struggled with the same faith questions and platitudes and has done the work to find where her strength and joy truly come from. She doesnt shy away from hard things that we all-too-often like to avoid or wrap with bows to cover up the heartache, and she shares her heart in the most positive and uplifting way.
Lori Ennis, MS Ed, editor, Still Standing Magazine
Rachels book provides a much-needed resource for a common, yet rarely spoken of, time in many womens lives. She speaks tenderly and yet candidly about the physical and emotional experience of losing a baby, providing reassurance to any parent who reads her words. I have had multiple children pass away at various ages, and this book would have been an invaluable resource during those times.
Diana Stone, editor, Still Standing Magazine
After experiencing miscarriage and stillbirth, I searched for community and that is exactly what I found while reading Unexpecting . Rachels writing is validating of an experience that others urge you to ignore. She helps you embrace the heartbreak of loss and reminds you that youre not alone in doing so.
Rachel Whalen, author of An Unexpected Family Outing blog
Unexpecting is a comprehensive, gentle, and real conversation with a friend who intimately understands the complexities and heartache involved in pregnancy loss. Rachel compassionately helps parents who have lost a baby navigate the unrecognizable land of life after loss, all while assuring them their grief is valid and necessary.
Jenny Albers, loss mom, founder of the Still Loved pregnancy and infant loss community, and author
Rachel Lewis is a well-known inspirational leader for women whove navigated infertility and pregnancy loss. She speaks into the lives of women with vulnerability, hope, and encouragement. Across the nation, women read her words so they can connect with someone who offers them truth and light in a time of personal darkness.
Sarah Philpott, PhD, founder of Loved Baby Support Group, author of Loved Baby
The power in Rachels story is matched only by the strength of her writing. Her ability to connect at a soul level with her readers is a rare gift. Hurting moms will be heartened by her message of hope, hard-earned through her own struggles to build a family.
Kathi Lipp, bestselling author
Rachel Lewis is a powerful storyteller. Part of what makes her writing so captivating is that she holds nothing back, sharing experiences and the resulting emotions that so many women can relate to (pregnancy loss, self-doubt, sadness) but are unable to talk about themselves. Her voice represents all of us who have lost a child. I would snap up her book in an instant!
Heather Morgan Shott, former editor in chief of Momtastic and Today Show contributor
Rachel Lewis does a masterful job of portraying the heartbreaking reality of miscarriage, infertility, and loss with an honesty and rawness that draws readers in and lets them know they are not alone. But, in a stunning way, she weaves a beautiful tapestry of hope and strength, even through the darkness, through her words in Unexpecting . This is a must-read for any person who has personally gone through this type of loss.
Mike Berry, author of Winning the Heart of Your Child
I personally havent experienced pregnancy loss, but Rachels words always draw me in and captivate the readers on our website. She has a way of igniting compassion for those who have dealt with loss while simultaneously teaching and leading gently through a topic many people see as taboo. Her words captivate and teach all at the same time, and I have no doubt that her message will help many people.
Meredith Ethington, author, Mom Life ; editor, Thats Inappropriate
As the editor for the Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death ( M. E. N. D. ) magazine, I see firsthand how personal stories of loss and infertility benefit and encourage families who struggle to travel the same road. Rachels unique way of writing captures every moment and thought, the battles within our hearts and minds. While we struggle to make sense of it all, Rachels experience and insight help us to understand our own grief of empty arms. While pregnancy loss is very common, there are not enough resources to minister to us during this journey. Rachel has that ability to reach women in a way others cannot.
Jennifer Harrison, writer and editor, M. E. N. D. magazine
The journey after pregnancy loss is often a lonely, unlit path, full of the unknown. Through her writing, Rachel becomes a gentle guide for the readershining a light on the path and leading them through the twists and turns that follow loss. As a woman who has experienced pregnancy loss firsthand, I found encouragement and hope in Rachels story and her trust in God throughout her journey.
Kim Nowlin, life coach and former pastor
Rachel has the ability to draw you in, tell a story, and educate you, no matter what topic she is covering. I have had the pleasure of working with Rachel, as she served on my leadership team for a local pregnancy loss support group. Her invaluable experience and words helped many people feel as though someone understood them. Rachel truly has a gift for putting her thoughts on paper, and it is through her struggles that she writes what so few are able to and reaches families who are struggling with loss.
Stacy McGhee, M.E.N.D. chapter director for NW Washington
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
2021 by Rachel M. Lewis
Published by Bethany House Publishers
11400 Hampshire Avenue South
Bloomington, Minnesota 55438
www.bethanyhouse.com
Bethany House Publishers is a division of
Baker Publishing Group, Grand Rapids, Michigan
www.bakerpublishinggroup.com
Ebook edition created 2021
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
LiLibrary of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress, Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-1-4934-3335-3
Scripture quotations are from the New American Standard Bible (NASB), copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
While this book has been reviewed by a licensed obstetrician and a mental health professional, it cannot substitute for medical advice from your doctor or from your mental health practitioner. Always refer to your doctor for your individual medical needs.
Cover design by Kathleen Lynch/Black Kat Design
Cover illustration by Kristina Boothe
Author represented by the Steve Laube Agency
Dedication
For Olivia Joy Lewis
&
The Lewis Babies
You didnt get a chance to change the world.
But you changed me.
Contents
Cover
Endorsements
Half Title Page
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Introduction
Part 1 Loss