Alford Aaron - Bearded gospel men: the epic quest for manliness & godliness

Contents

Praise for Bearded Gospel Men

They had me at memes, and they kept me hooked with bearded gospel legends as every page turned. Im fairly certain my beard is thicker and shinier than ever thanks to this book.

Jake Holland,

YouTube/Twitter star

Bearded or not, we can all use a few heroes and role models to inspire and guide us as we explore what it means to follow Jesus. Bearded Gospel Men introduces us to a diverse group of examples with a tone that is both irreverent and deeply meaningful. Im going to share it with my sons.

Chris Wignall,

Executive Director of the Catalyst Foundation

Short chapters: check. Hilarious: check. Challenging: check. Pictures of insanely gorgeous beards: check. I was laughing within thirty seconds. I highly recommend it!

James Kelly,

Founder of FaithTech

Bearded Gospel Men is at once inspirational, insightful, and hilarious. The writing, laced with delightful wit, offers an encouraging glimpse into the lives of bearded brothers of the Beloved.

Bradford Loomis,

Recording artist/singer/songwriter

This is a work of both whimsy and profundity, at once silly and sublime, filled with hirsute hijinks and hair-raising insights. Jared Brocks and Aaron Alfords playful humor is irresistiblemany times I positively chortled, and even a few times guffawedand their vivid portraits of 31 manly (and maybe bearded) men are riveting and convicting. This is a book to make you both laugh and think. Even more, this is a book to make you want to be more, well... manly. And more godly. Im even thinking of growing a beard.

Mark Buchanan,

Author and professor

Uncle Jared has a bigger beard than anyone except God.

Cain Greene,

Age 4

2017 Jared Brock and Aaron Alford

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Published in Nashville, Tennessee, by W Publishing, an imprint of Thomas Nelson.

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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.

Scripture quotations marked ESV are from the ESV Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version). Copyright 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked BSB are from the Holy Bible, Berean Study Bible, BSB. Copyright 2016 by Bible Hub. Used by Permission. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the King James Version. Public domain.

Meme designs by Aaron Alford.

Any Internet addresses, phone numbers, or company or product information printed in this book are offered as a resource and are not intended in any way to be or to imply an endorsement by Thomas Nelson, nor does Thomas Nelson vouch for the existence, content, or services of these sites, phone numbers, companies, or products beyond the life of this book.

Epub Edition September 2017 ISBN 9780718075026

ISBN 978-0-7180-9930-5 (SC)

ISBN 978-0-7180-7502-6 (e-book)

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017946593

Printed in the United States of America

17 18 19 20 21 LSC 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Dedicated to Robino Kent and Ronaldo Zacharias, two of my favorite somewhat-bearded gospel men.

J. B.

Dedicated to Dad, Mom, and Andre, the family in whom I learned what it meant to be a man and live the gospel. The bearded part I figured out later.

A. A.

THE MANIFESTO

BY JARED BROCK

C harles Finney. George Mller. D. L. Moody. Jolly Old Saint Nick. What do all these men have in common?

Beards.

Your humble authors have experienced a vast array of diverse Judeo-Christian traditions and have discovered one powerful thing that unites the Protestant, Catholic, and Orthodox worlds: follicle faithfulness.

Men have been growing facial foliage since the beginning of time. While its not officially mentioned in Genesis, were pretty sure that in the Beardginning, God created the heavens and the beard.

Did you know that Abraham had a beard? Of course you did. So did his son Isaac. Though not as hairy as his caveman brother, Esau, Jacob is often depicted with a manly mane. King David wore a beard, as did his wise-guy son, Solomon. It goes without saying that Moses face was well forested, and Aarons beard is specifically mentioned in Psalm 133.

Technicolor-dream-coated Joseph also had a crumb catcher until Pharaoh turned him into a smooth-cheeked Egyptian. Noah (a.k.a. Russell Crowe) had a beard, obviously. And lets not even pretend that Methuselah was baby-faced. Job, Elijah, Jeremiah, Ezra, and the apostle Paulall bearded.

Do you know who else had a twenty-four-hour five oclock shadow? Jesus The Man Christ.

And if we believe what we see on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, then the bearded Michelangelo certainly was a prophet painter for knowing even God Himself displays Santa-like plumage.

Is there a connection between hairiness and holiness?

Yes.

One might even say that we are justified by face. Every hair is a prayer, every collar cover an offering of love. Beards teach men contentmentwhen you have a beard, you have enough.

Throughout history, Christian men have gloried in male-pattern magnificence. Saint Benedict of Nursia wore a superb double-forker. The benevolently bushed Euthymius wouldnt allow clean-shaven monks to enter his Judean Desert monastery. Saint Francis of Assisi had a beard, and now theres a pope named after him. Hes clean-shaven, but were praying for him.

Lets pause for a moment and consider all the people who didnt have a beard. Hitler. Mussolini, Stalin, Mao. The Devil himself (pointy goatees dont count).

The documentation of beardliness is a hallowed tradition. Abbot Burchard of Bellevaux wrote Apologia de Barbis in 1160 as a treatise on the biblical, theological, moral, social, and allegorical implications of beards.

Of all the great Christian men who wore beards, none stands so highly as the headless martyr Sir Thomas More. On the day of his beheading, the tufted knight supposedly positioned his beard away from his soon-to-be-severed neck, saying, This hath not offended the king.

Beards mean leadership. John Knox, Menno Simons, and George Mller founded entire denominations, most likely on the strength of their beards. The well-bearded General William Booth founded an army on the strength of his food saver. Hasidic Jews, Quakers, Greek Orthodox, hipster pastors, and worship leadersall bearded. A beard confers instant leadership. Its the difference between Mister and Sir.

Speaking of bush-faced worship leaders: David Crowder or those unbearded Newsboys? We rest our case.