Cousineau - The kindness cure: how the science of compassion can heal your heart and your world

Grounded in solid research, this book is heartfelt, funny, and so helpful, with tons of practical suggestions and effective tools. Sharp, insightful, and right to the point, Tara Cousineau shows us how live from a strong heart. Highly recommended.

Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Hardwiring Happiness

A lovely book, replete with simple kindness and full of reminders of how to enjoy and embody a kindful life.

Jack Kornfield, author of The Wise Heart

This is a wonderful book that focuses on kindness, bringing in work from a variety of different disciplines. If you want to learn to bring more kindness into your life, this book is a good place to start.

Kristin Neff, author of Self-Compassion, and associate professor in the department of educational psychology at The University of Texas at Austin

Using practical techniques supported by research, Tara offers simple yet powerful exercises that reconnect us to qualities of compassion and kindness, and in the process, incline our minds and hearts to dwell in these states more naturally. The Kindness Cure gives us carefully considered, warmly delivered keys to a deeper experience of kindness and connectedness.

Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness and Real Love

If there were a single practice capable of transforming person and planet, it would be kindness. If you were to read a single book on kindness, let it be this one. Blending her expertise in psychology with her deep life experiences, Tara Cousineau offers you a path for cultivating kindness within and without.

Rabbi Rami Shapiro, author of The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness

Kindness truly connects people across their differences, and is the key ingredient in social change which this book beautifully demonstrates. Through a research lens, Cousineau takes us on a journey that is witty, relatable, and encouraging. Its a practical guide to understanding just how much kindness can reshape our world for the better. A must-read.

Jaclyn Lindsey, cofounder and CEO of www.kindness.org

For many years, Tara Cousineau has shared her message about the power of kindness and compassion to lift others out of the distress and despair of everyday living: from daily hassles to wrestling with inner feelings of low self-worth, and sense of disconnection. Putting her message into a book about our innate ability to care and be kind, and how to nurture this capacity, is timely and much needed. I, for one, would welcome it as a resource for clients and colleagues.

Nancy Etcoff, PhD, author of Survival of the Prettiest, and assistant clinical professor and psychologist at Harvard Medical School and the Massachusetts General Hospital Department of Psychiatry

Our world is hungry for kindness, and I know Tara Cousineau as someone who is dedicated to inviting more kindness, compassion, and understanding through her writing. I highly recommend The Kindness Cure for the wisdom it contains.

Donald Altman, author of 101 Mindful Ways to Build Resilience, The Mindfulness Toolbox, and One-Minute Mindfulness

We have chased personal success and happiness to the point of exhaustion. No matter how much we achieve or acquire, we come up empty, lonely, bereft. In short, we are in need of a cure. But, as Tara Cousineau so elegantly and thoroughly reminds us, our medicine is in our DNA. We are wired for caring, connection, and compassion. Read The Kindness Cure and pass it on. Let the infection of kindness begin!

Janet Conner, author of Writing Down Your Soul, The Lotus and The Lily, Find Your Souls Purpose, and more

In her warm and wise voice, Tara Cousineau reminds us that beneath our often frenzied and distracted lives, kindness is at the heart of our being. Even with the practice of mindfulness, life is difficult for everyone. Kindness is an action we can perform in almost every moment; it connects us to others and brightens all our lives.

Susan M. Pollak, coauthor of Sitting Together, and president of The Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy

Tara Cousineau has created a groundbreaking, beautifully written book on kindness. It is a forgotten concept, but one which is vital for our health and well-being, especially in the times we live in now.

Alice Domar, PhD, coauthor of Live a Little! and Self-Nurture

Publishers Note

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.

Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books

Copyright 2018 by Tara Cousineau

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

5674 Shattuck Avenue

Oakland, CA 94609

www.newharbinger.com

Cover design by Amy Shoup

Illustrations by Pamela Best

Acquired by Jess OBrien

Edited by Marisa Solis

All Rights Reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Cousineau, Tara, author.

Title: The kindness cure : how the science of compassion can heal your heart and your world / Tara Cousineau, PhD.

Description: Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, Inc., 2018. | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2017058866 (print) | LCCN 2017060149 (ebook) | ISBN 9781626259706 (PDF e-book) | ISBN 9781626259713 (ePub) | ISBN 9781626259690 (pbk. : alk. paper)

Subjects: LCSH: Compassion. | Kindness. | Caring.

Classification: LCC BJ1475 (ebook) | LCC BJ1475 .C68 2018 (print) | DDC 177/.7--dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017058866

For Sophie and Josie

The Kindness Cure is a peerless book on kindness that exceeds any existing work on the subject. Clinical psychologist Tara Cousineau, PhD, is an advocate for a deeper sense of our shared humanity and a practitioner of secular spirituality, with its mindfulness and practical techniques intended to elevate kindness. If you want to be a little kinder to people, including yourself, this book points you in the right direction. It combines wisdom, great stories, spirituality, useful tips, psychological insight, and good science with clear writing that anyone can enjoy as the wordsand the many wonderful sketched imagesjump right off the page and into the mind and soul of the reader. Rarely has a book been better able to draw the reader into an experiment with the potential for personal transformation and growth.

Why kindness in particular? Because kindness is an everyday word for everyone. It is a simple concept, and easy to understand. It is based on no special revelation, no esoteric truths, nor any rare insight into ultimate reality. Because kindness is a humble word, it does not invite arrogant debates and conflicts that pit us against them. It is refreshingly unifying; we all know what it means when someone asks if we could have been a little kinder.

Tara uses the word kindness because we all know it when we experience it. A lens on kindness focuses the mind on the small details of our day-to-day lives. These details are palpable: facial expression, tone of voice, attention to details, a listening pause, humility that never crowds others out of the room, or even just a simple thank you. These are not big things, but they are the basic ingredients of a life well lived. Kindness reveals the dignity, value, and beauty of all the people we encounter on the path of everyday life. It is not an abstract love for humanity, but a concrete concern, a local way of engaging the world right where you are. We are all the right person in the right place at the right time to be kind, and Tara helps us see that the effort is worth it.