Fonger - Anatomy of Love Addiction

ANATOMY OF
LOVE
ADDICTION Barbara Fonger Copyright 2016 by Barbara Fonger.

I have wrestled with myself for years whether or not I should bare my soul to the whole world. Im going to do it even though the fear of rejection is paramount. Addiction is running rampant in our country. Its hijacking the lives of people of all ages and has been for a very long time Addiction is a plague. Alcohol and drugs are consuming our population. Its no wonder our country is in such a mess.

We take a pill to make our mood better. We take a pill to kill our pain. Many of us are at the mercy of the medical system. Its not just street drugs that are killing us. It is the acceptance of alcohol abuse. It is the acceptance of drugs.

Recreational use of drugswhat exactly does that mean? Does that mean its okay to smoke marijuana, take LSD, snort cocaine on the weekends? As long as we dont do it during the week, it makes it okay? When people do these drugs, do they really understand the risks they are taking? It only takes one mistake under the influence to ruin someones life. The tolerance of this behavior is playing with fire. There is evidence suggesting that the downfall of past civilizations can be attributed to alcohol. We are not learning from our history. I hope these rhymes can help people identify these feelings of grief and sadness so we no longer try to escape them through drugs and alcohol. The denial is what keeps the secret hidden.

We need to learn to recognize the enemy. I can only hope that this small contribution to this enormous problem will help som eone. INTRODUCTION I hate you!! I cannot wait until you grow up and get out of my life! I do not know what I did to deserve to be punished this way!! Having kids like you!! I do not know why God is punishing me!! She was ranting at us again. Dad must have been out drinking or something. I heard him earlier telling her that If you did not have those rotten kids, you could go with me! So she was going to make sure she let us know it was our fault. I was five or six, and my sister was fourteen months older than me, and my brother was twenty-two months younger.

I had heard this all my life. There was never a time I felt welcome in this family. This is the story of my journey here on Earth. I have always known I made my choice to come to this family from before I took my first breath. I remember it as if it were yesterday, and I always have. Sounds strange, but it was the very thing that kept my hope and faith alive through the many tragic events that were to transpire through this lifetime.

When you have a life of crises, followed by more crises, you learn to survive, not live; living and thinking beyond your needs is not possible, especially if you are a child and are threatened all the time. To this day, when I am threated, I want to run. This is the way it all began. I am sixty-five years old now and would like to share my story, not to tell anyone how to do it or even that I have any answers for any of it, just because it has been a story of redemption, one of redeeming oneself from utter des pair. DEDICATION I would like to acknowledge my loyal friends who have listened to me for hours and have been such a meaningful part of my life. To my special friend Virginia Stevens who took the time many years ago to type these rhymes into a form that was preserved through the years.

I owe so much to her for her efforts and her belief in the publishing of this collection. Thank You to you all and you know who you are. IN MEMORY JERALD FONGER AND SUZANNE DESHAZER
may you rest peace. I was a spirit waiting my turn, To make the journey so I could l earn. A gift that is granted to certain s ouls, To learn about love is the goal. I said, Send me to a family most n eedy, They can be mean and even be gr eedy! I wont lose sight of my assign ment, With your help, I will bring align ment! He said, Oh, my child, listen now, You will lose your way, this I avow.

No matter how troubled, difficult, and dark, I will not withdraw my love s park. You will get lost and feel a lone. But I promise you this: you will find your way home! This is my story. I hope it helps you. I am sorry youve done me harm, I got turned on by all the c harm. It stole my heart like a young girls dream Because, oh, heaven did it seem! I cared so much, and gave my best, Of course, your game had a place to test.

So my heart got shatt ered, When I found you just flatt ered. What a silly girl Id been. Duped by lies, with stars in my eyes. I cried a lot, my passions ran hot, Was it love, or was it a plot? Oh! Dear God, the sorrow and pain! Of the one lost to crack coc aine. There you are, lost in time, There is the love, I thought was mine. Fooled by the flood, drugs ab ound, How crazy it seems all ar ound.

Fathers, sons are lost for sure, In an illusion that is not pure. To take the easy way, I say, Is to give your soul to drugs away. Cant tell you how I ache for them, Realizing nothing can release the hem. Hemmed in they are, in the darkened r ooms, Of their minds, they seem to s woon. Oh , God, I pray you save the day! So in vain, I did not give my love away! Help me light a path to life, Just a small contribution to this pl ight. The earth is crying, mankind sig hing.

In this illusion of the way to go They are all dying and dont even know. Why the darkness is so deep? Man thinks he knows all, but oh how he sl eeps. Life is gone before he know s it, Nothing left to show fo r it. Up and down they go, roller-coaster h ighs, Depressing lows. Hurting victims on their t rips, Never realizing truth on others lips. They say all things to smooth things out, And for time they look a bout.

But the thing is sneaking upon them, All their efforts gone on a whim! Addiction is the worst to bear, Especially when they think God is not t here. Powerless to the drugs they in gest, They give up life at its best. The plague runs rampant far and wide, It takes them to the darkest side. They yell, they scream, they hurt themse lves, Just for a line thats on the she lves. How sad it is, they are so lost, They think theyve found the Holy C ross. And all it is that makes them lame, Is crack, amphetamines, and coc aine? Father, please look at all youve done, Before its too late, please help your son.

Hes dying now as I w rite, Hope its not out of mind, out of s ight. Oh, love, sometimes how it h urts, Especially when it comes in sp urts, Oh, drug induced mi sery, Why do you come so freque ntly? Your life is a mess no hope for the fu ture, For love is not what you nur ture. So families cry at the loss, ta king, Of the individual Oh! Heart breaking I shall not love again like this, Its only hell when they promise you b liss. They know not what they put you thr ough, They just blame you until youre blue. Accusing, slashing with their sp eech, It sticks to them like a sucking l eech. Away they go! So sad it s eems, They die like flies, never realizing their dr eams.