Meyer - Eat the cookie-- buy the shoes: giving yourself permission to lighten up

Copyright 2010 by Joyce Meyer

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ISBN: 978-0-446-56919-4

I t was Saturday afternoon in St. Louis, Missouri, during our 2007 annual autumn womens convention, and we were on a brief lunch break preceding the final session of the conference. This is one of the most significant events that our ministry sponsors. It is attended by thousands of women from all over the world, and it requires a tremendous amount of hard work, creativity, and preparation. The three-day conference begins on Thursday evening, and by the Saturday lunch break, Im usually mentally, physically, and emotionally tired. This particular event seems to take a lot out of me for several reasons. By the last session, I feel a great deal of responsibility to be sure that the conference ends in a way that leaves our attendees energized and very glad they came.

We had enjoyed a small lunch, and I was gathering all of my strength getting ready to go to the platform and bring the conference to a fantastic finish. Dave and I were leaving the lunchroom when I saw a plate of chocolate chip cookies I had passed by when I was selecting my lunch from the buffet. As I saw them this time I thought, I really want (need) a little piece of one of those cookies. I stopped at the table and broke off about one-third of one of the cookies and ate it. As we proceeded to the platform Dave said, Did you just eat part of that cookie? His tone of voice was accusing and right away I got defensive. I felt like saying, Chill out it is just a piece of cookie!

You might wonder why Dave cared about one-third of a cookie. We had recently signed up at a workout facility nine months prior to the convention. We worked out three days a week and had committed to a special eating plan that was rather strict. Four days a week we ate mostly protein and vegetables. The fifth day was called a free day because we got to eat one meal consisting of anything we wanted to eat. Usually on that day we ate pasta and/or dessert. We were free to eat whatever we wanted during that one meal as long as we got right back on our eating plan the next day. Our free day for that week was the following day, and Dave had challenged me because I had eaten the piece of cookie on the wrong day.

In his own words, he was only trying to help me. But I didnt want help or advice. I wanted the cookie! I was tired, I had come a long way in the conference, and I needed something to get me to the finish line. I didnt care what it was, but it needed to be fun, pretty, or sweet. And the cookie happened to be the first thing I saw that fit that description. Being a man, Dave does not understand things like that. He is very logical and in his mind, it simply wasnt the right day to eat the cookie. He wanted me to know that I would be sorry after I ate it. However, I was not the least bit sorry. I felt that I deserved it, and in the same set of circumstances I would do it again!

My friend saw what was happening between me and Dave, and having compassion and understanding, she put her arm around my shoulder and said, You deserve that cookie, and if I were you, when this last session is over I would go buy a pair of shoes to go with it! (She knows I like shoes.) She totally understood that the cookie was meeting an emotional need of mine. Being a left-brained male, Dave didnt get it at all.

I went onstage and made a joke out of it, like I usually do about most of the things that happen between Dave and me, and everyone enjoyed it immensely. Actually, the ladies cheered so long and loud and were so happy for me that I had eaten the cookie that I began to realize that there was a larger issue involved in the eating of the cookie that needed to be explored. Thats how the idea for this book was birthed. Interestingly enough, when the teaching about the cookie aired on Enjoying Everyday Life, it was so well received that it was voted the favorite program of the year by the people who watch the broadcast. Obviously, Id struck a nerve.

There are times when we all need to eat the cookie and buy the shoes in order to help us finish what we have started or as a way of celebrating something we have accomplished. Your cookie and shoes can be anything that you enjoy. It can be a favorite food, a nap, a manicure or pedicure. If you are a brave man reading this book, you can play golf, go fishing, go to a ballgame, or whatever helps you rest and refreshes you. You may even be a man who likes manicures, pedicures, and bubble baths, or a woman who likes to get out tools and build something amazing. We dont have to fit into some society mold. We are free to enjoy anything as long it is not immoral or illegal.

I sincerely wish that the male species was more understanding about the cookies in life, but most of them just dont seem to get it. Dave fully intended to go hit his golf balls Saturday evening, which is his way of relaxing and celebrating a job well done. But he still had the nerve to comment about my cookie! It isnt fair that cookies have calories and golf balls dont. If every golf ball Dave hit had ten calories, he would weigh a thousand pounds!

Dave truly was trying to help me when he commented on the cookie. He loves me immensely and is extremely good to me. But he simply didnt understand my need at that moment. Sadly, if we are not confident about our choices, we can easily let other peoples comments make us feel guilty and ruin the joy we need to experience in life through doing the little things that mean a lot to us. My friend rescued me from the guilt that could have hounded me that day, and I am thankful to God for using her. I didnt need guilt as I approached the final session of the convention. I needed the cookie and the thought of shoes later that day!

Sadly, if we are not confident about our choices, we can easily let other peoples comments make us feel guilty and ruin the joy we need to experience in life through doing the little things that mean a lot to us.

Making people feel guilty about anything is not Gods mode of operation. The source of guilt is the devil. He is the accuser of the brethren, according to the Bible (see Rev. 12:10). God will convict us of wrong choices and actions, but He never tries to make us feel guilty. Guilt presses us down and weakens us, but godly conviction brings awareness of wrong, and an opportunity to change and progress.